I feel so down...........is it worth it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: somewhere
Posts: 917
I feel so down...........is it worth it
hey,
thanks Namommy and Paulie . u r really great.i really appreciate someone standing by myside at this point of my life.u know if u ever before asked me whether i wil take drugs i would have definately said no.i was nearly evrything except the girl u r seeing now. u know i got a D on my exam. i feel so bad and that as if everything ended to me although it was just one exam.i feel so vulnerable .i feel that i can't handle anything bad.i used to rely completely on my parents.U know the exams already depressed me .i really feel that i can't stand it,this confusion .It's so terrible.It's something owful to know that when u sudenly found u r guy ,he turns out like that.i didnt deserve that.i feel like walking blind in underground path.u r probably sick of hearing all these **** but i'm really feeling bad.i can't tell this to anyone.i donn dare.my bf deprived me of every single faith and happiness i used to have.i used to be a girl full of life.actually all the guys tell me that i'm beautiful and wanna talk to me but due to him i hated my self and started to see bad things only.u know i never had a mother and he was like a mom to me.he stood beside me.my dad was so strict and never understood anything but achievment.He was evrything to me.God didn't want to give me that either.no one must blame me.i tried to be a good girl but i'm sick and tired of that.i just wanted him near me.life is so lonely without him.i donn wanna any other guy cause i won't be able to talk toi him the way i talk with my bf.i'm sorry for all this mess but i needed to talk to someone.i'm jsut spending my days crying.u know if i fail in college i can never stand it.i guess that's way i liked coke .i really feel that i want some know but i'm not willing to destroy my life.i guess i msut start using my ******* brain.
thanks Namommy and Paulie . u r really great.i really appreciate someone standing by myside at this point of my life.u know if u ever before asked me whether i wil take drugs i would have definately said no.i was nearly evrything except the girl u r seeing now. u know i got a D on my exam. i feel so bad and that as if everything ended to me although it was just one exam.i feel so vulnerable .i feel that i can't handle anything bad.i used to rely completely on my parents.U know the exams already depressed me .i really feel that i can't stand it,this confusion .It's so terrible.It's something owful to know that when u sudenly found u r guy ,he turns out like that.i didnt deserve that.i feel like walking blind in underground path.u r probably sick of hearing all these **** but i'm really feeling bad.i can't tell this to anyone.i donn dare.my bf deprived me of every single faith and happiness i used to have.i used to be a girl full of life.actually all the guys tell me that i'm beautiful and wanna talk to me but due to him i hated my self and started to see bad things only.u know i never had a mother and he was like a mom to me.he stood beside me.my dad was so strict and never understood anything but achievment.He was evrything to me.God didn't want to give me that either.no one must blame me.i tried to be a good girl but i'm sick and tired of that.i just wanted him near me.life is so lonely without him.i donn wanna any other guy cause i won't be able to talk toi him the way i talk with my bf.i'm sorry for all this mess but i needed to talk to someone.i'm jsut spending my days crying.u know if i fail in college i can never stand it.i guess that's way i liked coke .i really feel that i want some know but i'm not willing to destroy my life.i guess i msut start using my ******* brain.
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
((jane)) I am sorry you are feeling down..How long have you been clean ?I was hooked on the drug you shared about ( I was hooked on everything )It takes awhile to level off from.In the meantime are you doing something to work on your recovery today?I know the b3e3ginig is rough and I am puliin for you and sendin prayer your way.It is so worth it..hang in there..Trish
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: somewhere
Posts: 917
u know it's not the drugs that r the reason, it's the confusion.i never took drugs in my whole life except these days .......taht's i've oly used coke for 3 times or 4 . The point is that i liked the thing and the high it produced but i'm scared of being hooked to it so all the time i'm thinking should I go or not go.i have decided to leave my bf but i'm currently feeling so low and i'm afraid that previously i had the immune against it but now they may convince me to try it.i'm not hooked on it but my bf's friends who became my friends are .It's tough to see them doing and jsut watch.actually at this point i'm feeling so lost and that's why i'm trying to stay away from it.i donn wanna do anything and regret later when it's too late.that's why i need someone jsut to encourage me .they've became everything to me.my bf says that he quit 2 years ago but i donn believe him.u know just by writting ,even if no one reply i feel like i'm relieved.i'm too shy to tell this to anyone face by face.i jau wanna ask if a person thin ks about drugs does it means he is hooked,maybe he's jsut remebering the good times
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
Hi Jane,
It sounds like you're feeling vulnerable right now, but you know what is the right thing to do. I think you like the feeling and it scares you. And, that's a good thing. You're scared of drugs for a good reason. They could lead you in a very bad direction. And, if a person thinks about drugs it doesn't mean you're hooked, but the fact you're just remembering the good times tells me something. You need to find other good times to remember, not just the drug 'good times'. I'm an alcoholic, but I know that if you start thinking about drugs and remembering good times, you are surely vulnerable to falling into something bad. Before long, all I could think about was drinking - how, when, where would be the next drink and my life dwindled away to almost nothing.
You have a sense of the right thing to do. Hang around here and get to know us.
Love, Anna
It sounds like you're feeling vulnerable right now, but you know what is the right thing to do. I think you like the feeling and it scares you. And, that's a good thing. You're scared of drugs for a good reason. They could lead you in a very bad direction. And, if a person thinks about drugs it doesn't mean you're hooked, but the fact you're just remembering the good times tells me something. You need to find other good times to remember, not just the drug 'good times'. I'm an alcoholic, but I know that if you start thinking about drugs and remembering good times, you are surely vulnerable to falling into something bad. Before long, all I could think about was drinking - how, when, where would be the next drink and my life dwindled away to almost nothing.
You have a sense of the right thing to do. Hang around here and get to know us.
Love, Anna
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