Do I have a drinking problem?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: England
Posts: 2
Do I have a drinking problem?
I'll start off by saying hi, my name is Harry and I'm 20 years old. Basically I consume a very large quantity of alcohol (at least 30 units 2-4 times a week) and have done so for the past 2 and a half years. I find it impossible to stop drinking when I go out as I do not know when to stop when I drink and ALWAYS end up spending all the money that is in my wallet. Alcoholism runs in my family and I don't want to end up like my dad who also started drinking heavily at a young age. I feel embarrassed posting on here as I'm only 20 and when I try and talk to people about this they laugh at me but I genuinely do think I have a drinking problem and I want to cut down the amount I drink but I just find it so difficult. I have quite a large group of friends and there is always someone going out so I am always out, it seems any excuse to get drunk I take. I just don't know what to do, the only thing stopping me from drinking right now is the fact that I have no money but I still find a way around it and am in severe debt for a 20 year old student. I don't know what to do!
Thanks if you read this, sorry it's so long!
Harry
I would also like to add, depending on what I drink, my moods and actions do not reflect those of which I would do sober. I get very aggressive and argumentative (especially toward bouncers which got me in trouble with the police on friday), especially when I drink vodka or cheap ciders.
Thanks if you read this, sorry it's so long!
Harry
I would also like to add, depending on what I drink, my moods and actions do not reflect those of which I would do sober. I get very aggressive and argumentative (especially toward bouncers which got me in trouble with the police on friday), especially when I drink vodka or cheap ciders.
Last edited by harry123; 12-24-2013 at 06:30 PM. Reason: I forgot some details
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR!
This is a great place for support. Without judgement as we have been there.
The majority of us had to face the fact that we Are Alcoholics. Stopping completely was the only option. Have you considered quitting for good?
This is a great place for support. Without judgement as we have been there.
The majority of us had to face the fact that we Are Alcoholics. Stopping completely was the only option. Have you considered quitting for good?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hi Harry, you'll be surprised, recognising a need to address your drinking at such a young age is incredibly admirable . . .and nope it wasn't too long!! 
As your concerned, it seems like you want to cut back, whether that means going Sober or more moderation, depends on what control you have of your drinking.
I'd say try going Sober for a week, when you have money, if that can't be done then you'll know you need to address the problem, there is plenty of support on this website but other options are AA or community groups.
Your mates may laugh, but if you get this sorted at the age of 20yrs, think of how many more years you'll enjoy without alcohol being a worry!
As your concerned, it seems like you want to cut back, whether that means going Sober or more moderation, depends on what control you have of your drinking.
I'd say try going Sober for a week, when you have money, if that can't be done then you'll know you need to address the problem, there is plenty of support on this website but other options are AA or community groups.
Your mates may laugh, but if you get this sorted at the age of 20yrs, think of how many more years you'll enjoy without alcohol being a worry!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edwardsville, IL
Posts: 82
It's not too long. I am soooo happy to see that you realize you have a problem. When you think you have a drinking problem, you have a drinking problem. By what you are saying, I would agree you do. You are young enough to save yourself a lot of pain.
Alcoholism runs in my family too. There is NOTHING to be embarrased about. We are just different than others. We cannot be responsible with alcohol. You need to do some reaidn on here.
I will tell you right now, it is not easy, but being sober is worth it. If there is anything I can do to help you, let me know. Ask whatever you want.
Alcoholism runs in my family too. There is NOTHING to be embarrased about. We are just different than others. We cannot be responsible with alcohol. You need to do some reaidn on here.
I will tell you right now, it is not easy, but being sober is worth it. If there is anything I can do to help you, let me know. Ask whatever you want.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 25
Hi harry, for most people on here its not how old you are or how much you drink/drugs you use. Its more to do with where drink/drugs take you in your head when under the influence, and when coming round . Only you can really answer that for yourself.
All i can really say to you is I wish I stopped when I was 20, I,d have saved myself a whole lot of bother.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Welcome Harry! We're so glad you joined us. Everyone here understands the struggle & we're here to help.
I agree - I wish I'd done at 20 what you are - facing up to the fact that your drinking is out of control. Instead I kept insisting I could manage it with willpower. That never worked - every time it got in my system I did unpredictable and dangerous things. I never wanted to admit that I needed to stop all together, but that was the only way to stay safe and sane. I hope you'll keep reading and posting - you can do this Harry.
I agree - I wish I'd done at 20 what you are - facing up to the fact that your drinking is out of control. Instead I kept insisting I could manage it with willpower. That never worked - every time it got in my system I did unpredictable and dangerous things. I never wanted to admit that I needed to stop all together, but that was the only way to stay safe and sane. I hope you'll keep reading and posting - you can do this Harry.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 160
Don't wait until any longer. Quit now before something terrible happens. Many people on here can tell you how negatively alcohol has affected their lives. My wake up call was after I blacked out and stole a shuttle bus and crashed it. No memory of the event except for being arrested. While, I'm doing better now, that incident still haunts me. Recognizing you have a problem now, can help save your future.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,334
Welcome Harry,
If drinking is causing you financial and behavioral problems…..plus run ins with the police, stopping sounds like a good idea. What to you suppose will happen if you don't stop verses what might happen if you do?
If drinking is causing you financial and behavioral problems…..plus run ins with the police, stopping sounds like a good idea. What to you suppose will happen if you don't stop verses what might happen if you do?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Yeap, the longer you go the worse things will get!! . . . I reached late 20's/early 30's before I realised I needed to change, but by then my health had already started to play up, never mind, alcohol having led to dabbling in other substances and being reckless, you can save yourselve a lot of heart ache by taking action now!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
Hi Harry,
First of all, I'd like to welcome you here and say that I wished I was as mature as you are at age 20 and recognized my problem earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of misery and wasted years.
Only you can say whether or not your have a drinking problem but I will tell you how I defined that I had one.
1. Mentally: I couldn't have 1 drink, I had to drink until drunk or passed out.
2. Emotionally: I did things while drinking that horrified me when sober. I hated my drunk self.
3. Financially- I spent my paycheck on vodka, to the point that my rent was (although always paid) was usually late.
4. Something in my gut just told me that I did not think about alcohol in the same way that "normal" people thought about it. It was too damn important in my life and that scared me.
First of all, I'd like to welcome you here and say that I wished I was as mature as you are at age 20 and recognized my problem earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of misery and wasted years.
Only you can say whether or not your have a drinking problem but I will tell you how I defined that I had one.
1. Mentally: I couldn't have 1 drink, I had to drink until drunk or passed out.
2. Emotionally: I did things while drinking that horrified me when sober. I hated my drunk self.
3. Financially- I spent my paycheck on vodka, to the point that my rent was (although always paid) was usually late.
4. Something in my gut just told me that I did not think about alcohol in the same way that "normal" people thought about it. It was too damn important in my life and that scared me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: England
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Leana 
Hi Harry,
First of all, I'd like to welcome you here and say that I wished I was as mature as you are at age 20 and recognized my problem earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of misery and wasted years.
Only you can say whether or not your have a drinking problem but I will tell you how I defined that I had one.
1. Mentally: I couldn't have 1 drink, I had to drink until drunk or passed out.
2. Emotionally: I did things while drinking that horrified me when sober. I hated my drunk self.
3. Financially- I spent my paycheck on vodka, to the point that my rent was (although always paid) was usually late.
4. Something in my gut just told me that I did not think about alcohol in the same way that "normal" people thought about it. It was too damn important in my life and that scared me.
First of all, I'd like to welcome you here and say that I wished I was as mature as you are at age 20 and recognized my problem earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of misery and wasted years.
Only you can say whether or not your have a drinking problem but I will tell you how I defined that I had one.
1. Mentally: I couldn't have 1 drink, I had to drink until drunk or passed out.
2. Emotionally: I did things while drinking that horrified me when sober. I hated my drunk self.
3. Financially- I spent my paycheck on vodka, to the point that my rent was (although always paid) was usually late.
4. Something in my gut just told me that I did not think about alcohol in the same way that "normal" people thought about it. It was too damn important in my life and that scared me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
The first thing is to have a SAFE recovery, I'd check with a doctor to ensure withdrawal isn't going to be an issue, I'd say probably not as your only 20yrs old, but you never know.
After that, get a plan in place to remain Sober!!
After that, get a plan in place to remain Sober!!
Swashbuckler
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Nether-world (CA)
Posts: 205
That used to be me...
Originally Posted by harry123
Basically I consume a very large quantity of alcohol (at least 30 units 2-4 times a week) and have done so for the past 2 and a half years. I find it impossible to stop drinking when I go out as I do not know when to stop when I drink and ALWAYS end up spending all the money that is in my wallet. Alcoholism runs in my family...
I used to sit in a car - totally drunk - and cry listening to a radio show devoted to the people with a drinking problem and every fiber of my being knew what I am doing was wrong on so many levels. Alas, than the show had ended and I went to the bar, where I was a king of drunks, always able to drink more than anyone else, louder than anyone else, bigger spender than anyone else...
Now I'm alone and lonely.
BUT - this is not a sad story, on the contrary. I was thinking today, on Christmas Eve, alone in my rathole, without even a Christmas tree, something that was really big in my family when I was a kid, how finally, finally, I can be here, just be, and seat still, sober and, maybe for the first time in my life since that first drink I took when I was a young kid, calm.
And I feel my life had just started. You have a 33 years advantage over me. It entirely up to you what you're going to do with it.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
Originally Posted by harry123
Thank you everyone who replied, Leana you pretty much summed up all the reasons which make me believe I have a drinking problem and thank you for that. I am unsure what to do next, I think I may speak to my mum as I am very close and open with her but I don't know what's best.
Look into in-patient treatment centers. I think with the amount you are currently drinking that you are going to need some professional help to stop. An in patient treatment center can help ease the withdrawal symptoms and get you started on a sober lifestyle.
If you can't do in-patient, look online for AA groups near you and attend a meeting, to see if that would work for you.
You could also find a private counselor. Or talk to your family doctor.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by harry123
Thank you everyone who replied, Leana you pretty much summed up all the reasons which make me believe I have a drinking problem and thank you for that. I am unsure what to do next, I think I may speak to my mum as I am very close and open with her but I don't know what's best.
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