malcolmsloan

So I just got a text asking to meet up with some old friends at a local brewery later tonight. Hmmm...A few of these guys I have not seen in many years. I actually want to see them. I really do not want to drink-at all-feeeling steadfast in this. I think I'm going to go. I had a big dinner-not hungry. I am driving myself-I have an easy escape. I know what I'm going to order(cranberry juice0-won't be caught off guard. I am going to the gym early in the morning-vision for tomorrow. Any suggestions?

foolsgold66

Maybe let 'em know you can only stay an hour when you walk in. I think you got this malcolm, but be careful.

Oh, do you know what you are going to say if asked why no beer?

mecanix

All sounds good apart from that bit .

I'd call it off and invite them out for a meal or bowling in a few weeks time , somewhere where the focus isn't drinking . I am kinda precious about my sobriety though and no old friend i haven't seen in ages is gonna put me in any situation where i even feel it's an issue .

Looking back on it all my old friends were all old drunks or pot smokers though and i grow very weary of people like thats company now , i'd rather have fond memories of how they were to me then than trying to breath life once again into what was .

Lots of fun things to do in the world which are not sat in a brewery or round a fellow potheads house crashed on their sofa .

Like i say that's just me though , be true to yourself and your motivation for being there , thats what i do . If it's gonna be a drunk fest i'd avoid it, if they were the ones who always had two or three pints whilst i had 14 maybe i'd think about saying hello briefly , hitting them with an excuse to leave the moment i got there as an escape plan … feeding and taking a neighbours dog for a walk whilst they are on holiday or something ..

bestwishes, m

Venecia

Like FG, I think you've got this, Malcolm. But ditto: be careful. Old friends often are old drinking buddies, especially for guys. (Of course, we women can toss 'em back, too.) And there is the adage we see occasionally here on SR -- spend time in a barber shop, you're gonna get your hair cut sooner or later.

How 'bout setting the alarm on your mobile to buzz at one hour after you get to the brewery. When the mobile buzzes, it's time to go home. It will be nice to see your friends, but nothing is worth imperiling your sobriety.

You can do this.

Dee74

I wouldn't go near a brewery if you paid me. People only do one thing there - it's not for me.

take a look at this link malcolm - have you got the basics covered?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...trategies.html
D

malcolmsloan

Thanks guys, and thanks for the link, Dee. I feel fine. These guys were never the ones I used to go big with. I get my own drink (so no one can "get me one"), sit and catch up for a bit and take off. If anyone asks, I say no. If anyone gives me s!@#, I'll smash a pint on his forehead, throw a chair, and sneak out the back as the scrum ensues. . In all seriousness, if someone asks, I say "no," and that's my final answer Regis.
-Malcolm

ScottFromWI

Best of luck. You asked for suggestions and I'd also personally suggest scheduling another type of meeting with them at a location/time that isn't so centered on drinking. Think about it for a minute...even if you didn't "go big" with them you are meeting at a brewery based on a text message.....do they know you are trying to stay sober?

malcolmsloan

back home at 9:35. No issues. Yeah, I have a problem with alcohol. I can't drink. Period. If I plant that firm in my mind and work to maintain it, it is my hope that I can enjoy my life again, and the people in it. Thanks again for the suggestions, folks. I feel like you guys care and that makes a lot of difference. Onward!

FreeFall

Malcolm, I'm glad you were able to see your friends and return home without a hitch. When I first quit I felt I had to be able to go out to my normal places to see friends so I wouldn't be giving up my entire social life. Now, after almost a year and a half sober, I find I can only stay at the bar for a very limited time, and really don't like being around drinkers. It just feels like a waste of time and the conversations aren't funny if you're not drinking. I make myself go once in awhile, but now I call my friends instead, and try to do different things. I think everyone has an idea of what they can handle, just be careful because the AV can be reallllllly persuasive.

Dee74

glad you had a good night with no trouble Malcolm

KateL

Just be vigilant x

malcolmsloan

I'm truly touched at the concern that some of you suggest/state. We all only know each other here online, but there is ineed a sense of care about each other. We all want to help eachother. Online or not, you just don't get that too much in this world today. You guys mean a lot to me.