Angry !!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Angry !!
I am coming up on 10 moon sober. I feel fantastic, the clarity and calmness I hàvd got since putting away the stuff that was making me sick have made it worthwhile. Also my relationships with people and general sence of well being make me know I'm doing the right thing. The positives are endless , while I got a few niggles about it still.
One of them is , people's attitudes towards it. It's like your stigmatised for not participiating. And the questions , which if I reversed them to the person about some aspect of their life n scrutinised it, well I don't think it would sit to well.
I was asked, why can't you just take a line. It's good, aren't you bored ??
That is like me saying to that person why dnt you change the way u dress , or why don't you listen to my music.( Just an example. )To me it's ****** my business . An it's pretty intrusive and rude in my book.
Wondering what some of you felt about this?
One of them is , people's attitudes towards it. It's like your stigmatised for not participiating. And the questions , which if I reversed them to the person about some aspect of their life n scrutinised it, well I don't think it would sit to well.
I was asked, why can't you just take a line. It's good, aren't you bored ??
That is like me saying to that person why dnt you change the way u dress , or why don't you listen to my music.( Just an example. )To me it's ****** my business . An it's pretty intrusive and rude in my book.
Wondering what some of you felt about this?
Congrats on 10 months! Focus on that clarity and calm, and surround yourself with people who understand and are rooting for your success. As for the others, water off a duck, my friend. If they don't get it, their words/attitudes don't get the honor of occupying your thoughts.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 400
I have kept this fairly quiet. Just discussed with close (and good) friends. They have been cheering me on and have tried to understand. Others not so much. Make jokes about the bars having to lay off servers now. Thats okay. I think everyone has their own demons whatever it is and I don't take offense to anything they say.
We are on a mission here folks and their will always be aquaintances that tell you you cant do it. **** em is my attitude. Surround yourself with support and stick to the plan and you cant help but improve your life and get healthy.
Day 39 for me today. Its Friday the week before Christmas. Normally I would be lining up my drinking plans this morning for the afternoon and evening. Today, I look forward to my 3 year old grandson meeting me at the house to plow the driveway with the ATV. He loves riding with Papa on the quad pushing snow. Now thats my reward for a busy work week. Not sitting on a bar stool for 4 hours talking nonsense with the other drunks.
I thank SR for the support and encouragement to beat the crap out of my miserable SOB ex-friend.
We are on a mission here folks and their will always be aquaintances that tell you you cant do it. **** em is my attitude. Surround yourself with support and stick to the plan and you cant help but improve your life and get healthy.
Day 39 for me today. Its Friday the week before Christmas. Normally I would be lining up my drinking plans this morning for the afternoon and evening. Today, I look forward to my 3 year old grandson meeting me at the house to plow the driveway with the ATV. He loves riding with Papa on the quad pushing snow. Now thats my reward for a busy work week. Not sitting on a bar stool for 4 hours talking nonsense with the other drunks.
I thank SR for the support and encouragement to beat the crap out of my miserable SOB ex-friend.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 49
It is rude. If they would just ask and accept your no, it'd be ok. But pushing it is rude. Not sure if anger is the appropriate response though. These things will happen. You can just accept that, feel calm and be assertive. No one can force you and if it means they get offended, you know you're hanging out with the wrong people.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Yeah , I have new sober friends now. This was a girl I was chatting too. I could here myself going n what right does anyone have to start asking deep questions with disdain !? Seems like she was the one with the problem. It's just one of them days. I'm feeling it this week. This would usually be reason for me to drink everyday because its the holidays. Just feeling a bit raw!!!
Hi miko.
I'm glad you came here to talk about it. So few truly understand what we go through - that's why I've hung out here for 6 yrs. Our SR friends help take the sting out of rude, hurtful comments. You're doing great.
I'm glad you came here to talk about it. So few truly understand what we go through - that's why I've hung out here for 6 yrs. Our SR friends help take the sting out of rude, hurtful comments. You're doing great.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Queens, New York
Posts: 9
For years when I'd try to talk to certain people about wanting to stop drinking I was told to have will power and learn to stop at a certain point... I know now that they were the ignorant ones and what made me mad now then, makes feel sorry for them now. I truly believe they don't even know what they say or how to think of anything outside themselves. I hope they learn the things this group already know.
I think this shift in thoughts is what finally made me decide to be sober. Perhaps this change will also help you in dealing with somebody like this flippant person n her comment.
I think this shift in thoughts is what finally made me decide to be sober. Perhaps this change will also help you in dealing with somebody like this flippant person n her comment.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Some people just don't get it. I tell friends that I don't want to drink when we go out and I hear "ok, that's cool. We only have to have a few beers". Makes me laugh sometimes.
Congrats on the ten months. I'm at three and I look forward to the progress I'll have at ten.
Congrats on the ten months. I'm at three and I look forward to the progress I'll have at ten.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Thanks for replies.
Yeah keep at it in a at three months I was beginning to reap the rewards of sobriety with sleep getting a but better and , it just seems t get better around this time for me and many people I speak too. I hope you find your way.
Yeah keep at it in a at three months I was beginning to reap the rewards of sobriety with sleep getting a but better and , it just seems t get better around this time for me and many people I speak too. I hope you find your way.
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