Day 50
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Morton, IL
Posts: 87
Day 50
Ugh, Some days are better than others! I had a good session with my therapist yesterday, and I feel like the program is starting to work for me. My wife wants to separate and we have three young boys, and not much money so I am anxious about that but taking one day at a time. I am fearful about going to her parents for the holidays, and life in general right now. I have a job, work from home in sales and it is ok, grateful for it, but it is hard because I have a five year old with me and it is hard to concentrate. Most days at the beginning I want to stay in bed and not face reality, but I do. It could be a lot worse, and I am grateful for the forums. I am trusting in God as my higher power and it helps. I think I am right where I am supposed to be today, even though I do not like it very much. I am going to meetings at AA often and finding support there and on SR. My goals are to get a better job, like I had before, be of service to others, and be a good dad. My life is unmanageable, and I am powerless over frugs and alcohol. It is as good a start as any. Just want to run, but wherever I go there I am! The emotions and mood swings are rough, and I am getting this off my chest. I do not want to pick up a drink or drug. I do want to be responsible and productive. The house is a mess, I am not eating very healthy, and smoking cigarettes too. I want to address that too soon but frirst things first. If this helps anyone, or if anyone can relate, Thanks is great. I am going to keep sharing and get this out of my head so I can do my best today. I have to get presents for the kids too and I am so overwhelmed right now. I am going to give it all to HP and do the next right thing. Thanks for letting me share!
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