hopeful4

So...all day I knew AH would drink. I have to get him out of my life. He got off work early and bought a beer. One beer you say? Yes, that he drinks while taking Xanax. He then lied about it. I only even asked to have it in a text so I can print it off to prove it.

So...after literally forcing him to own up to it, he goes on with some BS and then tells me MY ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY IS FOOLISH!

Enough...just enough. I will get out of this crap relationship one way or another. The good thing, I have it all in a text that I have printed off to give to my attorney. Bring it.

deramam

Your zero tolerance policy is not foolish.
One only leads to another and so on.

Katchie

You go girl!!!
I found at at lunch my AH is still taking that also but swore to me today only when he's not drinking. Now, how long does that fudge stay in your system???

JustAGirl1971

I'm sorry, hopeful I'm right there with you. Mine 'informed' me that he bought an 8 pack of beer & a bottle of wine for NYE... for himself. The worst part is he's 2 in and is actually funnier, happier, NICER than he's been in weeks Of course that will only last for a couple more. Like you, I'm counting the days...

Hugs. I hope you & your girls have a good evening regardless!

Booo

I could scream for you hopeful4 I am so so sorry. God do I hate this disease.

hopeful4

And now im being bitchy because i dont want to socialize w him...what an idiot

Hopeworks

You are not supposed to mix zanax (benzodiazipines) with alcohol as the drug works on the exact same part as the brain as alcohol... mix benzos and alcohol is like tripling the effect of the alcohol. My XA used to mix both the benzos and alcohol and have insane blackout binges that usually ended in catastrophe for him (and for me until I exited stage left).

You are right to be concerned as a fondness for this cocktail can be deadly... that is why they warn not to consume alcohol on the med label.

hopeful4

Yup...thats why we have paid $16k in restution....because of that little mix. Im done

MissFixit

so, what about that loan from your parents going to getting you out/him out rather than his self inflicted mess?

hopeful4

MissFixIt...it has already been paid to the courts. However, my parents would help me at the drop of a hat. I am just trying to do some things on my own. We had a very long talk last night. Honestly worried about AH being suicidal. Anyone else have these worries? I may be mad but he is the father of my children. I don't love him but I do not wish him harm and certainly am worried about all of this. I just don't know.

MissFixit

i feel for you. about him or anyone being suicidal. that's hard. my mother has been suicidal my entire life. she attempted suicide numerous times. 30 years ago we all used to react each time with horror and crying and trying to help her. therapy, psychiatric institution, group therapy, none of it worked' as she still attempted. none of her attempts were successful but throughout the decades i/we learned to detach in order to preserve our own sanity. if an adult has been given help and continues their self destructive mode, there is nothing that we can do short of committing them...and even that didn't work in our case as she made attempts after she was out.

for ME, therapy and focus on myself rather than those i cannot control has been the ONLY way to go.

MissFixit

btw, on a business note, if ah was to follow through with what i assume he was threatening, are there any of his debts that fall to you? if so, is there a way to protect yourself financially from that?

hopeful4

The only real debts we have are together. Our house and student loans. Our house we are both on the deed. Our loans are on a spousal consolidation loan. Stupid move, but one made years ago. I do have extra life insurance in place, that is about all I can do at this point.

He is going through a hard time right now, so I know that compounds everything, hence his reason to drink. I am just going to stay on my side of the street for a couple of months when it is a better time frame. I am going to speak with his sister so she knows what is going on. I am sure she does anyways, they are very close. I just want to voice my fears to her. That is all I can do for him.

Thank you for reading and the replies, it helps to hear from someone who understands.

MissFixit

also, my dad put me in therapy when i was a kid to try to counteract whatever mental/emotional damage their divorce and her mental issues caused me. i didn't want to go much of the time, but i am still alive and reasonably sane, so perhaps it helped. for any kid with a parent who is like that, i strongly recommend therapy, even if the kid doesn't want it at the time.

hopeful4

O yes, I already called the therapist and let him know I will be needing an appointment as well as my kids in the near future. My older daughter has already went to therapy for other unrelated reasons last year for a few months, it did help her work through a difficult time. I am the poster child for therapy, I feel every human being could benefit LOL!

JustAGirl1971

I'm sorry, hopeful You might want to check your life insurance to see if it has a suicide clause. Not that you can change anything, but I'm a planner... Talking to his sister is a good idea, too. I have no practical advice, just hugs! Hang in there.

FireSprite

Sending you (((BIG HUGS))) & prayers because I have no experience or great advice with this. Hang in there!!

OnawaMiniya

Oh dear God do I hate hearing that crap.....

I understand...

Peace.

hopeful4

Thank you all for listening. It is a difficult situation but one I will get through.

Booo

I will never understand comments like that "bitchy" good god, like you are supposed to drop everything, remember nothing and have a great time. Many hugs.