Josafe

Hi all

I'm on day 6 sober

I am feeling great and I really do not crave alcohol. I see that I used to drink to be carefree and socialize. This was fun!

Somewhere along the line I started to use alcohol to get over upsetting experiences, relationships and now anxiety to create a warm blanket or an imaginary bubble to protect myself.

Now I don't even think about drinking because I accept that I am human and I must forgive myself. I have no intention to drink until I manage my emotional state. Even if this means a few years. One thing is for sure...that is I certainly need to stay away from spirits because they seem to really alter my brain chemistry and make me upset, scared, anxious, and apologize.

How any one else managed to drink again but in moderation?

lorelei

An alcoholic cannot drink in moderation. If we could, we would not be here x

Josafe

Am I an alcoholic ?

Thepatman

Lorelei is right. And only you can determine if you are one

KateL

I don't like labels but if your drinking concerns you then I would say there is some issue here. I used to think I would lay off for a while ad save drinking for special occasions when my head was in a good place etc. But that just changed the pattern slightly and turned me into a binge drinker.

lorelei

Jo, if u r using drink to cope, its not a great sign... when alcohol is a crutch, our whole being is broken xx

Hevyn

Hi Jo. Congratulations on your 6 days.

Your drinking pattern was the same as mine. Because I didn't stop when I saw the warning signs (like you have) I ended up completely dependent on it. I was drinking all day in the end. I know I can never be a social drinker - I crossed the line into alcoholic drinking long ago. I'm glad you are here to talk this over - it helps so much to have others who understand.

Josafe

OK very good points. I stopped drinking because I didn't know any different over time and then I drank because it made me feel euphoric.

Then drinking made me feel upset, sad, apologetic, worthless and anxious. I managed to work out that vodka made this happen the most.

I'm in a good state of mind at the moment and really do not crave any alcohol whatsoever. I didn't drink for Xmas and I wont be drinking at Near Years.

When I consider a few beers I picture it as OK. When I think of Vodka I feel out of control. Does this make sense?

PurpleKnight

I'm in the all or nothing category Josafe, I drink to get drunk, I can't have 1 pint or 1 dram of whisky, to me there's no real point in even doing that, I need to drink the bottle!!

I do agree that getting drunk on spirits is different compared to being drunk on beer (though not any better), I put that down to the alcohol content being stronger and so blood alcohol ratio increases at a much faster pace, sometimes to dangerous levels! But regardless of the choice of drink I would still drink until blackout drunk.

Great job on 6 days sober though!!

Thepatman

The active ingredient is still Alcohol. If you are like me, I would just pound more beers to get my buzz. Is it the buzz you are searching? If yes, then you have your answer I think. It's called running away from reality, numbing feelings, etc. ever wondered how you would survive stranded on a deserted island without booze? Would it be ok and would you be happy without?

But again, only you can say if you are or not.

Dee74

I once thought if I identified the underlying reasons why I drank and worked on them, I wouldn't need to drink so much.

Turns out I was wrong - I'd also become an alcoholic.

Beer wine or spirits it didn't matter. Alcohol was still toxic to me, and turned me into someone I didn't want to be..

I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not josafe but you seem to have a problem not drinking, and staying stopped, just like I did.

Maybe there's more than just underlying reasons going on with you too?

D

least

Whether or not I'm an alcoholic or just a person whose life was being ruled by alcohol doesn't matter. I just know I can't ever drink again. And that's ok with me.

PurpleKnight

Yeah, I definitely don't want to give the impression that beer is in any way better, or best for moderation!! . . . chugging 10 pints of Guinness in a night had exactly the same effect as a bottle of Whisky!! . . . I would still black out into bed!!

Anna

The label is not important, but it's what happens to you when you drink. Alcohol changed me into a person who was out of control and horrible. I know it doesn't matter what kind of alcohol it is, and I know I will never be able to drink again. I'm happy to be where I am today.

Josafe

This is why I love you guys. Good, honest and open talking. No games, tricks or sugar coating.

I will admit that Thepatman makes a good point. I think if I was stranded on an Island I would be looking for Malibu.

I do have a problem.
I was drinking til the bottle was gone.
I was drinking to create another happy world.
I was drinking to deal with pain.
I was drinking to socialise.
I was drinking to be lively.
I was drinking to be someone that my friends told me I wasnt.
I was drinking to deal with the guilt or apologize for the things I said or could not change or fix.

I was drinking because my life is not where I want it to be and I didn't know how to fix/change it.

Josafe

Thought I would share:
Do you have a problem with alcohol

29/12/2013: 1am GMT

Your score is 80%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than half of these questions Yes you should definitely seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional as soon as possible.

Thepatman

Josafe, what's good about your approach is that your analyzing, looking at all angles, rationalizing things, and using logic.

I smell sobriety in the air... ;-)

PurpleKnight

Thepatman read my mind . . . Josafe quitting for good in my opinion would solve all of those problems!!

When I started to obsess every day about how much I was drinking, could I moderate, how much alcohol did I drink last night, last week, last month, I was consumed with these thoughts!! . . . I knew I had a drinking problem and needed to change!!