THANK YOU, EVERYONE ... and gaslighting

Old 12-28-2013, 10:55 AM
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THANK YOU, EVERYONE ... and gaslighting

I want to thank everyone here who replied to my "Confused and Broken-hearted" post of last night. I am so so saddened by the sheer numbers of people who are going through EXACTLY what I am going through, but you know what? There are folks here who have ALREADY gone THROUGH it and come out the other side.

THIS GIVES ME HOPE! Hope that I had given up on ever having. Hope that I am going to need to get through this.

I am so grateful that there is this kind of support available for those of us struggling with just staying alive through the emotional quagmire that we allow ourselves to be dragged through, and sometimes left in.

A friend sent me this link. While it doesn't address gaslighting with regard to an addict, it still is spot-on.

Since I'm so new here, the board won't let me post the link. Google "10 signs your man is gaslighting you" and read the article. When I first read it, I sat at my computer, crying and shaking my head. My teenage daughter came through the room and sat next to me on the couch. She read the piece and hugged me. "Oh, my God, mom...this is exactly what Dad does to you!"

Again, thanks to all of you who struggle as I am. You're giving us HOPE!
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:13 AM
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It's good that your daughter recognizes this, too. It's also sad that she has to recognize this. I'm sure her support will help you in your struggle to get free. Having someone in real life that can support you is always beneficial.
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:42 AM
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Here is the link for the site:

Glad you are here CJ and please keep posting

10 Signs Your Man Is 'Gaslighting' You to Make You Seem Crazy | The Stir
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:08 PM
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So you have awakened to the game, CJ.
(Good for you)
The next move is to apply what you've learned.

'Ya gotta love the male phrase "The bit*h is CRAZY!"

translation:

I'm worried.She is beginning to see through my
bullcrap & low performance BS.

Damn, this is a problem! Has she put any weight on since puberty?

Good! Call her 'fat'!

Did she have any aspirations of higher learning?

Good! Call her 'stupid'!

Has her kid(s) any shortcomings,real or imagined?

Good! Call her a bad Mom!

((((((((All that fails? Call her a CRAZY BIT*H!))))))))))

Anything, absolutely ANYTHING...go nuclear if you have to----
to get the focus off of YOUR shortcomings.

That's the game. That's the truth. Please don't ask WHY they do it.
You KNOW why they do it......to CONTROL you.

They're counting on the [hope] that you don't have the courage to
recognize this.

We're counting on the [fact] that you DO.
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:11 PM
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(((((Big Hugs!)))))
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Old 12-28-2013, 01:12 PM
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Below is a link to a thread on gaslighting from a while ago.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...addiction.html

It's a powerful tactic of manipulation. The best defense is acknowledging it is happening and take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 12-28-2013, 02:30 PM
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Try googling "Stockholm Syndrome", too. It often goes along with gaslighting.

There is a guy who is a narcissist himself, and being unable to recover, he makes amends by doing videos about how narcissists think and act. Google Sam Vaknin and narcissism if you want to see his slant on things. I found it shockingly accurate.

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