He's not home, big surprise.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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He's not home, big surprise.
Ugh. I've been home this week, I had work and the kids had school. AH hasn't drank since last Sunday, but I haven't been acting like everything is fine. He swore he wouldn't be drinking, and asked me to give it a couple of months before we give notice on this house we rent. I said ok, because I could use a couple month's worth of paychecks to get a deposit/first month's rent saved up. Plus, I suppose I was really hoping he meant it about not drinking.
He had an alcohol class today (mandatory because of the DUI). He asked for a ride there, but the baby was asleep when it was time to pick him up. He texted and said he'd walk, but he was going to do a little shopping first. That was 2 1/2 hours ago, and now he's not answering his phone. Now I'm contemplating putting the boys in the car and driving the 1.5 hours to my parents', or forking out more money on a hotel. I was really hoping it would be peaceful for a few weeks at least. Of course he's not shopping. He doesn't want to be here with is, he wants to be out getting smashed and disrupting my kids' schedule. They just want to be home, not at a hotel. Why can't he stop letting me down? It's because he has zero control. He's probably been dying to drink all week and couldn't resist the urge. Ugh, I wish he could just be put of my life. It's a scary thought that I'd have to share custody with someone so irresponsible.
He had an alcohol class today (mandatory because of the DUI). He asked for a ride there, but the baby was asleep when it was time to pick him up. He texted and said he'd walk, but he was going to do a little shopping first. That was 2 1/2 hours ago, and now he's not answering his phone. Now I'm contemplating putting the boys in the car and driving the 1.5 hours to my parents', or forking out more money on a hotel. I was really hoping it would be peaceful for a few weeks at least. Of course he's not shopping. He doesn't want to be here with is, he wants to be out getting smashed and disrupting my kids' schedule. They just want to be home, not at a hotel. Why can't he stop letting me down? It's because he has zero control. He's probably been dying to drink all week and couldn't resist the urge. Ugh, I wish he could just be put of my life. It's a scary thought that I'd have to share custody with someone so irresponsible.
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Hahaha. Just called his phone and overheard what sounded like a "transaction" of drugs most likely. Then he answered and said he's "out with the lads, leave me alone you c-word." True love, huh? What a prize. What a mess. I was a pretty innocent 25-year-old when we met, now I'm a much wiser (but not wise enough apparently) 32-year-old. I'm packing our stuff. If I have to commute us back and forth for a couple weeks I will. No more of this. Can't take it anymore. I'm sick today, too. Yay.
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I packed the kids into the car with a few days worth of clothes and drove us to the beach! They're having milk and cookies and watching the muppets in a cozy motel room with an ocean view. I feel at peace even though I know things won't be easy. I'll figure it out, though. I'm kind of glad he drank this soon, in a way. He has a real problem, no denying that. I cannot trust him, and I can't sleep peacefully in a house with him, anymore. I can't worry about whether he's drinking or not. I feel sad for him but he can get help if he truly wants it. I just don't understand how it can be enjoyable getting THAT drunk, but then again, I hate alcohol with a passion now.
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He IS a jerk. I used to see so much good in him, but not anymore. Time to take the blinders off and stop making excuses for him, and just see his treatment of his family for what it truly is. I always like to say "he's a crappy husband but a good dad." No, no he's not. This is not the behavior of a responsible dad who puts his sons first.
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Originally Posted by EmmyG 
Hahaha. Just called his phone and overheard what sounded like a "transaction" of drugs most likely. Then he answered and said he's "out with the lads, leave me alone you c-word." True love, huh? What a prize. What a mess. I was a pretty innocent 25-year-old when we met, now I'm a much wiser (but not wise enough apparently) 32-year-old. I'm packing our stuff. If I have to commute us back and forth for a couple weeks I will. No more of this. Can't take it anymore. I'm sick today, too. Yay.
You are obviously under a lot of stress and being sick may be your body's way of telling you it's time for some self care. Please take loving, kind, good care of yourself.
I know you have a lot going on. But any moments you can steal to be good to yourself, speak em!
Listen to those waves and enjoy the view.
Peace.
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