InvisibleFrank

I've been away in a safe place from bad influences for a month now. I'm 32 days clean and sober, it's been great and fairly easy to stay clean as I'm essentially in rehab (staying with my parents…my dad is 40 years sober). I've been away from the people, situations and bad influences surrounding my use and abuse.
I have to go back in 9 days and I'm sure I'm strong enough this time. I want to be, but I'm worried about going 'back to reality' and back into the old familiar I can't relapse, it would kill me.
I've planned things to keep me occupied and have projects to get on with but I'm going back to the house I shared with my ex and it's going to drag up a lot of emotions and feeling which I'm still working on (time will only mend these…the breakup was my decision). Any thoughts / advice or suggestions?

Thank you in advance.

least

Congrats on 32 days sober! I hope things go well for you when you get home.

Dee74

Just make sure you have a solid recovery plan Frank and maintain it

lots of support, that you use regularly, don't be hesitant to make changes in your life to help cement your recovery - people place and things y'know? - and above all don't drink/drug, ever - there's no reason good enough

I remember you're in the music biz? I was a musician too. It's a hard career choice for an alcoholic. I actually had to leave it for a while....but if you're committed to recovery you can play anywhere and do anything.

Just think out the likely scenarios you may face and how to handle them soberly.
D

bigsombrero

Congratulations! Sounds like that works for you.

Then don't go back to the "old familiar". Sure, you have to go back to your house/APT, but you don't have to go back to the rest of your familiar stuff.

You asked for advice. This is just my opinion:

- Try and stay away from the social scene. Keep things quiet. Don't try to go out with old friends to a bar and drink lemonade or sprite or any of that nonsense.

- Keep away from events where alcohol is present. Yes, that includes everything. Yes, I know.

- Stay out of the "old routine". Your brain will immediately want to get comfortable again in it's old safe place. Problem is, that was not a safe place! It's hard when your own brain is trying to trick you, but stay vigilant. This could be as simple as taking a walk around the block in a different direction.

- Have some patience and keep your expectations realistic. You can do this, but it's not going to be all rainbows and buttercups. You'll feel lonely and lost, and probably depressed.

- Live day by day. Don't make grand plans. Keep it simple. There is nothing wrong with that. Do new things. Small ones.

None of these things will last forever! You'll be fine in a while, but I think the single biggest risk we take when "released into the wild" is that we expect too much, and try to do too much, too soon. You are learning to live as a sober adult. If you were learning to swim, would you try to swim across the ocean on your 2nd day? No. Take it easy on yourself.

Good luck and congrats.

InvisibleFrank

Problem is that I work in the music business and it's impossible to stay away from those people or places, unless I give up on my dream, the dream which I have worked so hard for. I can do it though. This place helps.

Dee74

The sober stars of rock n' roll | Gigwise

InvisibleFrank

I know I can do it, just need to be strong enough to reach out when I'm feeling weak.

Dee74

I knew drinking again would kill me. I finally accepted that it's the first drink that will start that process, not the 15th.

If you can keep that uppermost in your mind, you won't lose reputation and gigs like I did being 'that drunk bass player'

I finally realised I could drink, or I could be the man I wanted to be - but I couldn't do both.

D

sugarbear1

All of those emotions are inside you, whether or not you are in a place that holds those memories. I've done it, others have done it, you can stay stopped, too!

Know that you can not indulge in drink or drugs. Know what it does and can do to you. Know it all gets worse.

Sending you love and hugs!