Eight years at it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1
Eight years at it!
Hi,
I am new to all of this, well trying to find answers to questions that I've been hurting over for nearly 8 years now. I am in my relationship with a man (whom I'm not married to), but love to the deepest level of my soul. The first two years were wonderful and we still have wonderful times together, but the last 5 years have been hell. Just here searching for information on addiction for alcohol and what he has shown as "occasional drug use." He has openly admitted to this drug use in his younger days, but states that he quit (cold turkey) and has no problem. I feel if you quit, YOU QUIT. My father was an alcoholic, but we prayed he was drunk because he was a much more loving father during those times, so it really didn't affect us to the level of hurt I guess. With my bf, we have broken up several times over the last 5 years due to mostly out of control drinking, then verbal and 2 altercations of physical abuse, control and manipulation and I could probably name a few more addictions. I have never been an addict, nor a drinker of much but I have my faults as we all do. I never understood how women found it so hard to leave a man with these horrible conditions, until I became that woman. I have no kids with him, but I do have a grown daughter and a wonderful 11 year old son who I am trying to shelter from all of this. We broke up on Nov. 21st and I just took him back on December 22nd (still shaking my head even admitting to it). No one believes me when I say I won't take him back (not even myself). And even though I know the patterns too well on the promises...I can't seem strong enough to let him go for good. I struggle with my faith through all of this in the sense of am I making the correct decision by turning my back on him, or am I just enabling him to make even more terrible choices with his addiction. Is it my fault, or what is his motives for staying. He is from Canada, so his up bringing and surroundings are much different than mine have been since childhood. I'm sure not all Canadians are addicts. Please don't get me wrong, this is what his excuse is to me when he defends his drinking and former drug use. I feel as if I learn more on all of this, it may all make sense even though I know there is no excuse for not growing up. He's stuck at age 45, and a wanna be rock star (even tho that's not gonna happen) and living life to the fullest, but what he doesn't understand is you can have a fun time and not be messed up because I know all of this is temporary. This is what I believe. So....I just want to say hello and welcome any comments any one has to offer, bad or good. Please...I get enough judgement from my family and friends and I am just looking for answers. Cheers
I am new to all of this, well trying to find answers to questions that I've been hurting over for nearly 8 years now. I am in my relationship with a man (whom I'm not married to), but love to the deepest level of my soul. The first two years were wonderful and we still have wonderful times together, but the last 5 years have been hell. Just here searching for information on addiction for alcohol and what he has shown as "occasional drug use." He has openly admitted to this drug use in his younger days, but states that he quit (cold turkey) and has no problem. I feel if you quit, YOU QUIT. My father was an alcoholic, but we prayed he was drunk because he was a much more loving father during those times, so it really didn't affect us to the level of hurt I guess. With my bf, we have broken up several times over the last 5 years due to mostly out of control drinking, then verbal and 2 altercations of physical abuse, control and manipulation and I could probably name a few more addictions. I have never been an addict, nor a drinker of much but I have my faults as we all do. I never understood how women found it so hard to leave a man with these horrible conditions, until I became that woman. I have no kids with him, but I do have a grown daughter and a wonderful 11 year old son who I am trying to shelter from all of this. We broke up on Nov. 21st and I just took him back on December 22nd (still shaking my head even admitting to it). No one believes me when I say I won't take him back (not even myself). And even though I know the patterns too well on the promises...I can't seem strong enough to let him go for good. I struggle with my faith through all of this in the sense of am I making the correct decision by turning my back on him, or am I just enabling him to make even more terrible choices with his addiction. Is it my fault, or what is his motives for staying. He is from Canada, so his up bringing and surroundings are much different than mine have been since childhood. I'm sure not all Canadians are addicts. Please don't get me wrong, this is what his excuse is to me when he defends his drinking and former drug use. I feel as if I learn more on all of this, it may all make sense even though I know there is no excuse for not growing up. He's stuck at age 45, and a wanna be rock star (even tho that's not gonna happen) and living life to the fullest, but what he doesn't understand is you can have a fun time and not be messed up because I know all of this is temporary. This is what I believe. So....I just want to say hello and welcome any comments any one has to offer, bad or good. Please...I get enough judgement from my family and friends and I am just looking for answers. Cheers
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 100
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Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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