kflee

Day 8
So I guess I am a party pooper. I am going to make a birthday "boring and pointless". I am talking about my 4 year old daughters birthday. It is next week and theme was and still is Winter Luau. I am decorating entire house, renting giant pineapple bouncy, making huge feast for 45 as well as desert. Even entertainment is coming. I just got into argument with best friend and two other friends because we are not serving alcohol. Apparently they planned on and Pina coladas, daiquiri's, etc..I told them they can drink down in my barn, since I live on 17 acres, but the party did not need that. Just apple juice, mango papaya...I am still in shock. The funny thing is they know I am in recovery. They just didn't think about it they said. I am going to take a walk

suki44883

Stick to your guns. There is absolutely NO need for alcohol at a young child's birthday party. This party is for the kids, not the adults. What are they thinking?? Pffftt...

Inca

Sometimes people just don't think. Sounds exactly like something a couple of my friends would suggest. I find that some of them are still stuck on old behaviors from the past. Even if having alcohol at a kids birthday party is something you guys would have done in the past, it is YOUR birthday party to plan. Especially if they know you're not drinking now, it's a little disrespectful.

foolsgold66

You may need to get some new friends.

ReadyAndAble

I was struck the last few Halloweens by how many parents were openly drinking while escorting little kids around to trick-or-treat. I mean, that's not even a party—the whole point of being there is to keep the kids safe. I was thinking to myself, Dang, I was an addict and I still had more class than that, lol....

If you're like me, one of the most rewarding things about quitting is knowing that I'm creating a better environment for my kid. Sounds to me like you handled it really well. Listen to yourself, not your friends. If they press the issue any further, you gotta question if they're even your friends.

ronjohn

I always just made a drink so nobody could tell...

Seriously, I think it is easy for an alcoholic to lose site of what is important. We are more concerned with our buzz and not what effect it has on other people, or the example we set for our kids. Once we decide to stop we can see things in hind sight that were not that intelligent, but seemed pretty swell at the time.

ActualAlcoholic

To be honest, I think it's beyond disrespectful, considering they know you are in recovery and it's a FOUR YEAR OLD BIRTHDAY PARTY to push booze so heavily.

Also, THIS. If it's a big deal to them, couldn't they just bring and make their own cocktails discreetly? Is that a compromise that could work?

But ultimately, if that doesn't work for you, if you don't want alcohol around at all, that should be the end of the story. IMHO, it's highly unreasonable of them, or at least ignorant, to push the issue.

ReadyAtLast

I would say no alcohol at all ,It's totally not appropriate.It's your house and your child's party.Your rules.If they don't like it they can stay away

suki44883

I know I'm old, but good grief!! This is a birthday party for a four year old child!!! The entire concept of a child's birthday party is to make the CHILD and the other CHILDREN happy. To ever consider introducing alcohol is just sick, in my opinion. What is wrong with people??

Mags1

That's brilliant kflee, surely they can go without for a few hours, they have got to supervise children, after all , have a great day and the juices you are serving sound yummy x

Tang

I saw an article last year about a fist fight at a chuck e cheese. Apparently in some states that children's gaming restaurant serves alcohol and the parents of a birthday party for into a brawl.

Yes its insensitive of them knowing you are in recovery. However, it does not surprise me.

Skye2

Just think - after all the love and planning you have put into this party, it only takes one person to get drunk and ruin it for your daughter. I'm stunned by these people. As others have said, this is a 4 year olds party, not theirs Xx

ActualAlcoholic

I have to be honest... I would. But I'm a god damned alcoholic! What's their excuse??

Robertstone

They've been trained by our society that alcohol is required whenever adults get together, even if it is a party for a child. They just expect you to separate the children from the drug.

Maybe what you should do is set up a table for the alcoholics and allow them to only drink at that table. Let your guests get a bit tipsy. Then hang signs on the table that say "Monkeys" and bring the kids around, telling them that this is the drunken monkey petting zoo. Have the kids observe the behavior of the drunken monkeys and warn them of the dangers of the drug. "Now you don't want to be a drunken monkey, do you kids?!"

suki44883

If someone can't go 2 or 3 hours without a drink, then I don't necessarily want that person around my 4 year old child. I've read far too many news stories about awful things happening at a child's birthday party. People who are old enough to know better do stupid shite when they have had too much to drink.

If these folks think they're going to be bored or unhappy, then they need to stay home, where they can drink themselves stupid.

Fandy

Oops wrong thread sorry

BuddinK

Where I work we have lots of children's parties. Its amazing how many parents drink during the parties. After about an hour the mentality goes to "what kids? " Then I get to be the sitter

MeSoSober

I used to be very, very close with a couple who lived in a very nice, solidly middle class (some might consider upper middle class) neighborhood that was kind of intimate in that there were not that many houses. Every year, trick-or-treating there consisted of one of the neighbors pulling a hay wagon behind a tractor while the adults walked and drank, leaving the empties in mailboxes as they went.

I think what Robertstone said is true of an awful lot of people -- that people expect booze at any gathering of adults, even if the reason for the gathering is for the sake of a child/children. I also think that heavy-drinking or alcoholic adults tend to befriend other adults who drink the way they do.

Adults can have a lot of fun in a giant pineapple bouncy even when sober.

Nikkabean326

They should have respected your wishes instead of arguing. They may have assumed they were going to drink but once you said something they should have let go of that idea.

KateL

They sound just plain rude. Even if you didn't have probelms with drink, why would anyone condone a load of drunken adutl at a children's party. I'd tell them to take a hike .. some friends!! xxxx