seethefuture

Hello Everyone,

I was sober for all of October and November until Thanksgiving. Since then, I've had a few nights here and there where I overdid it, but not drinking alone -always with a friend, etc., which is important to me. However, I feel so much better (big surprise) when I am completely off alcohol.

I am scheduled to have another sober period starting January 1st. My partner and I do these stints where we don't drink -and it is really easy to do. So, I am not sure why I don't just keep it up. This time my intention is to do so.

Dealing with many sad things in my life right now - the death of my only sibling, aging parents, teenager, divorce, - and alcohol sometimes seems like an amazing good idea to get away!

Just reaching out - not sure what the point of this post is, exactly!

happyperson

Why keep doing this to yourself until January 1st.? Why not quit now? A whole lot of drinking can be done between now and then. Drinking that will make nothing in your life better, only worse. Even with the sad things in your life, which I feel bad for you about, alcohol makes it worse. Because you will have to deal with those things at one point and postponing that with alcohol isn't a good idea.

Also, you were sober for 2 months, but a Holiday triggered your drinking. Don't you think it'd be a good idea to stay sober during the coming Holidays? It would be a good way to practice sobriety even during special occasions.

In any case, good luck! And keep us posted!

KateL

Sorry for your losses. Just read a very similar post a minute ago. It is hard this time of year and you sound like you have a lot going on. Good luck for the new year and keep posting. I do admire people's honestly on here, it's great x

Dee74

I'm sorry for your sadness seethefuture.

I dunno about you tho, but drinking never helped me be less sad - the most it did was make me forget - for a little while - then everything comes flooding back and you have to repeat the process, over and over.

It's kinda like a holding pattern of grief that can go on for years.

I hope you decide to stop sooner than Jan1st. Why wait to really start living again?

D

seethefuture

Happy, you are correct on all fronts. I guess I am thinking about stopping now - I am with my parents - away from my normal social circle, and wondering why I need to wait until I get back home to "start the stopping" with my partner.

Yesterday I took my parents to place a wreath on my brother's grave. It was heartbreaking. They looked so broken and sad, and the idea that my brother was in that cold ground was just devastating. I instantly wanted to (and did ) drink.

Tomorrow is another day and I think I'll make it a sober one!

Thank you Kate. It is a hard time of the year.

KateL

I agree, the respite of grief or anxiety with alcohol was a temporary numb buzz that just just shorter and shorter every time, and the next day I would feel more depressed than ever. I would either carry on drinking or walk around with a face like a slapped bum. It was horrible.

least

I hope we can help you stay sober for good this time.

Hevyn

Hello See. You've made a wise decision to consider stopping for good. That was the only way for me.

I insisted it always helped me deal with my emotions. It never did - just kept me numb and foggy. I didn't heal or feel better about the bad things that happened. I agree that it prolongs our pain & keeps us from dealing with things head on. I'm glad you're here - you can do this.

seethefuture

Thanks, everyone. I am thankful I have support here! Drinking is not going to make anything better, that's for sure.

happyperson

I feel for you. Even the thought of losing one of my siblings is terrible. It's a very sad thing indeed and I'm very sorry for your loss.

Alcohol simply isn't a solution though. Grief counseling might be something for you? You could look into it.

Also, think about this. Wouldn't it be much better for your partner if you already have some sober time when you come back? I imagine it would make it much easier for them.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry for all you're going through, seethefuture. My brother is probably the person I'm closest to in this entire world so I can imagine how you must be feeling. But as you have noticed, drinking won't help matters. When my Dad passed away I went into a tailspin of drinking...ultimately I began to worry for my survival so I stopped. Dad wouldn't have wanted me to drink myself to death and surely your brother wouldn't have wanted that for you, either.