DJSid

This past week has been a very difficult one, I know it's for the best though. I know I will look back on this and laugh at it one day. I have been dealing with the emotional roller coaster and crazy dreams. I have been having allot of memories that are coming back, some good and some not so much. Yesterday in the morning I was feeling really good. I went to work, came home and went to the gym for almost two hours, made some dinner and started to relax. All of the sudden I started to feel really bad. I felt depressed, irritable and had a really bad attitude. I started trying to convince myself that I would feel better if I went and got some booze. I was trying to do other things to keep my mind off of it but the obsessing was a bit overwhelming. Finally I decided to walk to a meeting instead of walking to the liquor store. I know I like going to meeting because there is always someone there that I can relate to. The person that led the meeting was talking about how he started drinking when was 11 or 12 and didn't get sober until he was 38. Here I am where I started at the same age and Im sitting in this meeting at 38 years old trying to get and stay sober. I think my higher power was watching over me and this wasn't a coincidence. I have always hated talking in front of groups of people, as long as I can remember. Whenever I leave meetings Im going over in my head on the way home what I should have shared in the room. After allot of people shared their experiences as they related to the topic at hand there was a silence. I decided I need to get some things off my chest or I will not have any relief from this obsessive dark funk Im in right now. My heart was racing but I shared how I could relate to the leaders story and how much the meeting and all of the shares kept me from drinking. For those that haven't gone I can't recommend meetings enough. After the meeting I talked to a few people with a few years of sobriety under their belts. We exchanged numbers and have plans to get together today and all meet up for a meeting. I felt 1000X better on the walk home. I am so grateful there are communities like SR and AA to help fellow alcoholics and I through these tough times!

HenryKrinkle

Outstanding DJSid! So happy that you were able to find solace today.

suki44883

(((HUGS)))

PurpleKnight

The first week is the worst, mood swings, tiredness etc . . . keep pushing through, your doing great!!

suki44883

Some things last longer than a week. My emotions were crazy for a couple of months. I would cry at the drop of a hat. Fogginess in my brain was around for about that long, too and the insomnia lasted several weeks. It took us a long time to do damage to ourselves and it's going to take more than a week or two to recovery. It's different for everyone and a lot of it depends on how long you drank and whether or not this is your first attempt at recovery. They get harder each time.

Keep pushing through. Each step you take and each day you stay sober is one more step toward freedom. (((HUGS)))

KateL