Number1

One question I would like to ask those in long term recovery is what their experiences of socialising during recovery are? By this I mean places like restaurants.

My girlfriend is the normal outgoing bubbly type of girl. She does drink but never to drunkeness. I have said previously once I came clean with her that I was an alcholic and had come out of rehab within a couple of months of meeting her that whilst restaurants and relaxed pubs are ok with me I dont like be around drunken people (so the majority of the city centre on a weekend) and crowded bars.

This worked fine until we visited some friends and were out every night and I had to watch people drinking wine every night. I would like to add that she been very supportive in the past when I relapsed (my last one being over the past week). I want our relationship to work but I dont want to bore her either!

Dee74

I had to stay away from people drinking for a while. I only started to venture back out when I felt utterly secure in my decision to stay sober and that nothing or noone could sway me.

It's a tough choice but my recovery was very important to me. Can you talk to your GF about this?

D

KateL

What Dee said. I'm fine with it now.

PurpleKnight

The most important thing must be your sobriety, if places are to much of a risk then you gotta be tough and rule them out until later on, or if needs be never again.

I've been to a few bars with friends since becoming sober, from the outset making it clear that I wont be drinking, and as the night progresses leaving early (the time when people are getting increasingly drunk) . . . you just need to set up some clear rules to make it work! . . . but if it's not going to work, then don't go anywhere near certain places!

The other thing is working out other activities that don't involve places that serve alcohol, whether that means going to see a movie instead etc etc . . . you gotta do what you gotta do to remain sober!

least

I was like Dee. I had to stay away from alcohol for a while til I was secure in my recovery. Now it doesn't bother me, except that I do not like to be around drunken people!

Leana

I've never had a problem being in bars or around people drinking.

I posted this before, just a few weeks after I stopped drinking we went on a vacation (planned almost a year earlier) at an all-inclusive resort. I was the ONLY sober person on that vacation and I mean the others drank from sun up (mimosa's at breakfast), all day on the beach, and all night. I didn't touch a drop.

Now, I would not recommend that type of situation so early in sobriety but I have to admit, when we returned home, I knew I could face just about any situation and survive. I very rarely have any problem in drinking situations today.

Mountainmanbob

that's a rough one because
most recovered alcoholics don't hang out at pubs that often
not saying that we can't
it's just a boring place for us (me anyway)

had a friend in AA who bragged about the fact that he
bartended at the local vfw hall and yet never drank
well - this only worked for him for a year or two
then there it was again - drunk and on prescription pills

I have said it here before
if I hang out at the barber shop often enough
I may end up with a haircut ??

Mountainman

Inca

I stayed away from bars and restaurants where alcohol would be flowing with a group, at least at first.

There are so many other things to do besides going to bars and restaurants. Maybe your friends would like to go to the movies, see a play, go bowling, lots of things. If not, another thing to try might be to go to dinner and when the night switches to heavy drinking, politely excuse yourself and go elsewhere.