ghost99

My wife is gone again. She has left us(me and our 3 kids) again to see her "boyfriend". She was gone Christmas morning, came back, and then left again today. This was particularly cruel and shocking because it's CHRISTMAS and she convinced me yesterday that he was not in town and she was no longer interested in seeing him. She has done this a weekend at a time 2 other times the past couple of months. She's a alcoholic in recovery/former drug addict (with the occasional binge). I say this because I am not 100 percent sure if her motivation is to binge away from me and the kids or if she has found what she thinks is love and is clean. Does it matter? Probably not but either way I am devastated. I don't know why, I should just let go. I am finding it hard though because I still love her. I know I am weak. I need to detach but the pain is deep. Since she has quit drinking (or i guess it's better to say when she is not binging), I am too blame for all her transgressions.

Ritual

I'm so sorry

I can't advise you, and it'd probably be bad advice because I am raw over my AGF right now too, but you and those poor kids do not deserve this. And despite what you think, you did not cause it either.

MInd you, if I WERE offering advice, it'd probably be to change the locks while she's gone and not let her back into your life until she's decided what she wants :/

BoxinRotz

So sorry ghost. It's terrible what's she's doing to you and the kids. I know if I'd check out like that, my husband would not tolerate such disrespect and I wouldn't either.

Letting go when that love is still there makes it hurt to the core. All I can tell you is to just live one day at a time. While you're doing that, think about what you truly desire in life and in a partner. I know it's not someone who hits the exit every weekend or so, especially on a very special holiday like Christmas.

Your trust is obviously broken, along with your heart. Take care of yourself and the kids. You and the kids deserve to be in a stable home without this painful disruption from her. I hope they're holding up. I'm sure you've got it under control. Just one day at a time.

AnvilheadII

she didn't just leave YOU.....she walked off on THREE children. that's a despicable act. unforgiveable. you don't ditch your kids so you can go party it up like a rock star. children are a choice, a decision, a commitment.

time to be done, me thinks. you and the kids. that should be your focus. BE the dad. be the one loving caring parent who will never abandon them for selfish pursuits. make sure they have happy healthy lives in a safe secure environment.

Misc72

DETACH is the magical word here. Detach with love. Love for her, love for yourself and most of all love for your children. It is so much more painful for the children when you are still hanging on to something that is gone... It would be more stable for them if you cut it off with her. Easier said than done. But at least there won't be this utter disappointment. And you will be living life on your terms, NOT hers.