new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Qld
Posts: 23
new here
Hey guys. I've been lurking for a week or so and thought I'd say g'day, but also ask some advice. I used to drink 10-16 drinks a night every night (this has been steadily increasing since about 18 months ago). I recently cut down to 3 drinks a night about a week ago - seen my Dr and been given valium to help with the cut down...
I'm slowly replacing my drinking time with doing other stuff. Also going to bed earlier and getting up early and exercising, which feels great and mornings are beautiful when you are not hung over (not that I ever really got hungover, I was just maybe more .. numb?).
I've been feeling really good some of the time, and a bit weird the rest of the time, like veils were lifting slowly and I was starting to see why i was drinking. I actually told my family/boyfriend I was sick over Christmas and needed to sleep it off, because I knew I would feel the need to drink heaps to cope with the situation which I find stressful. So it was uneventful but pretty peaceful which was nice.
I've realised I have trouble processing/working through my emotions. And if I drink it kinda sweeps it under the carpet. But its a. too expensive on my health and my finances, b. is not a long term solution considering I needed to keep drinking more and more.
I only started dating my partner a few months ago. At the time I was drinking that 10-16 drinks a night and we got on soooo well. But I've noticed that since I've stopped drinking as much, I think I'm finding him a bit annoying. He isn't working at the moment and I've been managing to work full time through all this (I only drink alcohol after I've finished work if I'm supposed to be at work). Previously I used to drink from late morning, go to work anyway (DUI!!!) nearly got caught once, but that was it. In fact I used to DUI pretty much every day. I know I dodged so many bullets.
The thing I'm wondering though, is that has anyone else made 'relationships' with other people when they were drinking heaps, and then when they eliminate the masses of alcohol from the equation they no longer like the person as much as they thought they did? My partner doesn't really drink and never mentioned anything about the masses of alcohol I used to consume, he just observed that I liked drinking (he's a bit younger and a lot of friends are drinking heaps/smoking pot etc so I guess the behaviour didn't really stand out too much). I feel a. slightly confused and b. not sure if its just alcohol withdrawal emotions that are making me feel annoyed at hanging around him. I also don't really feel like seeing my family so maybe it's just the withdrawal emotions?
Also, I've no idea how to explain it to anyone.
This forum has been so helpful and I read it every day.
I'm looking forward to learning to deal with my emotions in better ways.
I'm slowly replacing my drinking time with doing other stuff. Also going to bed earlier and getting up early and exercising, which feels great and mornings are beautiful when you are not hung over (not that I ever really got hungover, I was just maybe more .. numb?).
I've been feeling really good some of the time, and a bit weird the rest of the time, like veils were lifting slowly and I was starting to see why i was drinking. I actually told my family/boyfriend I was sick over Christmas and needed to sleep it off, because I knew I would feel the need to drink heaps to cope with the situation which I find stressful. So it was uneventful but pretty peaceful which was nice.
I've realised I have trouble processing/working through my emotions. And if I drink it kinda sweeps it under the carpet. But its a. too expensive on my health and my finances, b. is not a long term solution considering I needed to keep drinking more and more.
I only started dating my partner a few months ago. At the time I was drinking that 10-16 drinks a night and we got on soooo well. But I've noticed that since I've stopped drinking as much, I think I'm finding him a bit annoying. He isn't working at the moment and I've been managing to work full time through all this (I only drink alcohol after I've finished work if I'm supposed to be at work). Previously I used to drink from late morning, go to work anyway (DUI!!!) nearly got caught once, but that was it. In fact I used to DUI pretty much every day. I know I dodged so many bullets.
The thing I'm wondering though, is that has anyone else made 'relationships' with other people when they were drinking heaps, and then when they eliminate the masses of alcohol from the equation they no longer like the person as much as they thought they did? My partner doesn't really drink and never mentioned anything about the masses of alcohol I used to consume, he just observed that I liked drinking (he's a bit younger and a lot of friends are drinking heaps/smoking pot etc so I guess the behaviour didn't really stand out too much). I feel a. slightly confused and b. not sure if its just alcohol withdrawal emotions that are making me feel annoyed at hanging around him. I also don't really feel like seeing my family so maybe it's just the withdrawal emotions?
Also, I've no idea how to explain it to anyone.
This forum has been so helpful and I read it every day.
I'm looking forward to learning to deal with my emotions in better ways.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome to SR peacefulfreedom! I'm glad you've made this important change in your life. 
Regarding your partner, I haven't had that happen - but I can sure understand how it could. Drinking changes my personality drastically - and my perception of things. Once the withdrawal is over it'll become clear what's going on. I was annoyed with everyone early on too - it's a huge adjustment you're making. Glad you are here to talk it over.
Regarding your partner, I haven't had that happen - but I can sure understand how it could. Drinking changes my personality drastically - and my perception of things. Once the withdrawal is over it'll become clear what's going on. I was annoyed with everyone early on too - it's a huge adjustment you're making. Glad you are here to talk it over.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Your true self is coming back to the surface. It's normal also that you feel the need to regroup and concentrate all your energy on sobriety.
Be selfish, once in your life to save it. Just my 50 cents ;-)
Be selfish, once in your life to save it. Just my 50 cents ;-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Qld
Posts: 23
Thanks guys... I never thought of it as my 'true self' coming to the surface. It feels as if I was living in a fog, separate from everything, including myself.. ? Even when I was drinking by myself which I did most of the time, I was still not there... I think I am someone I have drowned for so long because I am not the most conventional person or I lack self acceptance..... With one addiction and then the next... maybe if I stop drowning it out and let it free it will be happier.... I feel like I'm floundering around like a newborn puppy that has only just opened its eyes and ears to the world, kind of defenseless ? I don't know... again thanks guys so so much.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
When you stop drinking it takes a while to adjust to being in the world without the filter of alcohol. It's normal for r'ships to feel weird and to do things sober for the first time.
When you take the mind altering effects of that much alcohol out of any equation, whether it's just your regular life or a relationship, things are going to feel different.
If it was easy to just 'be' in the world without alcohol or drugs, none of us would be addicts/alcoholics.
When you take the mind altering effects of that much alcohol out of any equation, whether it's just your regular life or a relationship, things are going to feel different.
If it was easy to just 'be' in the world without alcohol or drugs, none of us would be addicts/alcoholics.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Your true self does come back to the surface but that can take some time. In my experience, what came back to the surface when I had first quit was a version of me with horrendous PMT, y'know, quick to anger, bursting into tears over nothing... it wasn't me exactly. The fallout from drinking heavily can play havoc with our emotions and can take a while to settle. But I reckon your partner will seem a lot less annoying in a few months 
x
x
to the family.
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