MidnightBlue

Hi, SR mates.

I have to share this with someone, and SR is just the place to do this.

Where to begin?

As some of you know, I am a gym rat who just loves exercising. I started it somewhat about 15 years ago, when I first saw Muscle&Fitness magazine. Having no money for gym membership I started training at home. Years later I finally managed to afford a gym. Then I changed a couple of them. About 5 years ago I bought membership to a new gym. And since I was working crazy hours, lacked motivation I decided that I was earning enough money to hire a personal trainer. And I was extremely lucky. I got just a perfect trainer! He was a true pro and a great personality. He always knew what kind of a workout I needed depending on how I felt. He made me keep a food diary and consulted on nutrition. I could call him like at 9 p.m. and whimper that I am dying for a cookie and he would always find the right words for me.

He had trained me for more three years. Then I changed location and couldn't go the that gym any longer. And about that time he decided to change his professional occupation as well. And it was just at the time when my drinking got out of control and I quit - in October 2012. Well, I somehow managed back then, in my wining days, to work out regularly and show up at 7 a.m. for a personal training. Though a few times with a hangover with a comment: "Max, I need a light workout". He used to gave me a kind of reproachful look "Got it".

Should I tell that he himself ate super-clean and rarely if ever drank alcohol?

He kept me straight and narrow and gave me that momentum I took over and hold myself now in nutrition and working out.

During this time I tried to call him once in a while but never could reach him. I wondered what happened. Sometimes I needed his advice, sometimes just needed to share something about workouts, etc.

And just on this New Year's Eve, on December 31, I got sms from him. He was wishing me a good new year, etc. I was super excited to finally to hear from him. I immediately called him, but he didn't pick up the phone. Instead kept texting me. And sms sounded somewhat strange...Then after him calling somewhat like Sunrise I realized that he was drunk (he always was super professional in his communication).

Yesterday I tried to call him again. He answered with sms saying that he was ashamed to talk to me because he was drunk.

Today he texted me again and said that he's been on drinking binge for a few days, called me again some strange names like Princess. I couldn't believe it and checked my telephone book in the old cell phone just to be sure I am talking to the right person. Max on binge? For me it was like if , say, Statue of Liberty would suddenly disappear...

It was like talking to completely different person. It's been just one year and two months since I saw him last time - almost exactly my sobriety time. And just during this time something happened to him that he is drinking to the extent when he can't even talk to me on the phone on consecutive 3 days.

I am so shocked and sad...

Sorry for the long post.

I just needed to share...

Take care of yourself, SR mates.

autan

Do you think he would listen to you ?

His AV will be working overtime this time of year.

Good luck either way.

Renarde

Really sorry to hear this. Addiction does not discriminate.

Oldselfagain

Hey Midnight thx for sharing this. This is a tough time of year for a lot of people...perhaps (and hopefully) he'll soon get back to being the guy you remember.

EverySngleNight

Well, I'm one of those strange people that believes everything happens for a reason. It sounds like Max was really there for you when you were struggling... even if it was only with cookies. ;-) It seems like he could use some support right now. You've been sober and he was honest with you about his recent drinking. Who better to reach out than you? Do you think you'd be able to check in on him, or help him get some help if he wants it? In the end, he may just need someone to talk with, who he can be honest with. Your description gives me the impression that he's a pretty "together" person. The downside to that is- he may not allow others to know/help him when he's coming apart... And we ALL need help sometimes.

MidnightBlue

Thanks, Oldselfagain.

I understand it's tough time, but still... I hope he will be himself again too. And I hope when he finally gets sober I'll talk to him and know what caused all this.

EverySngleNight- You are absolutely right here. And I am going to see him and check on him, and help if he wants it. Because I know what kind of a person he is. He is somewhat like me - super responsible, takes everything close to his heart... Maybe, at some moment something broke in him... I do hope I will be able to help him.

Mizzuno

Midnight,
I am sorry to hear this. Since you have a good amount of sobriety under you at this point in time, you may be able to help your friend. Subtle ways, by letting him know that you are here for him, and that you too battled at one time with alcohol. You may not want to share any of your struggle with him, and that is understandable. I think that quite possibly he could have been hiding his consumption from many people. 3 day benders are not really the norm, and to me they signify that a person has been at it for awhile. Extend your love and see what transpires.

MidnightBlue

Thanks, Miz.

I agree - 3 day bender is not normal. And when he was training me, we could exchange sms or calls during this "tough" times of the year - and he always was sober. And I actually shared with him that I started to drink too much. But a year a quite a time and we all know how fast is this disease to develop itself.

Mizzuno

Yes, unfortunately we do know all too well how fast this disease can take over a persons life. I really feel for all involved in this situation. I do think that your trainer or from what it sounds like to me, a friend, will pull out of this. I have got to believe in the positive. There is never a good reason to go in so deeply into alcoholism, yet we have all had our reasons and he seems to have his at the moment. I am sending the two of you love and light. I believe he will turn this around. I really do. He may need you to give him a kick in the @ss, like you have gotten on occasions with his training. That is what friends are for.

Branches

Not to sound too Ms. Fixit, but maybe letting him know you're there for him and texting him a link to this site with a note of, "When you're ready. This site helped me." You can always delete your OP about this individual if you want to keep your privacy or avoid embarrassment.

MidnightBlue

Thanks, Branches.

I think I'll try to talk to him first to find out what triggered such a drastic shift in his behavior and to understand how things stand.

KateL

It is such a shame and perhaps we can spot this decline in people better than most and empathise. I can't add to any of the great advice here. I hope your friend will be ok x

sugarbear1

Recovery begins when one alcoholic talks to another alcoholic. This has rung true for hundreds of years so far.

You could be his sober link.

Let him know about Sober Recovery. The shift in his life is really no one's business but his.

AA, Life Ring, SOS, Women for Sobriety (is there a Men for Sobriety?), Rational Recovery, AVRT and SMART all exist to help us.

You could be his saving grace.

I dare ya!!!


Love & hugs,
~SB