Wondering if anyone can relate
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 457
Wondering if anyone can relate
I've been fighting this for a while, starting to turn that battle around too - bit by bit :/ I'm using a few means of support and one of the most impacting has been a psychologist I've been seeing, specific to drinking.
Drinking has very much become an obsessive habit for me. It's funny, the actual drinking (buzz, escape, etc etc etc) doesn't interest me near as much as it used to. Nor do I really care for it (pretty sick of it mostly), at least compared to this time last year since I've worked at this and discovered a few thing (even if I’ve badly worked at this it seems).
Not saying I never chase the 'buzz, escape, etc' from drinking, or underplaying why I'd still drink, don't get me wrong. I've just got a very different perspective on it now. I DID NOT think I'd write anything like that a year ago (regarding not caring for the buzz, escape etc).
I can be obsessive. In no real order but something like, stop drinking on that certain day, makes sense like that, fail, one day at a time, or plan to start on ‘x’ day maybe, or maybe start of the week, start of the month, try not to over think it, succeed, fail again, can't start again until 'x' day, bring in random ‘x’ thought about overcoming this and interlace it with another few to wind it all up in a bundle of thoughts that has me drinking, ‘just until’ I figure out how it do attack it properly. Obsessiveness can very much be a part of me.
Thought I'd share this to see if anyone can relate. Not in these words (though at times) I'm told I'm an irregular case when it comes to alcoholism, like on paper it doesn't add up.
Also a new year thank you to everyone here. Mentioned at the start that one of the most impacting means of support has been seeing someone, but SR is right up there -- I wouldn't have even found it near that far if it wasn't for here.
Drinking has very much become an obsessive habit for me. It's funny, the actual drinking (buzz, escape, etc etc etc) doesn't interest me near as much as it used to. Nor do I really care for it (pretty sick of it mostly), at least compared to this time last year since I've worked at this and discovered a few thing (even if I’ve badly worked at this it seems).
Not saying I never chase the 'buzz, escape, etc' from drinking, or underplaying why I'd still drink, don't get me wrong. I've just got a very different perspective on it now. I DID NOT think I'd write anything like that a year ago (regarding not caring for the buzz, escape etc).
I can be obsessive. In no real order but something like, stop drinking on that certain day, makes sense like that, fail, one day at a time, or plan to start on ‘x’ day maybe, or maybe start of the week, start of the month, try not to over think it, succeed, fail again, can't start again until 'x' day, bring in random ‘x’ thought about overcoming this and interlace it with another few to wind it all up in a bundle of thoughts that has me drinking, ‘just until’ I figure out how it do attack it properly. Obsessiveness can very much be a part of me.
Thought I'd share this to see if anyone can relate. Not in these words (though at times) I'm told I'm an irregular case when it comes to alcoholism, like on paper it doesn't add up.
Also a new year thank you to everyone here. Mentioned at the start that one of the most impacting means of support has been seeing someone, but SR is right up there -- I wouldn't have even found it near that far if it wasn't for here.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I think every alcoholic has to overcome their own thinking, be it obsessive or not, in order to recover. Our mind, and the tricks it plays, are our greatest hurdle.
Get obsessive about sobriety and you'll achive it.
Get obsessive about sobriety and you'll achive it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 53
@Kys - one of the things (in my opinion) that I have noticed about some people that say " I am having a week or month off from alcohol" is that the success can come from - knowing that there is a reward at the end. The reward of having a drink. If there is no reward of a drink - in other words.....no longer drink, it is much less appealing.
I have also learnt - that in my case, I have inherited, not the.....alcoholism from my mother but....the behavioural characteristics of addiction. It may have been - smoking, exercising, dieting or drinking. All of which I take to the extreme.
Now, I take sobriety to the extreme. The one extreme I need to keep. Anyway, that's what have learnt about myself.
Nearly 8 months and feeling great.
I have also learnt - that in my case, I have inherited, not the.....alcoholism from my mother but....the behavioural characteristics of addiction. It may have been - smoking, exercising, dieting or drinking. All of which I take to the extreme.
Now, I take sobriety to the extreme. The one extreme I need to keep. Anyway, that's what have learnt about myself.
Nearly 8 months and feeling great.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I have an addictive personality/tendency. I've consistently used a whole string of substances and behaviors my entire life (at least since I was 3) to escape my feelings.
Addressing substance abuse was concrete enough for me to use what I learned to address some of my more amorphous addictions. I have been in recovery to one degree or another for nearly 5 years and clean and sober for nearly 2 years. As I gain more time between me and doing anything and everything but sit with my emotions...more is revealed. Getting off the drugs and alcohol for a significant amount of time, and allowing myself to look at my life free of mind altering substances is allowing me to have the insight and honesty to address what's really going on behind the scenes.
In my early days of sobriety I couldn't do it. No matter how honest I thought I was, there were things I still couldn't see or feel because I just didn't know how.
I had 13 yrs of therapy in the past and they didn't do as much for me as getting and staying sober, and being consistint in my recovery efforts.
I had to not only truly break the chemical cycle, but also give my brain a chance to learn the skill of living without those crutches before I got to a point where it truly makes sense to me.
I used to think I needed my addictions to function, but I had to stop turning to my addictions long enough to realize and be convinced I didn't need them and actually function better without them. There was that very awkward stage in between, floundering like a fish on land, but it was worth pushing through to the other side.
A leap of faith.
For me, sobriety had to reach critical mass before it took off , and that took me just dedicating myself to it NO MATTER WHAT...until it made sense.
Hanging around SR was the key for me...because reading the experiences of others made me believe that it would happen for me if I just kept at recovery and didn't drink/use ever again.
Addressing substance abuse was concrete enough for me to use what I learned to address some of my more amorphous addictions. I have been in recovery to one degree or another for nearly 5 years and clean and sober for nearly 2 years. As I gain more time between me and doing anything and everything but sit with my emotions...more is revealed. Getting off the drugs and alcohol for a significant amount of time, and allowing myself to look at my life free of mind altering substances is allowing me to have the insight and honesty to address what's really going on behind the scenes.
In my early days of sobriety I couldn't do it. No matter how honest I thought I was, there were things I still couldn't see or feel because I just didn't know how.
I had 13 yrs of therapy in the past and they didn't do as much for me as getting and staying sober, and being consistint in my recovery efforts.
I had to not only truly break the chemical cycle, but also give my brain a chance to learn the skill of living without those crutches before I got to a point where it truly makes sense to me.
I used to think I needed my addictions to function, but I had to stop turning to my addictions long enough to realize and be convinced I didn't need them and actually function better without them. There was that very awkward stage in between, floundering like a fish on land, but it was worth pushing through to the other side.
A leap of faith.
For me, sobriety had to reach critical mass before it took off , and that took me just dedicating myself to it NO MATTER WHAT...until it made sense.
Hanging around SR was the key for me...because reading the experiences of others made me believe that it would happen for me if I just kept at recovery and didn't drink/use ever again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 53
@Threshold - thank you so very much for responding. I would like to commend you on your amazing 3321 posts and 51 Blogs, that is a truly fantastic effort regarding continuous support on SR.
It really shows that we use these threads to further discover ourselves through the experiences of others.
I am also learning that the more I share my story with others - how it affects them, how.....they talk about the way in which they would like to change their own habits.
I look forward to reading more of your insightful posts.
It really shows that we use these threads to further discover ourselves through the experiences of others.
I am also learning that the more I share my story with others - how it affects them, how.....they talk about the way in which they would like to change their own habits.
I look forward to reading more of your insightful posts.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
I was obsessive my whole life. I know what you are talking about. I was glad to find this thread because it makes me feel like I am not alone. My Psych knows about my life, my OCD, my ADHD and my anxiety.
This is my first attempt with SR at the same time.. Many attempt to quit...make commitment date...follow through for a while..slip..start back with a date...blah blah blah. You know what I mean...
Just wanted to share that last month my son had to remind me of how hilariously drunk I was night before. Very sad to have to hear it from my 16 year old. I was so blind to fact that even though he would laugh, he was also very "DISAPPOINTED" with me.
Now my obsession turned to NOT HAVING A DRINK.
I am surprised it is working this long...
Stick with SR. It has been life changing for me. Everyone is so supportive..
This is my first attempt with SR at the same time.. Many attempt to quit...make commitment date...follow through for a while..slip..start back with a date...blah blah blah. You know what I mean...
Just wanted to share that last month my son had to remind me of how hilariously drunk I was night before. Very sad to have to hear it from my 16 year old. I was so blind to fact that even though he would laugh, he was also very "DISAPPOINTED" with me.
Now my obsession turned to NOT HAVING A DRINK.
I am surprised it is working this long...
Stick with SR. It has been life changing for me. Everyone is so supportive..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 457
Thanks Kflee, glad to read your post. Thanks to everyone else also.
I've found that the connection with OCD and alcoholism is a hard one to explain, even here sometimes. That connection is what binds me to booze the most. Sometimes it seems when I try to write about it, it just comes off as a simple A+B=C. Simple right?
...Yeah it's not though sometimes. However, it can be overcome. Revelling in happiness, and just letting go of that obsessiveness. Now that puts a smile on my face.
I've found that the connection with OCD and alcoholism is a hard one to explain, even here sometimes. That connection is what binds me to booze the most. Sometimes it seems when I try to write about it, it just comes off as a simple A+B=C. Simple right?
...Yeah it's not though sometimes. However, it can be overcome. Revelling in happiness, and just letting go of that obsessiveness. Now that puts a smile on my face.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Kys 
I've found that the connection with OCD and alcoholism is a hard one to explain, even here sometimes.
However, if you latching onto OCD as a way to skirt the real issue, the alcoholic's "obsession" with drinking, then you may continue to struggle. Alcoholism is treatable. You just don't seem to be treating it right.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,344
There are similarities between addiction and OCD, in booth cases the brain dictates actions that we in reality (at least part of us) does not want to perform.
I read Gabor Mate, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts some months backs (great book) he had some thoughts on that.
Is it only in regarding to alcohol you are obsessive are is it also in other aspects of life?
I read Gabor Mate, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts some months backs (great book) he had some thoughts on that.
Is it only in regarding to alcohol you are obsessive are is it also in other aspects of life?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 457
Thanks. There's other aspects too, and I know it's not as black and white as OCD/drinking but through my treatments OCD has surfaced as a contributing factor where a lot of this seems to stem.
I've realised I'm obsessive about many many things, approaches, thoughts etc. Working on this. I have (worked on it) a bit in the past but not as much as I should have, or at least continued with.
Alcoholics obsession is there of course. I'm just saying this (above) has the strongest grasp on me, it would seem.
I've realised I'm obsessive about many many things, approaches, thoughts etc. Working on this. I have (worked on it) a bit in the past but not as much as I should have, or at least continued with.
Alcoholics obsession is there of course. I'm just saying this (above) has the strongest grasp on me, it would seem.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm obsessive about many things too - I used to be a lot worse.
I decided to let my obssession work for me.
I managed to turn my obsession with drinking and self destruction into an obsession with not drinking and self improvement
Then in time I learned what a healthy balance was.
It's worth a shot maybe Kys?
D
I decided to let my obssession work for me.
I managed to turn my obsession with drinking and self destruction into an obsession with not drinking and self improvement
Then in time I learned what a healthy balance was.
It's worth a shot maybe Kys?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
"Getting obsessed with sobriety"--love this. Strong and useful advice, I think. Someone here was just reminding me about all the work and energy I/we put into my/our addictive lifestyles. What if we gave sobriety this much attention?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
Good Kys. I am proud. It is Day 10 of sobriety for me..
I like Malcolsloan post. Although OCD should be treated professional he makes good point, if only we can turn obsession of not drinking but find that balance. So it becomes more of a passion than obsession.
To be honest a passion is not right words for me yet. I am fighting hard today. My brain is trying to justify just one beer.
Major tragedy happened in my hometown where priest(my priest) was brutally murdered New Year's Day.I might of just made this not so anonymous considering easy to know where I am from by telling the horrific incident. But I am fine with that. My community has all gathered together in support.
Very sad.....
I am going to post all over forums today, because I need you all to remind me to stay strong.
I like Malcolsloan post. Although OCD should be treated professional he makes good point, if only we can turn obsession of not drinking but find that balance. So it becomes more of a passion than obsession.
To be honest a passion is not right words for me yet. I am fighting hard today. My brain is trying to justify just one beer.
Major tragedy happened in my hometown where priest(my priest) was brutally murdered New Year's Day.I might of just made this not so anonymous considering easy to know where I am from by telling the horrific incident. But I am fine with that. My community has all gathered together in support.
Very sad.....
I am going to post all over forums today, because I need you all to remind me to stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
Like Dee, I've learned to use my obsessive nature to work in my favour as opposed to fighting it. I've become obsessed with "bettering" myself by reading as many self help books as I possibly can, including books on alcohol addictions and ways to overcome it. I would recommend reading books - I find it truly helps!
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
for me, the connection between OCD and drinking was magical thinking and panic. If I don't do A...the Universe as I know it will fly apart.
I wasn't willing to not do A and wait to see what happened. Because I was sure what was going to happen was that I was going to fly apart, even if the Universe didn't. That my panic over what might happen would kill me even if the worst didn't happen after all.
Learning to trust life, and to trust that even if I feel really really really scared...I won't die, and that I don't control the Universe, no matter how many times I do or don't do A...what is going to happen is going to happen. I don't magically fix or destroy things by my unrelated behaviors.
There was a huge hump of anxiety I had to get over, to prove/believe that I was not the thing that holds the Universe together, and that I could in fact survive NOT knowing the outcome of something and not trying to manipulate it. What tremendously uncomfortable time early sobriety was.
I wasn't willing to not do A and wait to see what happened. Because I was sure what was going to happen was that I was going to fly apart, even if the Universe didn't. That my panic over what might happen would kill me even if the worst didn't happen after all.
Learning to trust life, and to trust that even if I feel really really really scared...I won't die, and that I don't control the Universe, no matter how many times I do or don't do A...what is going to happen is going to happen. I don't magically fix or destroy things by my unrelated behaviors.
There was a huge hump of anxiety I had to get over, to prove/believe that I was not the thing that holds the Universe together, and that I could in fact survive NOT knowing the outcome of something and not trying to manipulate it. What tremendously uncomfortable time early sobriety was.
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