PurpleKnight

Past - Where have we come from, a place of misery, anxiety, the longing to get out of the darkness but not sure how, who can relate to waking up with a hangover? everyone I imagine that has ever graced this site, the unwell feelings in the morning, the resolve to change, but by afternoon feeling “I’m fine” concluding in arriving at the bar by early evening, the cycle then repeats itself, the shame, the anxiety, the health problems that slowly creep up on us are quietly ignored, I’ll be fine, it can’t happen to me, Merry Xmas, pour me another, it’s what we do at Xmas, pour me another, I’ll be fine.

Present - Christmas is a time for joy, happiness, spending it with family, but what really happened today. Hangover this morning? One too many pints last night, the longing to shift a grinding headache during the endless visits to relatives, pass the gravy, anyone for more roast potatoes, the bottle of wine empties as the glasses are refilled, the endless spiral into an inevitable blackout into bed has begun, great to see you, how have you been, pour me another, I’m having a great time, it’s Xmas.

Future - The spiral of health problems leads to the inevitable trip to a doctor, gastritis, enlarged liver or even worse a diagnosis of cancer. The alienation of family and friends, the constant reminders of problem drinking fell on deaf ears over the years concluding in the feeling of being alone, all alone with our demons, the regret, the constant feeling of shame, anxiety multiplied, a poison that has finally taken it’s toll over many years and one day will cause death.

We have the power to change the future!!