animalnurse9

I went to my mums tonight to pick up my book. I'm sitting here with a higlighter and post it tags like I'm studying :-\ went and ran stairs with my dogs instead of drinking. Which was good! Happy puppies, but their mummy is still sad and angry and embarrassed with herself and all the things and people I've ruined. Hurts alot bleh!

Marcher13

Sure it hurts a lot AN but you've made a start and you won't be hungover tomorrow morning. Isn't it wonderful that dogs are infinitely forgiving?

cheebiechi

You are on the right track!!! you might want two highlighters for the book, so many great words/sentences/paragraphs/pages and chapters to highlight.

You are awesome, keep it up!!!...how are the legs feeling from the stairs?? dang dogs seem like they can go for hours!

Matt

animalnurse9

Yeah, I have 3 and they love me unconditionally. I need to do better by them, for sure.

ForestRunner

I always remember this silly quote from some movie with Natalie Portman where she says, "every moment presents another chance to turn it all around." Righting a ship doesn't happen in an instant. You did great tonight!

animalnurse9

Thanks Matt, they aren't too bad, somehow I've managed ( I honestly have no idea how) to run them a few times a week so hopefully muscle memory will work its magic. The dogs would have kept going all day lol I'm envious of their joy and stamina!

animalnurse9

Thanks Forestrunner

BillinSaratoga

AN - Have 3 dogs as well. Wish we humans were more like dogs sometimes. They give love and don't ask for much in return. A dog that is yours is yours no matter what you do. they do not beat themselves up for what they did yesterday and they literally live for this minute. Don't look behind you and beat yourself mentally for what you did, look for today for what you can do. I wrestle with this myself and cant say I have it down perfect but I do know that coming here many new friends have provided me some very helpful advice. Post here as you work thru. And enjoy your best friends, let the love of your dogs provide you with positive waves and support.

cheebiechi

your welcome, and muscle memory does return, but when I started playing hockey again holy **** it seemed like forever before I could go out and play and not be sore for three days after!!

Exercise is so awesome, have a stop every once in a while and smell the roses too (persay)

Thepatman

Just made me miss my own dog. She got run over, one of the worst day ever. I was never able to get another one. I think it's time now that I'm sober?

Thanks for your post, your awesome and made me realize, that getting a new one is not betrayal to her memory. Depriving myself from this joy is pointless.

animalnurse9

Thanku, I definitely wish more people were like my dogs, faithful, loving and joyful. I need to take notes when I'm watching them I think lol
Thepatman , I'm sorry sorry u lost ur dog. Its not a betrayal at all. I saw this post once about how our lost furkids in all their infinite wisdom, would want us to share our love and happy homes with another dog that needs that love. Maybe get a rescue dog? Mine are rescues and they are amazing

animalnurse9

Chee, If I wake up with wobbly legs I'll let u know haha least it means I worked hard aye haha

Thepatman

Great idea!

cheebiechi

Mine is a rescue as well, when we lost our doggie 2 years ago we thought we would not get another because we felt such a loss, but 2 months later we were on the rescue sites. And it sure is funny how Maggie is so different from Mallory but yet so similar. And her spirit keeps showing up in our photos around the house! Love it

Matt

cheebiechi

lol, it sure does A.N.

Progress not Perfection

Hawkeye13

You know animalnurse, that's what helped me get my first sober time.

I took my four large dogs for a walk in the woods behind our house every day
because I felt guilty that I just came home from work and started drinking and didn't have fun with them or take them for exercise.

At first, I could barely wheeze my way up and down the hill and had to stop
and rest and then I would feel bad obsessing about all the stupid stuff I had been doing because of drinking while I was standing there puffing feeling fat and old.

Dogs would play and wag their tails and run to check on me and I just kept going and each day focused a little less on me and my crap and just enjoyed
being in the forest and watching the dogs run.

After a month or so I could walk up the hill without stopping, dogs were
fitter and I didn't feel like a neglectful mommy. Everything improved.
Sober time kept growing and I decided to try Crossfit.

Dogs loved me sober or drinking, but I think they have tons more fun
with me now.

Also, the guilt and shame I felt at my stupid drunken actions
faded, and now I don't even think about them anymore--I'm no longer that person.
You are doing a great job. Keep trying and keep posting.

It will just click if you don't give up. Hugs to you and your puppies
(Mine are twelve years old and still puppies to me. . . )

animalnurse9

Thank you hawkeeye, your post really resonates with me x p.s my oldest is 11 and she's still a puppy too lol

SeaScape

Hang in there. I don't know if it comforts you to know this but I am going through the same things you are - just across the globe. The same doubts, fears, shame and uncomfortable feelings. I just keep faith that it will get better!

sugarbear1

That big book is studied best with someone who has studied it with another....

I wish you and the pups well!

Dee74

Hope today is a good day AN

D