kpatrick

Hi, I have a question for those more experienced in recovery. When does that empty feeling leave? More importantly, what does it feel like when that emptiness finally leaves? I am on day 4 right now, I have recently been up to 21 days, but that nagging emptiness never went away.

I can only describe it as a feeling of emptiness that can only be filled by alcohol. I tend to want to go buy some alcohol because it would temporarily fill that emptiness , but I won't act on it. It will only prolong the day that my mind is free!

I would love to hear some descriptions from other's about what it's like to not obsess about alcohol.

Thanks

IWillWin

I don't have any words of wisdom about the "emptiness" but I can say the obsession was lifted for me by about 6 months. It is such a RELIEF and it comes at different times for all in recovery. But once it comes, blessed be it is nice to lose that awful burden.

I can honestly say that although I do think about alcohol everyday it is not because I want to drink it - it's because I need to remember everyday what sobriety means to me and how important it is to never forget or take it for granted.

bigsombrero

Hi kpatrick -

Yep, it goes away. In fact, a lot of us don't even think about alcohol on a daily basis much anymore. Yes, I think about being an alcoholic...but not alcohol.

It took me at least a month to even get my feet under me. Then, once you get a few months under your belt, you'll realize..."hey, I've actually got a shot here to live a sober life", and that will keep you going.

In my opinion, in these early days you need support. Big time. If you are sitting there on your couch, alone, that is going to be tough. You need AA, or something like that. Just my experience. If you want my advice I'd say find a local meeting. If you have questions about AA, ask the folks here on SR, they have lots of advice for newcomers. Good luck.

IWillWin

I echo ^^. For the first 4 months or so I attended AA on a regular basis. It was hard and I knew I would not make it without support. I'd suggest giving it a try.

MariahGayle

No words of wisdom for you KPatrick...just want you to know I'm there with you with 5 days of sobriety.......Let's just take today & be good to yourself

MidnightBlue

Hi, Patrick.

Good news - it goes away.

5 days is great but it is very early sobriety, your body and mind are recovering and straightening themselves.

I didn't use other support beside SR, but it helped me to make goals in life and gradually achieve them, making baby steps, falling, getting up, but always keeping goals on my horizon.

Though there were moments when emptiness and depression were just unbearable, and then I just used to take one day, on hour at a time, keeping faith the it will get better. And it got better. Also at such moments exercising was my sobriety and sanity savior - never failed to improve my mood and fill emptiness with warmness of better feelings.

Sobriety is a long journey where staying away from a drink is just a first step. It takes changing a lifestyle and re-discovering yourself, facing the fears and moving forward. This journey is not a piece of cake, but definitely worth it.

Keep your chin up! It is really getting better.

Keep posting.

awuh1

Here is a description of it (and the remedy) from one of the most brilliant men of the past 100 years, written to the founder of AA, Bill W.

http://www.barefootsworld.net/images/jung_letter.jpg

kpatrick

It's Great to hear that there is hope. I really do have a wonderful support system. My wife has been great with me. An added bonus is that she doesn't care to drink at all! Midnight blue, I agree with you. Exercise has always been a part of my life, too! I actually just got off the elliptical machine. I'm working on my endurance as I'm trying to nail a gymnastics move that I've been working on for quite some time. I bet it'll be way easier if alcohol is not a part of my life!
My plan is that I will use sober recovery as my support group. I also have two very good friends who are recovering alcoholics that I can rely on at any time. I'm not completely opposed to going to AA, but with my current support group, I think I'm going to be alright. It all comes down to me following through with my commitment to talk to my friends whenever I have the urge to drink, and getting on SR every single day. Or a few times a day, whatever is needed I'll do it!

kpatrick

Awuh1- very true. I will read that over and over. Thank you.

Pipping

Sounds like you have some great support around you. My best advice would be to distract yourself with activities, watching a movie or reading. Anything to take your mind off yourself. For what it's worth it took me a good two months to feel significantly better because I had an untreated underlying depression that I was masking with alcohol. Exercise will help you in so many ways. All the best.xxxxx

awuh1

You would also seem to have "chosen the second way" (though I may be mistaken).
I hope you also find that higher understanding.
All the best to you, (and hope nail that gymnastics move).

least

Give yourself at least several months sober before you expect any major changes in how you feel. Your body and brain are just now getting used to functioning without alcohol but it takes time for the brain to readjust. Be patient. It will get better if you stay sober.

KateL

Yes it definitely gets better everyday. You may have the odd off day, but on the whole it really improves xxxxx