New / Day 5 / Question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 49
New / Day 5 / Question
Dear people,
I would like to take a moment to introduce myself, tell my story and I also have a question.
First of all, I'm a 38 year old male. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that my story is partly pretty standard.
5 years ago a close friend of mine passed away. Before that I hardly ever drank. Maybe a couple of glasses a year. A birthday. New Year's Eve. And not even on all occasions.
When my friend passed away, I of course felt a lot of grief. I took a drink to take the edge off. Big mistake. It spiraled out of control to the point where I was drinking most of the day, every day. It wasn't even because of the grief anymore, I had gotten addicted.
My life spiraled out of control as well. I was close to losing everything. There were too many close calls. I own two dogs and it had gotten so close to me not being able to afford food for them. That didn't happen fortunately, but had there been an emergency and one of the needed to go to the vet, there would have been a problem. I always had hardly any money because I spent it all on booze.
I've done some things I'm not proud of. Nothing terrible, but terribly embarrassing.
I started to look unhealthy and look, smell and act like an alcoholic. Always trying to hide it. Always living for the booze. All those things.
Last Saturday I woke up, hung over and realized that it couldn't go on like that anymore. It had been in the back in my mind for a while, but that morning it just broke through. So since that day I haven't touched a drink, making this day 5.
I wasn't really familiar with detox and withdrawal. Never really crossed my mind. I've read up on it now and from what I've read, my detox and withdrawal is relatively mild.
Day 1 and 2 I felt very sick. Throwing up, heartburn, diarrhea, no appetite, very little sleep. I had to stay at home. Couldn't eat. I did make sure I drank enough water though.
Day 3 I felt almost the opposite. I started to get hungry. I could leave the house, do groceries and ate a lot. I did start to feel anxiety, which was unfamiliar to me. I've never been a fearful or anxious kind of person and this anxiety was a surprise. Also, sleeping was difficult still.
Day 4. More eating. Anxiety diminishing. I felt relief and happiness instead about the fact that the drinking is over and that I'm getting back to a normal live. I did sleep poorly still though.
Today, day 5. Doing pretty well at the moment. Feeling tired but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. The world looks brighter even. I don't feel a need to eat so much anymore.
I'm going to take a couple of days of rest and when I have my energy back, I'm going to sign up for the gym. During all these years of drinking, my body must have become unhealthy. And I notice that my muscles have gotten weak because of all the just sitting down and being drunk. So I want to get my strength back.
So that's it so far. Now my question. I never, ever want to drink again. And I feel pretty confident I can do that on my own. But just in case, I want to have some options should I need them.
The only thing I know of is AA. But what else is there?
Nice to be part of this group!
I would like to take a moment to introduce myself, tell my story and I also have a question.
First of all, I'm a 38 year old male. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that my story is partly pretty standard.
5 years ago a close friend of mine passed away. Before that I hardly ever drank. Maybe a couple of glasses a year. A birthday. New Year's Eve. And not even on all occasions.
When my friend passed away, I of course felt a lot of grief. I took a drink to take the edge off. Big mistake. It spiraled out of control to the point where I was drinking most of the day, every day. It wasn't even because of the grief anymore, I had gotten addicted.
My life spiraled out of control as well. I was close to losing everything. There were too many close calls. I own two dogs and it had gotten so close to me not being able to afford food for them. That didn't happen fortunately, but had there been an emergency and one of the needed to go to the vet, there would have been a problem. I always had hardly any money because I spent it all on booze.
I've done some things I'm not proud of. Nothing terrible, but terribly embarrassing.
I started to look unhealthy and look, smell and act like an alcoholic. Always trying to hide it. Always living for the booze. All those things.
Last Saturday I woke up, hung over and realized that it couldn't go on like that anymore. It had been in the back in my mind for a while, but that morning it just broke through. So since that day I haven't touched a drink, making this day 5.
I wasn't really familiar with detox and withdrawal. Never really crossed my mind. I've read up on it now and from what I've read, my detox and withdrawal is relatively mild.
Day 1 and 2 I felt very sick. Throwing up, heartburn, diarrhea, no appetite, very little sleep. I had to stay at home. Couldn't eat. I did make sure I drank enough water though.
Day 3 I felt almost the opposite. I started to get hungry. I could leave the house, do groceries and ate a lot. I did start to feel anxiety, which was unfamiliar to me. I've never been a fearful or anxious kind of person and this anxiety was a surprise. Also, sleeping was difficult still.
Day 4. More eating. Anxiety diminishing. I felt relief and happiness instead about the fact that the drinking is over and that I'm getting back to a normal live. I did sleep poorly still though.
Today, day 5. Doing pretty well at the moment. Feeling tired but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. The world looks brighter even. I don't feel a need to eat so much anymore.
I'm going to take a couple of days of rest and when I have my energy back, I'm going to sign up for the gym. During all these years of drinking, my body must have become unhealthy. And I notice that my muscles have gotten weak because of all the just sitting down and being drunk. So I want to get my strength back.
So that's it so far. Now my question. I never, ever want to drink again. And I feel pretty confident I can do that on my own. But just in case, I want to have some options should I need them.
The only thing I know of is AA. But what else is there?
Nice to be part of this group!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: venice, Fl
Posts: 6
happyperson introdocution
Congrats on five days. I joined this group yesterday and have only been sober a little over 2 months, so I am not as well versed as others here. But as for me, I like hearing from people like you and me that are new to sobriety. I was in your same shoes and looking for guidance. I went to AA meetings everyday execpt Sundays for a year and a half. I know I am going to catch hell saying this. But I got burnt out. I grew tired of hearing the same people tell the same story over and over. I did learn lots at the meetings, but in the end used the meetings as an excuse to go to ABC and get a bottle of Vodka. (AA ended at 9:30, liquor store opened at 9:00) right on the way home. I think you made one great step joining this group. It shows you care. One of many things that AA taught me is that I should not think about life down the road. Every minute you spend not drinking is another minute of sobriety. I always wanted to be sober for years and years, but that seemed like such a lofty goal. So I lowered my goal to day by day. Each day, so far, I have met my goal. I also, was out of shape. I went from a walking mail man, 4 plus hours a day, in Florida, 100 plus degree weather, to sitting on my butt. I have joined a gym and work out about 3 hours a day. Not real heavy stuff. I have also gotten back in to photography. With digital cameras, I can take as many pictures as I want without cost. I can't stand to lay out on the beach, but I can take my little scoup and look for Sharks teeth all day. I have also gotten back in to reading. I go about once a week to Goodwill and look for books. (bought killing Jesus by Bill O'riely last week for a buck). Bottom line happy,,,, Stay busy. A body, and mind in motion, stays in motion. A body, and mind, in sleep, stays at sleep. (and also on the couch having a few shots of Vodka watching Walker Texas Rangers for hours. Take care. Keep in touch.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
to SR! Here are some of the recovery programs out there. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Hi happy...and welcome to SR! I, too, was a member of AA and was sober for many years with "the program"...(a few relapses in between). There is a link on this site called "non-secular" something....lots of options, besides AA. I do know about SMART recovery, AVRT, Rational Recovery and, of course, SR....This time, I am not using AA....relying primarily on these forums and so far it is working for me. When I first got sober in 1991, the only thing out there was AA, as far as I knew. Fortunately, these days there are many options. Just google non-AA recovery or something like that. Good luck to you! Hang in there....it gets better!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Great job on 5 days!! 
My withdrawal story is pretty similar, I had been drinking heavy for 5 years, so quitting cold turkey without needing medication was possible, incredible tiredness was as bad as it got!
The main thing is having a plan, what do we do now with alcohol out of the pcture, and make sure it doesn't come back in? AA is an option, there are other support groups, or as long as you direct your life into other positive activities, you mentioned going to the gym which would be a great alternative.
The last thing you want to be doing is sitting in every evening thinking about alcohol on you own, that won't endwell, even if it just means logging on and reading posts here on the Forum.
My withdrawal story is pretty similar, I had been drinking heavy for 5 years, so quitting cold turkey without needing medication was possible, incredible tiredness was as bad as it got!
The main thing is having a plan, what do we do now with alcohol out of the pcture, and make sure it doesn't come back in? AA is an option, there are other support groups, or as long as you direct your life into other positive activities, you mentioned going to the gym which would be a great alternative.
The last thing you want to be doing is sitting in every evening thinking about alcohol on you own, that won't endwell, even if it just means logging on and reading posts here on the Forum.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Naples Florida
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by happyperson 
Dear people,
I would like to take a moment to introduce myself, tell my story and I also have a question.
First of all, I'm a 38 year old male. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that my story is partly pretty standard.
5 years ago a close friend of mine passed away. Before that I hardly ever drank. Maybe a couple of glasses a year. A birthday. New Year's Eve. And not even on all occasions.
When my friend passed away, I of course felt a lot of grief. I took a drink to take the edge off. Big mistake. It spiraled out of control to the point where I was drinking most of the day, every day. It wasn't even because of the grief anymore, I had gotten addicted.
My life spiraled out of control as well. I was close to losing everything. There were too many close calls. I own two dogs and it had gotten so close to me not being able to afford food for them. That didn't happen fortunately, but had there been an emergency and one of the needed to go to the vet, there would have been a problem. I always had hardly any money because I spent it all on booze.
I've done some things I'm not proud of. Nothing terrible, but terribly embarrassing.
I started to look unhealthy and look, smell and act like an alcoholic. Always trying to hide it. Always living for the booze. All those things.
Last Saturday I woke up, hung over and realized that it couldn't go on like that anymore. It had been in the back in my mind for a while, but that morning it just broke through. So since that day I haven't touched a drink, making this day 5.
I wasn't really familiar with detox and withdrawal. Never really crossed my mind. I've read up on it now and from what I've read, my detox and withdrawal is relatively mild.
Day 1 and 2 I felt very sick. Throwing up, heartburn, diarrhea, no appetite, very little sleep. I had to stay at home. Couldn't eat. I did make sure I drank enough water though.
Day 3 I felt almost the opposite. I started to get hungry. I could leave the house, do groceries and ate a lot. I did start to feel anxiety, which was unfamiliar to me. I've never been a fearful or anxious kind of person and this anxiety was a surprise. Also, sleeping was difficult still.
Day 4. More eating. Anxiety diminishing. I felt relief and happiness instead about the fact that the drinking is over and that I'm getting back to a normal live. I did sleep poorly still though.
Today, day 5. Doing pretty well at the moment. Feeling tired but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. The world looks brighter even. I don't feel a need to eat so much anymore.
I'm going to take a couple of days of rest and when I have my energy back, I'm going to sign up for the gym. During all these years of drinking, my body must have become unhealthy. And I notice that my muscles have gotten weak because of all the just sitting down and being drunk. So I want to get my strength back.
So that's it so far. Now my question. I never, ever want to drink again. And I feel pretty confident I can do that on my own. But just in case, I want to have some options should I need them.
The only thing I know of is AA. But what else is there?
Nice to be part of this group!
I would like to take a moment to introduce myself, tell my story and I also have a question.
First of all, I'm a 38 year old male. I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that my story is partly pretty standard.
5 years ago a close friend of mine passed away. Before that I hardly ever drank. Maybe a couple of glasses a year. A birthday. New Year's Eve. And not even on all occasions.
When my friend passed away, I of course felt a lot of grief. I took a drink to take the edge off. Big mistake. It spiraled out of control to the point where I was drinking most of the day, every day. It wasn't even because of the grief anymore, I had gotten addicted.
My life spiraled out of control as well. I was close to losing everything. There were too many close calls. I own two dogs and it had gotten so close to me not being able to afford food for them. That didn't happen fortunately, but had there been an emergency and one of the needed to go to the vet, there would have been a problem. I always had hardly any money because I spent it all on booze.
I've done some things I'm not proud of. Nothing terrible, but terribly embarrassing.
I started to look unhealthy and look, smell and act like an alcoholic. Always trying to hide it. Always living for the booze. All those things.
Last Saturday I woke up, hung over and realized that it couldn't go on like that anymore. It had been in the back in my mind for a while, but that morning it just broke through. So since that day I haven't touched a drink, making this day 5.
I wasn't really familiar with detox and withdrawal. Never really crossed my mind. I've read up on it now and from what I've read, my detox and withdrawal is relatively mild.
Day 1 and 2 I felt very sick. Throwing up, heartburn, diarrhea, no appetite, very little sleep. I had to stay at home. Couldn't eat. I did make sure I drank enough water though.
Day 3 I felt almost the opposite. I started to get hungry. I could leave the house, do groceries and ate a lot. I did start to feel anxiety, which was unfamiliar to me. I've never been a fearful or anxious kind of person and this anxiety was a surprise. Also, sleeping was difficult still.
Day 4. More eating. Anxiety diminishing. I felt relief and happiness instead about the fact that the drinking is over and that I'm getting back to a normal live. I did sleep poorly still though.
Today, day 5. Doing pretty well at the moment. Feeling tired but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. The world looks brighter even. I don't feel a need to eat so much anymore.
I'm going to take a couple of days of rest and when I have my energy back, I'm going to sign up for the gym. During all these years of drinking, my body must have become unhealthy. And I notice that my muscles have gotten weak because of all the just sitting down and being drunk. So I want to get my strength back.
So that's it so far. Now my question. I never, ever want to drink again. And I feel pretty confident I can do that on my own. But just in case, I want to have some options should I need them.
The only thing I know of is AA. But what else is there?
Nice to be part of this group!
I recommend using certain nutrients high in protein and eating healthy foods because neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine are synthesized by nutrition. It think it will really make you feel better.
I also think that joining a support group is great- getting a social group that supports your recovery should help a lot.
Journey to Freedom
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 323
Unfortunately I live in an area where programs are scarce and expensive. I've made it a point pretty much to go with this all on my own. I've been researching why I'm addicted, what I can do about it, what the future holds, and most of all- I've been placing importance on my own spirituality. Just being able to forgive myself, forgive others and improve my opinion of myself has been a great start.
It's different for everyone. I was given mixed messages about AA since I was addicted to narcotics rather than alcohol and there are no NA meetings close to my home. I went to rehab once and spent $5,000 just to relapse. I am uncomfortable with the idea of finding a sponsor. I've made more progress by just being here and posting, sharing stories, etc.
It's different for everyone. Try what you can, keep what works.
It's different for everyone. I was given mixed messages about AA since I was addicted to narcotics rather than alcohol and there are no NA meetings close to my home. I went to rehab once and spent $5,000 just to relapse. I am uncomfortable with the idea of finding a sponsor. I've made more progress by just being here and posting, sharing stories, etc.
It's different for everyone. Try what you can, keep what works.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 49
Unfortunately I made the mistake of thinking that a beer couldn't hurt. I thought that the addiction wouldn't have any grip anymore and that I could just have a beer.
This wasn't even a rationalization. I really believed that. But I couldn't control it and had two more. This really surprised me.
I'm very uneducated when it comes to alcohol addiction. I really know hardly anything about it. So I thought that since I had quit the excessive drinking, I could enjoy just one.
So staying away from it forever is the key? In that case, tomorrow will be my new day 1 with the intent to not drink even a little bit for the rest of my life added in.
I appreciate the responses btw.
This wasn't even a rationalization. I really believed that. But I couldn't control it and had two more. This really surprised me.
I'm very uneducated when it comes to alcohol addiction. I really know hardly anything about it. So I thought that since I had quit the excessive drinking, I could enjoy just one.
So staying away from it forever is the key? In that case, tomorrow will be my new day 1 with the intent to not drink even a little bit for the rest of my life added in.
I appreciate the responses btw.
Journey to Freedom
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by happyperson
Unfortunately I made the mistake of thinking that a beer couldn't hurt. I thought that the addiction wouldn't have any grip anymore and that I could just have a beer.
This wasn't even a rationalization. I really believed that. But I couldn't control it and had two more. This really surprised me.
I'm very uneducated when it comes to alcohol addiction. I really know hardly anything about it. So I thought that since I had quit the excessive drinking, I could enjoy just one.
So staying away from it forever is the key? In that case, tomorrow will be my new day 1 with the intent to not drink even a little bit for the rest of my life added in.
I appreciate the responses btw.
This wasn't even a rationalization. I really believed that. But I couldn't control it and had two more. This really surprised me.
I'm very uneducated when it comes to alcohol addiction. I really know hardly anything about it. So I thought that since I had quit the excessive drinking, I could enjoy just one.
So staying away from it forever is the key? In that case, tomorrow will be my new day 1 with the intent to not drink even a little bit for the rest of my life added in.
I appreciate the responses btw.
For the time being it would probably be best to abstain completely. JMHO.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by LiaAc
Ohhhhh boy, I thought the same thing about pills. Moderation. I thought I could wean myself off and avoid the withdrawals. It's similar to enjoying just one.....and one becomes two, three, rinse and repeat.
For the time being it would probably be best to abstain completely. JMHO.
For the time being it would probably be best to abstain completely. JMHO.
Journey to Freedom
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by happyperson
I agree. I've already set my sobriety date to tomorrow on my profile. Helps with the dedication.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by LiaAc
That's really all it takes. Remember, you deserve this. You deserve peace and happiness. You deserve to be able to leave the past where it belongs, and the power to change today and the future. Stick around here, even if you find a program close by to attend in person. The chats here are wonderful. There are some pretty cool friends to be made. Best of all, we're all in the same boat. So you know that you're never alone.
I'm going to log off for today and take a huge nap. I'm suddenly exhausted from it all and the beers make me even more sleepy. And it helps to not drink. I've never slept and drank at the same time.
Time to sober up and come back tomorrow fresh and with a new start!
Journey to Freedom
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by happyperson
Thanks. Btw, I tried to reply to your PM, but I don't have enough posts on the forum yet to be allowed to respond to it. Soon as I do, I'll get back to you.
I'm going to log off for today and take a huge nap. I'm suddenly exhausted from it all and the beers make me even more sleepy. And it helps to not drink. I've never slept and drank at the same time.
Time to sober up and come back tomorrow fresh and with a new start!
I'm going to log off for today and take a huge nap. I'm suddenly exhausted from it all and the beers make me even more sleepy. And it helps to not drink. I've never slept and drank at the same time.
Time to sober up and come back tomorrow fresh and with a new start!
Good luck to you! Please come back tomorrow and tell us how you're doing!
Journey to Freedom
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern US
Posts: 323
Originally Posted by happyperson
Just woke up, ordered more beer and a bottle of wine for tomorrow. There goes my intended sobriety date.
I'm drinking. Tomorrow I'll be drinking at least a bottle. What can I do to stop it??
I'm drinking. Tomorrow I'll be drinking at least a bottle. What can I do to stop it??
Sometimes, though, we're not ready. That's why many of us have have attempted sobriety numerous times.
There is no judging here.
You do what you have to do. We will still be here to help you through.But.....I really want to see you fight this. We've all had to do it. You have to believe that you're worth fighting for.
Sometimes that's harder than defeating the addiction itself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Stop drinking now and dumping the bottle of wine unopened sound like a pretty good plan to me happyperson.
Nothing is pre-ordainied. You have the power to stop whenever you want.
That includes right now. This second.
Thats the bottom line really - how willing you are to make tough decisions and tough choices - what are you prepared to do to stay sober?
I don;t need to know, but those are the questions you need to ask yourself.
It's not easy getting sober and staying that way, but you're not alone here.
you can do this
welcome aboard
D
Nothing is pre-ordainied. You have the power to stop whenever you want.
That includes right now. This second.
Thats the bottom line really - how willing you are to make tough decisions and tough choices - what are you prepared to do to stay sober?
I don;t need to know, but those are the questions you need to ask yourself.
It's not easy getting sober and staying that way, but you're not alone here.
you can do this
welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
happyperson, here's the thing, it's time to get serious, forget this "I'll get sober tomorrow", if you have the will to get sober, now is the time.
The beer, the wine, time to flush it, or pour it down the sink, it's now or never, it is time to get sober!!
The beer, the wine, time to flush it, or pour it down the sink, it's now or never, it is time to get sober!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 49
@LiaAc and @Dee74, I feel like I can't stop
One thing to add is, and people will think I'm weird for this, I have severe OCD. I have to quit in one specific way at one specific moment. I need to drink one bottle of wine tomorrow otherwise something globally terrible will happen.
Call me nuts. Call me whatever. It's OCD combined with alcoholism. I'm simply being honest here.
One thing to add is, and people will think I'm weird for this, I have severe OCD. I have to quit in one specific way at one specific moment. I need to drink one bottle of wine tomorrow otherwise something globally terrible will happen.
Call me nuts. Call me whatever. It's OCD combined with alcoholism. I'm simply being honest here.
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