It's Christmas Eve
It's Christmas Eve
and I am sitting here alone. We were to have a nice meal together, we (yes, AH and I) prepared a big meal, a nice juicy ham, with all the goodies that go with it, and what happens? He has a few too many, and while I was in the living room (actually I left him alone in the kitchen to make some mashed potatoes), he eats a huge chunk of ham and throws a childish tantrum claiming that mashed potatoes were too watery and did not taste good enough and that the meal was ruined (???).
He is sleeping right now (and hopefully he sleeps til morning), and how do I feel? For some strange reason, I am not mad at all, not even disappointed. I do not know if I could call this total numbness or actual detachment. I do not know if my reaction is good or bad for me, but I am actually happy and totally relaxed. Maybe because there was no fighting or major cussing. Maybe because I am in my living room, sitting alone in the darkness and watching my pretty little x-mas tree.
Merry X-mas everyone!
He is sleeping right now (and hopefully he sleeps til morning), and how do I feel? For some strange reason, I am not mad at all, not even disappointed. I do not know if I could call this total numbness or actual detachment. I do not know if my reaction is good or bad for me, but I am actually happy and totally relaxed. Maybe because there was no fighting or major cussing. Maybe because I am in my living room, sitting alone in the darkness and watching my pretty little x-mas tree.
Merry X-mas everyone!
The dread of what might happen has passed. What might happen happened and now there is relief.
It is a common disappointment on a holiday with an alcoholic. The holidays intensify our reactions because we often have unrealistic hopes and expectations.
Take some deep breaths. You are not alone. This is a passage in your life,it is not permanent. Things will change, and you will meet those changes with courage and dignity.
Call the people you love tomorrow so they can help you remember you are important.
I hope you enjoy your little tree. Merry Christmas!
It is a common disappointment on a holiday with an alcoholic. The holidays intensify our reactions because we often have unrealistic hopes and expectations.
Take some deep breaths. You are not alone. This is a passage in your life,it is not permanent. Things will change, and you will meet those changes with courage and dignity.
Call the people you love tomorrow so they can help you remember you are important.
I hope you enjoy your little tree. Merry Christmas!
Hah! Great story; I used to be that guy, now for the third x-mas, I am free from that. I am grateful, One Day At A Time. BTW I'm in AA, and Al-anon for lingering family issues. Sounds like you certainly know how to navigate the matter of addiction, Well Done!
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