ebo

Well I'm 38 male gambling addiction and alcohol has destroyed my life . I have lost my wife and two kids yet I still continue these behaviors. I love God but evidence proves I must love alcohol and gambling more cuz I don't stop. I have a great job lovely parents . I have had a pretty nice life never abused . There is no explanation for my habits and sin. I will be homeless January 15 that's the least of my worries. My sin is killing me I want to be right with God so bad but I always fail I'm at the end of my ropes I can't continue like this . I want to die but I would screw that up too. Please help any advice .

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Kissimee54

It is amazing what we will do to ourselves. I was not too far off from your situation. If I were you I'd think about checking myself in to a detox. At least give yourself a bit of a break from the routine you are in. Call someone for support . . . your church, AA may be. That's my lame advice. Hope this helps.

MemphisBlues

Well, ebo, we all hit a bottom before we get sober. At least many of us do. Mine was too far off from what you described.

Are you sober now?

The only way out of a bottom is to quit digging.

ebo

Thanks ...I'm more of a binge drinker .Not physically dependant I suppose. I will call the church Monday

ebo

Ya I'm sober today . Drank yesterday no substantial recovery for ten years maybe a month here and there the most was 9 months from alcohol still gambled

Dee74

Welcome Ebo - you'll find a lot of support here.
Let us know how it goes on Monday too

D

Finnie

I'm a binge drinker.

I have found ,this may sound weird,the reason I have failed so many times is that I have a longer detox time. My body was used to 3,4,5 days without alcohol and the cravings would get crazy day 6 ,7 8 when I would drink again.

I don't know if this is scientific but it's true for me. If you are a bringer you know you can do a few days. Plan for when you will next crave drink and take steps to stop picking up the first drink.

Get help now, it's never too late. This could be day one of a great life.

Gilmer

I just responded to you in your other thread. Don't wait till Monday--go to church tomorrow, and talk to the pastor right away after the sermon.

wpainterw

ebo: There's a lot of talk about "sin" and "can't". Would it help to focus on the fact that you have an illness and need help? That you "can" because others "could" and "can", others who would love to help you if you let them. You say you have a great job but you'll be homeless January 15 and that "will be the least of [your] worries." That's hard to understand. Reach out, get help, enter a recovery program. Start on an upward path. Other hands will reach out to help you if you'll only let them do that. It's not hopeless. That's just the alcohol talking.

W.

least

I believe there's always hope as long as you don't give up trying.

Hevyn

It's very good to meet you Ebo. This is an encouraging and helpful place filled with people who really understand. Glad to have you with us.

ebo

Ya I want help . Can't miss anymore work though
not sure what tomorrow will bring..sober today though
Not sure what the church will do nothing I'm sure offer prayers
Which is kool and needed . I guess just aa and try and keep my job while living in my car. ..I'm not feeling sorry for myself these are just my thoughts

Anna

Ebo, I, personally, don't like the term sin being used. Addiction is not a sin, it's a disease. It's not a sin or a character defect. You can recover, many of us do. I'm glad you found us and are seeking support.

ebo

Yes thank you to all. I went to church to went forward for*
Prayer . God is always faithful just feel so alienated
From home because of my addiction issues. I have obliterated any relationships . As we speak I'm alone on the side of the road in my car. No sorrow for me as I caused this*
Therefore must reap what I have sewn. ..God is good.i must. Believe he has a way out for me otherwise I have no hope and might as well die

Gilmer

Hi, Ebo. Tonight it's the other thread that's jumping. So glad today was clean and good.

Threshold

welcome ebo! It may not be that we love our addictions more, it's often that we have no idea how to live without them.

We must learn a new way to live, and we can. If you have money, have you looked into a pay by the week motel as a living option for now?

I'm glad you spoke to your church . AA is a great place to start, I'd also look into Gambling Anonymous if I were you. Check the phone book.

And stick around here!

ebo

Ya I'm working won't have money for a month or so to pay my way out of the financial mess iv made. All alone pretty lonely at the moment. You all have been my only connection to the human species. Thank you all for your efforts

Kayla50

I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is. I can't even get through a day sober or without crying. I lost my marriage a few years ago. Still struggling with it.

wpainterw

ebo: Would it help if you try to focus on starting to work your recovery with some program or plan rather than dwell on what might be termed "passive thinking" (like saying that you're somehow sinful and that you hope God will help you out of the mess)? Might you not think that God will help you out but that He wants some sign from you, your hand reaching out to Him, and the best way to do this is to start in on a recovery program, go to an AA meeting or some other program which puts you in touch with others who are trying to recover. Recover together with others. Work on that and if you work on that then God will reach down and help you. He will throw you a life preserver but first you should swim over to where you can catch it and help Him start hauling you in. No good just to sit around moaning. You do your part and He will do His part and you'll start getting well.

W.

ebo

Yes W well said .I need to be involved anything that might help. I must leave no stone unturned. It's just shocking how low I have fallen. I'm just sick to my soul and overwhelming sorrowful for my despicable choices