ways to respnd to manipulation........
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 121
Just had a conversation with my counselor about how to respond to the attempt to be drawn into negative conversation. Three choices.
1. Be drawn in.
2. Totally withdraw.
Both of those are no win situations fo rme.
2. He suggested "active listening".
I hear you are saying "you don't like the way the neighbor cuts his lawn".
I hear you are saying" you are frustrated".
I often use "I'm so sorry you are going through (whatever)".
1. Be drawn in.
2. Totally withdraw.
Both of those are no win situations fo rme.
2. He suggested "active listening".
I hear you are saying "you don't like the way the neighbor cuts his lawn".
I hear you are saying" you are frustrated".
I often use "I'm so sorry you are going through (whatever)".
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Earthworm---whatever you do has to fit your personality. It might help to think of how you deal with a 4yr. old who is having a tantrum or trying to get your attention or get their way on something.
It sounds like you are basically talking about "quacking"-----one trick that a lot of people use is to imagine a large "S" on their forehead (for sick) or "Q" for quacking. this helps us to remember to just let it roll off--and, not react.
I hope some of this helps.
dandylion
It sounds like you are basically talking about "quacking"-----one trick that a lot of people use is to imagine a large "S" on their forehead (for sick) or "Q" for quacking. this helps us to remember to just let it roll off--and, not react.
I hope some of this helps.
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I normally respond with eye rolls, but I wouldn't suggest doing that, although it does get the point across. 
I strongly agree with Dandylion's advice. An active alcoholic's behavior is very similar to that of a small child. Often times redirection is very effective or continual positive reinforcement of what you want the outcome to be. Stick to your guns Earthworm, I'm sending you strength.
I strongly agree with Dandylion's advice. An active alcoholic's behavior is very similar to that of a small child. Often times redirection is very effective or continual positive reinforcement of what you want the outcome to be. Stick to your guns Earthworm, I'm sending you strength.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
Quacking oh yeah forgot about that. Quacking to keep the status quo.
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
Earthworm---whatever you do has to fit your personality. It might help to think of how you deal with a 4yr. old who is having a tantrum or trying to get your attention or get their way on something.
It sounds like you are basically talking about "quacking"-----one trick that a lot of people use is to imagine a large "S" on their forehead (for sick) or "Q" for quacking. this helps us to remember to just let it roll off--and, not react.
I hope some of this helps.
dandylion
It sounds like you are basically talking about "quacking"-----one trick that a lot of people use is to imagine a large "S" on their forehead (for sick) or "Q" for quacking. this helps us to remember to just let it roll off--and, not react.
I hope some of this helps.
dandylion
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