Downturn but still sober this hour
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 41
Downturn but still sober this hour
Hi Friends,
Working my recovery average around 2 meetings a day. I have 25days
The ex weighs heavy on my mind...can't shake it. addict like me (me more alky but all the same) ..[I deleted the long-winded details]...
.It is enough to know I miss her bad and dealing with it and all the other emotions I now feel and can't deaden with drugs...got me going a bit....I have cleanedup all the loose ends. Told a friend we both talk to (her best) that if she ever wants to come inside I will drop everything and take her to a meeting...the girls of NA can have it from there....soooo..if she contacts me now I will know she was not lying about her love for me...she just wants to stay outside....so I have done the right things there
Woke up this morn to head to work in the bitter cold (-30 F windchill)...my old truck is dead...nothing new...got it running but it seems soleniod froze...antifreeze froze (no sh___) ...so no work today....I work 10 miles aways from my home...
Wont get paid again till next monday....
Including the 200 pennies I have 5.68 cents to my name....brain wants calculate if i can get messed up enough on that....I won't let it do the math
I alternate being able to break down all these things into solvable steps...and being overrun be the futility of it all....
I can make it even in the cold....I think...just real sad...28 years of "Living in my disease" wont let me out...
Working my recovery average around 2 meetings a day. I have 25days
The ex weighs heavy on my mind...can't shake it. addict like me (me more alky but all the same) ..[I deleted the long-winded details]...
.It is enough to know I miss her bad and dealing with it and all the other emotions I now feel and can't deaden with drugs...got me going a bit....I have cleanedup all the loose ends. Told a friend we both talk to (her best) that if she ever wants to come inside I will drop everything and take her to a meeting...the girls of NA can have it from there....soooo..if she contacts me now I will know she was not lying about her love for me...she just wants to stay outside....so I have done the right things there
Woke up this morn to head to work in the bitter cold (-30 F windchill)...my old truck is dead...nothing new...got it running but it seems soleniod froze...antifreeze froze (no sh___) ...so no work today....I work 10 miles aways from my home...
Wont get paid again till next monday....
Including the 200 pennies I have 5.68 cents to my name....brain wants calculate if i can get messed up enough on that....I won't let it do the math
I alternate being able to break down all these things into solvable steps...and being overrun be the futility of it all....
I can make it even in the cold....I think...just real sad...28 years of "Living in my disease" wont let me out...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
thanks for sharing your truth.... sounds like a challenging day, but you know what you've got?
You've got a clear head and a healthy body today because YOU, sir.... YOU ARE SOBER.
All the rest of it is temporary and you are best-prepared to be everything you can in this life, regardless of what shakes out, when you're sober and clear and truly YOU.
It's ok to be sad. We can easily torment ourselves when we FEEL. OH ****!! I THINK I'M FEELING!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!???
Sometimes, it's ok to just feel. And say "ok... I'm feeling sad. I have some grief here.... hello grief, how's it going?".
But you don't have to drink over it.
Hang in there and keep on sharing your truth. It's gonna be OK.
You've got a clear head and a healthy body today because YOU, sir.... YOU ARE SOBER.
All the rest of it is temporary and you are best-prepared to be everything you can in this life, regardless of what shakes out, when you're sober and clear and truly YOU.
It's ok to be sad. We can easily torment ourselves when we FEEL. OH ****!! I THINK I'M FEELING!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!???
Sometimes, it's ok to just feel. And say "ok... I'm feeling sad. I have some grief here.... hello grief, how's it going?".
But you don't have to drink over it.
Hang in there and keep on sharing your truth. It's gonna be OK.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 41
Thanks ya'll. Bringing my spirits up! Like everything and everyone else around me and my addiction tornado...my truck needs some recovery....hehe...I am my truck's Higher Power.....
Today I am grateful I have SR and my truck is right in front of my house!!!!
Truck aint fixed yet but it is closer than it was....and the ole boy and myself are givin it a go
okay time to go back into the freeze
Today I am grateful I have SR and my truck is right in front of my house!!!!
Truck aint fixed yet but it is closer than it was....and the ole boy and myself are givin it a go
okay time to go back into the freeze
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