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It's hard not to feel like I'm missing out...

Old 12-31-2013, 07:34 PM
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It's hard not to feel like I'm missing out...

I've never really made a big deal out of New Years, but at day 10, it's still hard for me to figure out how to celebrate without alcohol. I know I don't want to go down that road and that I want to wake up tomorrow without a hangover. Just feeling lost and baking apple pie.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:38 PM
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Wait until you see/hear people talking about how ill they feel tomorrow Only thing we're missing out on, is sickness, the runs, dizziness, shaking etc etc Xx
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:43 PM
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Many of us drank/drugged for many years.
It takes a little time to learn to live sober.

Have no fear tho - you will celebrate, and feel joy, and have fun, and do and feel all those things that little voice in your head is telling you you'll never have again.

The voice is lying. I'm not

The early days require a little faith - but please do hang in there. You're doing the right thing.

D
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:43 PM
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Something I've never understood is why do people pick 1 day out of 365 to celebrate, make new intentions (usually broken).
Why not celebrate today, tomorrow and those 1 day at a time steps and pretend everyday is your new year.
Celebrating it sober will give you more chance to achieve those goals most people break within January.

I don't feel like I'm missing anything... certainly not missing the hangover!
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:48 PM
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You are not missing, Chipster, you are actually gaining: getting through tonight sober will be a huge victory, an confidence builder, contributing to the way the sober you thinks and responds to life. You will wake tomorrow with a wonderful feeling inside-accomplishment. Stay strong. Focus on your true intentions.
Onward!
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:49 PM
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Once you decide that you don't drink anymore, it's easy then to understand that YOU are not missing out. Instead, it is that whiney drunk urge that is missing out. It gets the buzz, you end up with the aftermath. Good thing is that you get to call the shots. None of that hungover dehydrated hell for the day tomorrow for you. Onward!
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:52 PM
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I am also on day 10 Chipster. The mentality that I have at this very moment is I agree with twinings.

In general, (and especially in sobriety) is there EVER a reason to "wait" till January? When you do, in my opinion, it's "fu*k it, I've already failed, so lets go all out and give up on it." Also in my opinion it takes one brave person to quit when we did. (not to discredit anyone of course as detox sucks no matter what month it is)

The holidays give everyone a reason to get trashed and make total asses out of themselves with nothing to show for it the next day. They don't have the addiction... We do. We know if we sit at a bar all night watching people get tanked, it increases the chances we will as well.

I know sky nailed it that I will not be regretting a hangover. Yes, I will stay up until 12:00 to ring in the new year, but I'll also wake up and go to the gym and get my new "high" without being dehydrated/still drunk. Oh, and I'll have the memory of my 4 month old ringing in the new year. (even if he's asleep!)
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:53 PM
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Hi chipster. I remember feeling that way the first year. I was so thankful the next day though - felt downright superior. Everyone else was in misery, but I was very perky and didn't have to recuperate from anything. You won't feel this way next year - it gets so much easier. Proud of you for staying on track!
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:53 PM
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I know that feeling well. I quit on Dec. 19, 2010, so I was in pretty much the same boat on my first New Year's. My addiction was seizing on the date to make me think I was missing all the fun. Some fun. Checking my eyes for signs of jaundice, fearing I might never quit. I remembered how the idea of going even a week without a drink seemed as far-fetched as summiting Everest.

You aren't missing anything. You are on your way to the life you deserve. That's something to celebrate, starting with how good you get to feel when you wake up on Jan. 1. You're on your way to an awesome 2014!
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Twinings View Post
Something I've never understood is why do people pick 1 day out of 365 to celebrate, make new intentions (usually broken).
Why not celebrate today, tomorrow and those 1 day at a time steps and pretend everyday is your new year.
Celebrating it sober will give you more chance to achieve those goals most people break within January.

I don't feel like I'm missing anything... certainly not missing the hangover!

There are people who actually do celebrate each day. Without the wild spending, gift-giving, ongoing family squabbles, and all the fanfare.

Their celebration shines quietly, happy in the knowledge that living life fully is the ultimate gift.
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Old 12-31-2013, 08:42 PM
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Thank you for all of the supportive words. I was never very good with the holidays and usually drank more because I was uncomfortable or felt pressured to get the approval if my family. I feel like I have a false memory of being happy drinking, when most of the time I ended up feeling angry and embarrassed. I didn't spend the holidays with my family this year, which made it a lot easier to stay sober. I have a sister who is in recovery as well, so at future gatherings we can drink soda in solidarity.

Looking forward to celebrating in 2014 without all of the unnecessary, self-inflicted suffering!
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Old 01-01-2014, 05:22 AM
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I hope you enjoyed your apple pie xxxxxx
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Old 01-01-2014, 07:54 AM
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at the risk of sounding cliche...celebrate the reasons behind the holiday. They actually MEAN something, were established and observed for a reason other than drinking. Interesting histories, traditions etc. And taking time to find that out can be fun...and gives us a chance to figure out what they mean to us. How we fit into the larger picture of life, our culture and heritage.

And you might find other days and things to celebrate as well. Things that make you feel real and connected, that ground you or set you soaring. Things that are worth pausing for and honoring.

One of the older terms for holidays was to "observe" them or to "keep" them...if the word celebrate in your life has come to mean "drink"....try on one of those other terms.

Congrats on your clean time and Happy New Year.
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Old 01-01-2014, 08:53 AM
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Happy New Year Chipster and well done on making it 11 days. This year I am celebrating having a hangover free New Year. That's what I am focussing on while those around me are getting drunk, enjoy your apple pie...baking is so therapeutic
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Old 01-01-2014, 09:56 AM
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didja stay stopped, chipster?
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Old 01-01-2014, 10:01 AM
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I understand that feeling. That being said, that feeling does go away. You just have to give sobriety a fair shake. I told myself in the beginning, "Matt, you've never really given sobriety a fair shake. Stay sober all of 2013, and reevaluate how you feel."

Well, about six months in I was sold. Now, seeing as it is 2014, I know I made the right choice. Some days, I am simply astonished at how good I feel.

I literally had a period of six weeks in Sept-Oct. 2013 that I literally did not have one bad day. And I've probably had about seven or eight bad days since then.

Do you think that would be possible if I was still drinking or using drugs? Not a chance.
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Old 01-01-2014, 10:11 AM
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All I have to say is that if you are baking APPLE PIE you are NOT LOST!!!!

YUMYUMYUM
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Old 01-01-2014, 12:11 PM
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Well, the apple pie turned out great and I rang in the new year without alcohol. I had a great night hanging with my sweetheart, who stayed sober as well. I got up and went for a ten mile bike ride and was very pleased to be one of the few not-hungover people in the grocery store. Happy New Year everyone!
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Old 01-01-2014, 12:35 PM
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I always feel like I am missing out, but I tell myself that I am gaining something deeper than the thrills of drugs and alcohol. My brain and I learn to cope. I change my very soul every day to get more comfortable with myself. I tell myself and I take action on my sobriety day in and day out and my relationships with my parents and my friends is deeper. I don't have the highest highs or the lowest lows anymore but the people in interact with generally have a positive experience with me. When I was drinking it was a hot mess....Jail...puke...hospitals...money....pain... grief...shape....Delayed gratification...
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