Let's Change Our Thinking: Step Six: "It Must Be Awful To Be Sober"
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Let's Change Our Thinking: Step Six: "It Must Be Awful To Be Sober"
Hello, folks. Thanks for all your repsonses to my threads on what I see as the flawed thinking of addicts. We're now on the sixth example. See if it applies to you in any way and do please share your thoughts below.
Let's Change Our Thinking. Step Six: "It must be awful to be sober"
We obsess about how awful it must be to live life without alcohol or drugs. We imagine that life would be very dull and we would be missing out. We think a lot about hard it would be to stay away from drink or drugs, especially when we think about friendships we would loose or events we would miss out on. We think we would no longer live the good life again if we choose to abstain.
We forget that people who are sober can do lots of interesting and enjoyable things that we can't do when we're trapped in addiction. And we block out the happy memories of times we've had fun when we haven't been drunk or high.
****
I was talking to someone with long term sobriety this week and he said he couldn't imagine not wanting to be sober. I am not at that stage yet, so I think I have some more work to do to fix this particular type of flawed thinking in my mind.
Let's Change Our Thinking. Step Six: "It must be awful to be sober"
We obsess about how awful it must be to live life without alcohol or drugs. We imagine that life would be very dull and we would be missing out. We think a lot about hard it would be to stay away from drink or drugs, especially when we think about friendships we would loose or events we would miss out on. We think we would no longer live the good life again if we choose to abstain.
We forget that people who are sober can do lots of interesting and enjoyable things that we can't do when we're trapped in addiction. And we block out the happy memories of times we've had fun when we haven't been drunk or high.
****
I was talking to someone with long term sobriety this week and he said he couldn't imagine not wanting to be sober. I am not at that stage yet, so I think I have some more work to do to fix this particular type of flawed thinking in my mind.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,639
It does seem a long stretch without alcohol. But, as you say, sober people can do a lot of interesting and enjoyable things, which with alcohol would not be as enjoyable.
I'm taking small sober steps but remembering everything along the way, which wasn't always the case in a drunken stupor.
I'm taking small sober steps but remembering everything along the way, which wasn't always the case in a drunken stupor.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by endlesspatience 
"It must be awful to be sober"
It's so much less awful to:
- wake up in my neighbor's bushes
- come out of a blackout driving on the interstate
- pee my pants at the 7-11
- wake up under the coffee table
- wonder where that knot on my head came from
- vomit in the garage
- burn all my vacation days at work
- see the disdain in my loved one's faces
Yeah - this sobriety is just terrible compared to all that fun I was having!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
The funny thing is that sobriety doesn't really bar you from anything. (forgive the pun) You can still go to bars, dance at weddings, hang at night clubs, if you want to ~ but sobriety gives you the freedom to drive home from these events safely and legally, sobriety ensures you won't unconsciously make a fool of yourself, etc.
Sobriety = Freedom, Drinking = Slavery and Bondage
Sobriety = Freedom, Drinking = Slavery and Bondage
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
This is sort of a first step "unmanageability" exercise. Before I stopped I couldn't imagine sober life. How was I ever going to enjoy life without alcohol? Forgetting somehow that I had a perfectly good life without alcohol before I had that first one. I wasn't born with a bottle in hand. We all forget that somewhere along the way.
I can have fun sober. I do not have to be anesthetized. I don't have to do all the crazy stuff I did while drunk. Riding a bike with two flat tires to the store to buy beer because I didn't have my car? Sprawled like a sodden lump on my back porch, half passed out in the middle of a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Going through the horrible anxiety of withdrawal in the morning, only to drink again in the evening to get rid of the anxiety. Planning my life around alcohol and when I could drink. All I can say? Ick.
I can have fun sober. I do not have to be anesthetized. I don't have to do all the crazy stuff I did while drunk. Riding a bike with two flat tires to the store to buy beer because I didn't have my car? Sprawled like a sodden lump on my back porch, half passed out in the middle of a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Going through the horrible anxiety of withdrawal in the morning, only to drink again in the evening to get rid of the anxiety. Planning my life around alcohol and when I could drink. All I can say? Ick.
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
When I go to bed Sober, I enter a nice warm bed, kiss my Wife goodnight and have a great nights restful sleep. I will wake in the morning and enjoy a day off work, with my family.
When I go to bed Drinking, I will sleep on the couch, in the cold. I will wake in the morning with a dry mouth, feeling sick, intense headache and spent the day trying not to be sick, while my family have gone out, without me.
A no-brainer really. Night everyone. xxx
When I go to bed Drinking, I will sleep on the couch, in the cold. I will wake in the morning with a dry mouth, feeling sick, intense headache and spent the day trying not to be sick, while my family have gone out, without me.
A no-brainer really. Night everyone. xxx
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hanging around SR REALLY helped me get over this one.
I was sure that a sober life meant one where I was white knuckling it all the time, constantly fighting the urge to drink, and spending the rest of my life apologizing and doing penance for my addiction.
But on SR I read over and over again about sober life, freedom, relief, etc etc that I thought I must have it wrong and was willing to really give it a go.
I was sure that a sober life meant one where I was white knuckling it all the time, constantly fighting the urge to drink, and spending the rest of my life apologizing and doing penance for my addiction.
But on SR I read over and over again about sober life, freedom, relief, etc etc that I thought I must have it wrong and was willing to really give it a go.
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