formyboys

This is the 3rd, yes 3RD Christmas we have spent without XRAH. I can honestly say that it has not gotten any easier. Sure, the day to day stuff has, but the holidays? Nope, still just as painful as the first one. Considering 3 years ago I was getting excited that XRAH was almost finished with his out patient rehab and was on such a good path... Then Oct. 30 I caught him with the gf. He graduated from his program in Feb of that year with out any acknowledgment from us, he was avoiding us like the plague so it was not due to our attitude..since then the holidays have always reminded me of the complete craziness that became my life.

Someday I want to get back to the excitement and happiness I use to have around this time but it just has so many horrible memories....The kids are grown, Im single (by choice) and its just a period of time I would like to skip.
I hope its not always like this....*sigh*
I work a night shift at a hospital...last night I cried all the way home when I realized that today was Christmas eve..and my bday is the day after Christmas.

lizatola

I'm sorry you are hurting! Sending you love and support today! I used to love the holidays but I've come to just find them an annoyance and something to just tolerate until they're over. Hugs!

MissFixit

what can you do differently this year that might be fun? i had several "unfun" holiday seasons and this year i am really happy and content. doing everything i want and nothing i don't want.

Stung

Hugs. I hope you take this time to make new, happy and joyful memories with your family. I don't know how old your kids are, but I think once you have grandkids your zeal for the holidays will be renewed. I have two little ones (its DD2's first Christmas this year...and AH won't be here for it) and they make the holidays so cute and exciting. It's an infectious energy.

HopefulinFLA

I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. Maybe it's time to institute some new traditions with your family. Create new happy memories to overshadow the past?

Sending you peace and love.

BoxinRotz

I know when I don't feel so great about celebrating Holidays and such, I put in for them at work. Takes the bah out of my humbug.

Happy Birthday!

formyboys

thanks guys, I guess its just something I have to power through...I did put in for extra hours at the hospital..working 12s the next 3 days after Christmas, including my bday. id rather do that then sit and mope but feel bad that Im like this for my boys. They are all older so I guess it is what it is..bah humbug...

formyboys

We just received a card from XRAH with the standard gift cards enclosed. He sends a sizeable one for our son and always sends a pretty sizeable on for me also.......
I find this strange, who sends there ex wife a gift for xmas when you don't even speak. He has done it every year. Guilty money I say, but ill take it..lol

I always wonder what the gf would think if she knew he did that....