New member from the UK
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 9
New member from the UK
Hi everybody.
I stopped drinking on 4 February 2012 so am really looking forward to my 2 year anniversary. The problem is that I'm suddenly finding it harder than I ever have. I'm scared that I'm not going to make it and, with Christmas and New Year coming, need help.
I've got to the "I can obviously control it because I have managed without it for so long" stage. I know rationally that isn't true but I'm struggling.
It feels really hard right now and I just need somewhere safe to be able to say that.
Thanks for reading.
I stopped drinking on 4 February 2012 so am really looking forward to my 2 year anniversary. The problem is that I'm suddenly finding it harder than I ever have. I'm scared that I'm not going to make it and, with Christmas and New Year coming, need help.
I've got to the "I can obviously control it because I have managed without it for so long" stage. I know rationally that isn't true but I'm struggling.
It feels really hard right now and I just need somewhere safe to be able to say that.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 382
Welcome Geno 
You'll find lots of support here and lots of info on different recovery plans.
Are you following any particular plan like AA or Smart?
I like AVRT which is about recognises our addictive voices and detaching from it.
Sounds to me like your addictive voice is screaming at you to drink atm and you need to just stand your ground and say no!
You'll find lots of support here and lots of info on different recovery plans.
Are you following any particular plan like AA or Smart?
I like AVRT which is about recognises our addictive voices and detaching from it.
Sounds to me like your addictive voice is screaming at you to drink atm and you need to just stand your ground and say no!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Glad to meet you Geno!
You were wise to look for extra support - you found a great place. I think reading and posting here will help you feel stronger & more determined. Congratulations on your sober time - well done!
You were wise to look for extra support - you found a great place. I think reading and posting here will help you feel stronger & more determined. Congratulations on your sober time - well done!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 9
I've read the Big Book (am currently re-reading it) but have never been to a meeting. I have found it really useful and I draw a lot of strength from it. I have thought about attending an AA meeting but am scared that if I do it will put alcohol back at the centre of my life again and be more like an admission of failure.
That's silly, I know. But it's how I see it sometimes.
That's silly, I know. But it's how I see it sometimes.
you have mail...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 9
I think last Christmas I was still feeling strong from the novelty of being sober. My sobriety doesn't feel so shiny and new anymore and so is beginning to feel more like a burden. I've also had a tough year at work and with my mood (have accessed some counselling and therapy for the first time ever) so generally I'm just feeling a bit battered and bruised. It feels a bit like things are hard enough without me self-enforcing sobriety on myself. I will get through this phase but I just need to recognise the danger.
Thank you for taking the time to post guys - I appreciate it.
Thank you for taking the time to post guys - I appreciate it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Iam nearly at two years like you, drink and we go back to that rinse and repeat bs of obsession / hangovers and the feeling of being back in the dark pit of addiction . Then if ever we get back in "quit mode" one will have to go through all the early days weeks again .
Seen enought blubbering drunks falling about London in the last two weeks to re charge my sober batteries , sober is cool .
Never ever going back to that sheep like absurdity of pouring poison down ones throat.
Seen enought blubbering drunks falling about London in the last two weeks to re charge my sober batteries , sober is cool .
Never ever going back to that sheep like absurdity of pouring poison down ones throat.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
It feels a bit like things are hard enough without me self-enforcing sobriety on myself.
Whenever I feel like my recovery is a chore or an imposition it's time for me to step back and look at what I'm doing, and try and discern why it's such a burden...
It's interesting you say you fear AA might put alcohol back at the centre of your life. That sounds like your addiction talking to me.
With any support - whether it be SR or AA or SMART Recovery, or Life Ring, or Rational Recovery - the emphasis should be recovery, not alcohol
Alcohol's no longer an important part of my life, but recovery is
I really believe recovery, if it's working well, should be the way of life we prefer.
Maybe you need to remind yourself of the reasons you quit? more support will hopefully help too
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SE Arizona
Posts: 1,099
Originally Posted by genoparis 
I've read the Big Book (am currently re-reading it) but have never been to a meeting. I have found it really useful and I draw a lot of strength from it. I have thought about attending an AA meeting but am scared that if I do it will put alcohol back at the centre of my life again and be more like an admission of failure.
That's silly, I know. But it's how I see it sometimes.
That's silly, I know. But it's how I see it sometimes.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,474
Yes, I agree with Dee, that focusing on recovery, rather than 'not drinking' is the way to go. Congratulations on your almost 2 year anniversary. And, I'm so glad that you came here, seeking support, when you felt vulnerable.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
You just said it. You will get though this phase and you recognise the danger. It will pass quickly, I'm sure. I don't like going to AA and making it the centre of things either, I feel like it shouldn't define me, but that's just me. Just be aware of the dangers and you will do fine. Happy Chrisrmas xxx
There's a lot of support here. Read and post all you like. We are here to help you stay sober. EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by genoparis
I have thought about attending an AA meeting but am scared that if I do it will put alcohol back at the centre of my life again...
Now that it's back at the center of your life, what are you going to do with it?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Welcome from a fellow Brit. As someone recently recovering from a two week lapse after managing three months perhaps I can remind you of something that I have just reminded myself of - that drinking actually doesn't solve the problem you think you may have now that you are sober!
I was amazed (though I should not have been - all the experience and wisdom available tells us after all!) how quickly I began to feel awful and how quickly the mental anguish and feeling dreadful returned. I was headed right back to the place where drinking was hell and sobriety the only option if I didn't want to just dig my own grave ultimately. Somehow I pulled myself up short and put down the drink. Day four here after that lapse and back on track!
All the best to you. Drinking, for us, really doesn't offer anything but pain and anguish except perhaps in the very short term. it will solve the 'problem' of how you feel right now for a couple of days perhaps and then the inevitable downward spiral will begin. We ALL know this here pretty much, but such is the power of addiction that it seems some of us are determined to learn the lesson over and over again!
I was amazed (though I should not have been - all the experience and wisdom available tells us after all!) how quickly I began to feel awful and how quickly the mental anguish and feeling dreadful returned. I was headed right back to the place where drinking was hell and sobriety the only option if I didn't want to just dig my own grave ultimately. Somehow I pulled myself up short and put down the drink. Day four here after that lapse and back on track!
All the best to you. Drinking, for us, really doesn't offer anything but pain and anguish except perhaps in the very short term. it will solve the 'problem' of how you feel right now for a couple of days perhaps and then the inevitable downward spiral will begin. We ALL know this here pretty much, but such is the power of addiction that it seems some of us are determined to learn the lesson over and over again!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, genoparis. I guess your post is a wake up call to me, too. I've been sober for 14 months and while I don't feel it's a burden to me I will say the new has worn off. I use AVRT, and basically alcohol is off the table for me since I made my Big Plan.
I hope just putting the words down in print gives you the reinforcement you need. Think how terrible you'll feel if you trip up right before such a milestone anniversary! What a bad thing to have to start over.
Look at whatever is making you think of slipping and face it square in the eye. Remember how bad things were and how much you don't want to go back to the old way.
I hope just putting the words down in print gives you the reinforcement you need. Think how terrible you'll feel if you trip up right before such a milestone anniversary! What a bad thing to have to start over.
Look at whatever is making you think of slipping and face it square in the eye. Remember how bad things were and how much you don't want to go back to the old way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Geno
My sobriety date is in Feb 2012 too so I know how you feel. The thing that has really made the difference for me though has been support. I have always been reluctant to ask to ask for help, but being able to do that anonymously here has helped me learn to do it in real life too. Getting yourself a good sobriety/recovery network makes all the difference. I am not far from you and have a wonderful sponsor in Manchester. I am sure the meetings there would be a good place to start x
My sobriety date is in Feb 2012 too so I know how you feel. The thing that has really made the difference for me though has been support. I have always been reluctant to ask to ask for help, but being able to do that anonymously here has helped me learn to do it in real life too. Getting yourself a good sobriety/recovery network makes all the difference. I am not far from you and have a wonderful sponsor in Manchester. I am sure the meetings there would be a good place to start x
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