First Post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 286
First Post
Hi there,
I've been reading this forum since Sunday, which was my Day 1. What an incredible resource this place is. What strikes me most is how I keep reading things I could have written. I always thought I was the only one being so sneaky and secretive about drinking but obviously I wasn't. Even though I'd never wish it one anyone, it does make me feel so much better to know I'm not alone in this battle.
One of my struggles right now is who to tell. As you can imagine, most people I am friends with and see socially are big drinkers. When we are out and about, no one ever chooses not to drink. I saw a small group of people on Monday (day 2) and couldn't bring myself to say I quit drinking so I ended up saying I am on a medication that doesn't mix with alcohol (which is actually true, I'm on bloodthinners -- but it's never stopped me from drinking before). They all accepted that and nothing more was said but if they knew I'd decided to quit drinking altogether, it would be really strange. I have to be okay with just not seeing a lot of those people anymore.
I haven't told my parents (one of whom is a functioning alcoholic) and I've only told two friends and my ex-husband. I had to tell him because I had a horrible night where my kids saw me very drunk (my rock bottom), told him and he immediately threatened action if I didn't stop drinking. Which was fine because when I woke up that morning I'd already made the choice. His threat gives me accountability, as does knowing they're becoming old enough to have awareness and to remember things that happen to them now.
My other question is how to go about my recovery. I don't have a plan though I do know that will power is never going to be enough. I'm trying to decide between an outpatient thing (which I understand usually includes AA) or just AA. And here. I love coming here and can see why it is such a help to so many of you. I'm happy I came across this place.
I'm all over the place in this post but I am very relieved to have finally decided to quit drinking. It's so exhausting to live that other life, to keep up with all the lies and secrets, to try to piece together nights I can barely remember, to try to fake it in the morning when I'm so hungover. It was just making me so . . . tired. And sad. And ashamed. God, the guilt is so, so awful. Like a huge monster always looming over me. I feel like every moment that has passed since Sunday is a moment closer I am to a new life of clarity and honesty and real moments that I will remember. It makes me able to exhale and feel hopeful again.
Okay, enough rambling for now. Thanks for listening.
I've been reading this forum since Sunday, which was my Day 1. What an incredible resource this place is. What strikes me most is how I keep reading things I could have written. I always thought I was the only one being so sneaky and secretive about drinking but obviously I wasn't. Even though I'd never wish it one anyone, it does make me feel so much better to know I'm not alone in this battle.
One of my struggles right now is who to tell. As you can imagine, most people I am friends with and see socially are big drinkers. When we are out and about, no one ever chooses not to drink. I saw a small group of people on Monday (day 2) and couldn't bring myself to say I quit drinking so I ended up saying I am on a medication that doesn't mix with alcohol (which is actually true, I'm on bloodthinners -- but it's never stopped me from drinking before). They all accepted that and nothing more was said but if they knew I'd decided to quit drinking altogether, it would be really strange. I have to be okay with just not seeing a lot of those people anymore.
I haven't told my parents (one of whom is a functioning alcoholic) and I've only told two friends and my ex-husband. I had to tell him because I had a horrible night where my kids saw me very drunk (my rock bottom), told him and he immediately threatened action if I didn't stop drinking. Which was fine because when I woke up that morning I'd already made the choice. His threat gives me accountability, as does knowing they're becoming old enough to have awareness and to remember things that happen to them now.
My other question is how to go about my recovery. I don't have a plan though I do know that will power is never going to be enough. I'm trying to decide between an outpatient thing (which I understand usually includes AA) or just AA. And here. I love coming here and can see why it is such a help to so many of you. I'm happy I came across this place.
I'm all over the place in this post but I am very relieved to have finally decided to quit drinking. It's so exhausting to live that other life, to keep up with all the lies and secrets, to try to piece together nights I can barely remember, to try to fake it in the morning when I'm so hungover. It was just making me so . . . tired. And sad. And ashamed. God, the guilt is so, so awful. Like a huge monster always looming over me. I feel like every moment that has passed since Sunday is a moment closer I am to a new life of clarity and honesty and real moments that I will remember. It makes me able to exhale and feel hopeful again.
Okay, enough rambling for now. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Welcome. I have never been sorry I quit drinking but have been very sorry for my drinking. I love being sober, and this place helps me stay that way. I am so thankful I am here. I know if you want to quit, you can. It is not always easy, but it is rewarding. I am proud of you for the choice you have made. Congratulations on choosing a sober life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Allentown, PA
Posts: 51
Hi, the beginning is hard but it's worth it. It does get better. Slow and easy. Don't beat yourself on the past, just fix your future. Keep your mind occupied on things you enjoy. Stay strong and smile.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Hi, 122213. I discovered SR 4 months ago, after having been an 8-drink-per-day alcoholic for 20+ years. I had never before seriously tried to quit drinking. (Thus my screen name) But thanks to the kind and helpful people here, I have not had a drink since the day I joined SR. Like you, shame and anxiety were my constant companions. Since I stopped drinking, they are much less common. It is probably the thing about sobriety that I am most grateful for. It is such a relief.
You and I have placed ourselves in a bit of a tight spot by our choice of screen names, haven't we? There have been times during the past 4 months that I have been tempted to drink. But then I realized I would have to change my screen name from firstymer to secondtymer which, to me, doesn't have the same ring to it. So, unless we want to go messing with a good screen name, we should try to get this sobriety thing right. Right?
Anyway, welcome to SR. I am glad you are here with us.
You and I have placed ourselves in a bit of a tight spot by our choice of screen names, haven't we? There have been times during the past 4 months that I have been tempted to drink. But then I realized I would have to change my screen name from firstymer to secondtymer which, to me, doesn't have the same ring to it. So, unless we want to go messing with a good screen name, we should try to get this sobriety thing right. Right?
Anyway, welcome to SR. I am glad you are here with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 286
Yes, firstymer, I had that exact same thought -- that if I slip, I'll have to change my user name. It's that balance between getting through just today but also having accountability for the days to come that can be both terrifying to me and also so freeing.
Congratulations on your four months. Amazing. Thank you for your kind welcome.
Congratulations on your four months. Amazing. Thank you for your kind welcome.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It's a great place, I personally don't go to AA or any support group, but I'm online checking out SR numerous times a day.
The main thing though is having a plan, a strategy to fill the times when we would usually be drinking with an alternative, changing your whole lifestyle to something different to avoid the temptation of alcohol, and planning in advance how to react when alcohol inevitably does raise it's head as it can't be permanently avoided due to the society we live in.
Accountability and support will be the key factors in remaining sober! I wish you all the best in your sobriety!
The main thing though is having a plan, a strategy to fill the times when we would usually be drinking with an alternative, changing your whole lifestyle to something different to avoid the temptation of alcohol, and planning in advance how to react when alcohol inevitably does raise it's head as it can't be permanently avoided due to the society we live in.
Accountability and support will be the key factors in remaining sober! I wish you all the best in your sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Welcome. I believe this forum to be quite helpful. I got Sober with the help of the people in AA some time ago and am partial. The bottom line with all programs is being honest with ourselves about our drinking and the need to stop for ourselves. There seems to be an evil voice that resides in us that will do all it can to convince us to have a drink for many various reasons that results in relapses that are a problem. I used the reasoning that if I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober AGAIN.
I needed to remember that slow and steady progress is good, as I couldn't handle too much on my plate at once.
KEEP COMING AND BE WELL
I needed to remember that slow and steady progress is good, as I couldn't handle too much on my plate at once.
KEEP COMING AND BE WELL
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Firstly, your post wasn't rambling at all, quite eloquent in fact. It is great that you have found this place and wonderful you have made the decision to stop drinking. Whatever support network you decide to try, that you feel suited to, I wish you luck with. There are plenty of different helps at hand, but this is a great start. It is enough for me right now. Try not to feel guilty. You will never forget your former life but to feel submerged in guilt is detrimental and that is what held me back for a long time until I let go. I also got well in time for my tow younger children to remember me, hopefully, mostly sober. Good luck to you and welcome. xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 450
Welcome glad you have found SR, it helps me and I also go to AA it works for me. Yes I like what IOAA2 had to say, not having that first drink means I will never have to get sober again. I love being sober and free from the hell of being addicted to alcohol x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Hi 122213.
The socializing thing can be a bit tricky especially if you are big in that area.
Normal drinkers, so called, often don't understand.
I would thoroughly recommend AA, to start your recovery, as well as making good friends.
The socializing thing can be a bit tricky especially if you are big in that area.
Normal drinkers, so called, often don't understand.
I would thoroughly recommend AA, to start your recovery, as well as making good friends.
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