firstymer

As challenging as it has been for me to stay sober during the last few months, one thing that has NOT been difficult is switching to non-alcoholic drinks in social settings. I don't worry about what to say, or how to explain why I am drinking diet soda instead of alcohol. There are a million excuses to use if someone asks me about it. I think that 90% of people are more concerned about what they are drinking than what I am drinking. Not once has anyone commented or criticized me for not drinking alcohol in a social setting. Honestly, I think they don't care. I certainly don't care what others are drinking. Why would they care what I am drinking?

I read a lot of posts where people struggle with how they will deal with this and I am afraid I don't understand the issue. What am I missing?

DarkDays

Agree I have only being asked a couple of times, I then I take great pleasure In telling people that I don't need it anymore like they do.

But in the main , no one really cares or notices if you got a glass of something in your hand.

KateL

I actually remember during my drinking days, I worked with a lady who told me she didn't drink. Not once did I even wonder why. I just remember thinking how lucky she was. It has just come back to me in a flashback. How strange

ScottFromWI

In just under a year sober, I have yet once to find a single person wondering what I was drinking or even bothering to notice what I am drinking in any social situation. The absolute only ones who noticed are people I already know in my immediate family who were used to seeing me perpetually with a beer in hand, and even they really don't care one way or the other either.

It's purely an alcoholic way of thinking - you assume people care because you care...but in reality no one does.

Dee74

The only people who ever gave me anything like a bad time where people who were drinking buddies, or people with a problem themselves.

99% of people just don't care what I drink, or don't drink

D

doggonecarl

I think fear is a big obstacle to sobriety. Our addiction throws a lot of fears in our path. One way, I think, that fear manifests itself is the fear of what people think. "What we they think if I'm not drinking, if I say no, if I tell them I'm alcoholic."

Like most fears, unfounded.

I'm sure you have some fears, just not this one. Good for you.

Notimetoloose

Its early days for me, 1½ mths but I have been practising trying to stay sober for the last 4½ years. With good chunks of time alcohol free.

These days I am good around alcohol in a work situation and can take it of the table as an option.

Purely social situations are different and I prepare for them before hand, they are all different and I can feel in a different moods when I attend them, sometimes it is easy, sometime hard, sometimes I am indifferent to alcohol and sometimes it is so hard that I become hyper vigilant and can spot the wine, the ½ filled glasses on the tables, glasses being held in hands, being lifted to lips, I can hear and smell alcohol...lol..torture.

I know one thing for sure, without a doubt is that when I bust I feel disappointment to my core.

Recently when I have been out to dinner and everyone at our table is drinking except me I have been fine. A little anxious before hand but once there for the most OK.
I have also had a look around the other tables of packed restaurants and notice that many more tables are not drinking than drinking...drinking water and sodas.

I hate that question or more of a statement, 'we're meeting for drinks later' or we will catch up for drinks or come over for drinks etc..The sole purpose is to get together for/over drinks...I find that harder and at this stage I bow out with excuses...