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Accepting our limitations

Old 01-06-2014, 07:43 AM
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Accepting our limitations

I feel an important ingredient in maintaining sobriety is the ability to accept my own limitations. For many years, I have used alcohol as a crutch for making certain social situations easier to manage. Because I am an introvert, I don't naturally have the ability to spark up small talk with strangers, and for many years I have perceived this as being a character flaw and have used alcohol to try and correct this deficiency.

Now, though, I have chosen to accept myself for who I am. I am not an extrovert, I am an introvert. And this is okay. If I don't feel at ease during certain social situations, especially ones that require networking and small talk, so what? That's okay. I am strong in other areas. And besides, this is a skill that can be learned. There are many people in which this skill does not come naturally, but they work at it without the help of alcohol to better themselves at it, and this is what I can do as well.

I have also accepted the fact that I can never be a social drinker. I have never enjoyed having one or two beer and then calling it quits. One beer to me does nothing. It's like having one nacho chip in a plate full of them. The old saying "one is too many, and one hundred is not enough" is so true for me. Another part of accepting my limitations is accepting the fact that I am not an alcohol drinker. I am terrible at it, it's not something that I know how to do nor is it something I will ever learn. Can anyone learn how to just eat one nacho chip out of a plate full of nachos? It doesn't seem like something that makes sense to me. For others, sure, they can do it, but not me. I accept this now, and you know what? That's fine. I'll never play in the NHL either, and it's not because I don't want to be a professional hockey player, it's because I don't have the physical abilities to do so. I am not depressed over this fact, it's just the way it is; I have chosen to move forward with my life, much the same as how I've chosen to move forward without alcohol.

Anyway, good luck everyone! Thanks for reading.
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Old 01-06-2014, 07:53 AM
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Clearmind, what a great insightful post. Accepting introversion was key for me, too. Yesterday someone asked me if I would be going to NOLA for Mardi Gras this year. I said no immediately, and realized a few years ago I would have felt somehow guilty for not going, but really, picking my vacation, I'd much rather be with just a few close friends on a quiet beach! There's nothing wrong with introversion. The Susan Cain TED talk about introversion is a good thing to watch if you're ever feeling bad about being one!
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Old 01-06-2014, 07:56 AM
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@ClearMind,

It really demonstrates the ability of a focused mind. A mind that has learnt the true value of self-belief. Now, you have discovered the real you. This is how we become wiser - with a true......ClearMind

Well done.
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Old 01-06-2014, 07:59 AM
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Wonderful post. It snapped things into perspective this morning. I keep telling myself "I'm only human and I'm only a human". I always felt I should be doing much more that I was capable of accomplishing. Now I realize I do plenty now that it's based in reality.
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Old 01-06-2014, 08:51 AM
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Loved reading this today. I'm the same way. I'm also trying to remember that being an introvert is NOT a flaw or weakness. To the contrary, introverts lead an incredibly rich and glorious inner life (though I'd been numbing mine with alcohol for years) and this is a gift.

Thanks for this post!

Jackie
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Old 01-06-2014, 11:51 AM
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Great post. I agree, though I'd suggest that being an introvert is not a limitation, rather just a difference. It is not that being introvert makes us deficient in some way and that extrovert is the socially acceptable way to be. In fact some extrovert people can be really annoying in social situation x
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Old 01-06-2014, 12:01 PM
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hypo, I completely agree! There are some extroverts I've met who I truly wish were more introverted.... haha
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