Today...Saturday, December 28, 2013
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 36
Today...Saturday, December 28, 2013
Today...I acknowledge that the telephone has been used as a tool to control me and that I have also used the phone to attempt to control, to "remind" my RNAH that I'm here, I'm home, I'm waiting for him. Today...though my fingers are itching to dial his number...I won't call. I cannot control the fact that he is with his married girlfriend. I cannot control the fact that not using does not really mean "recovery". I cannot control his perceptions or actions. I CAN focus on healthy behaviors for myself. It sucks and it hurts, but I have to look forward and ahead to my destination - a healthy life.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
"cannot control" says it all.
It takes a great deal of maturity to stop trying to force outcomes.
Instead, we can choose to trust that if something we want is being denied, then perhaps we don't know what is best for us... but our higher power does.
Sometimes what we want could have proven to be a terrible disaster, had we gotten it.
So great to watch your recovery lighting up.
It takes a great deal of maturity to stop trying to force outcomes.
Instead, we can choose to trust that if something we want is being denied, then perhaps we don't know what is best for us... but our higher power does.
Sometimes what we want could have proven to be a terrible disaster, had we gotten it.
So great to watch your recovery lighting up.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
You are going through a very tough situation. Your emotions will be all over the place. Give yourself a lot of love and do things that will make you feel good. Be gentle with yourself and focus on what will make you happy. Not always easy but keeping the focus on yourself and what you can control will help a great deal. Hugs.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 36
My fingers were itching to dial. But I didn't. Spent some time on the phone with some good friends, allbeit far away. Crawled into be with my youngest to watch food shows. Didn't dial. Answered the question, "Where is Dad and when is he coming home?", with "I'm not sure, dear. Let's watch this cupcake show..." Didn't dial. Received a call at 9:30 - did we need anything, milk?, bread? and "I'll be home soon."
No crazymaking last night.
I proved to myself that I am at least strong enough to NOT. DIAL.
It's the small steps...
No crazymaking last night.
I proved to myself that I am at least strong enough to NOT. DIAL.
It's the small steps...
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