My mother lost the house
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
My mother lost the house Hey Family,
Well...as many of you may know from previous posts...I decided not to go home to my mom this summer or ever again. I am staying at a local college campus through a Catholic Charities program. Things have been going okay you know. This weekend my mom told me that she lost the house.
Now...I know I am not staying at my mother's house but I feel really sad about this. I feel homeless and the little bit of security there was in knowing there was a home to go to...albiet a messy home that I would rather not live in...it was a last option. I just want to be on my own. Even though I am staying away from her, I am still her dependent and I want to be an adult now. I want my own home. I want a home. A place to call home.
I am tired of living in dorms and hopping from one place to another. At the end of this month I have to pack everything up and move to another dorm so that they can renovate the one that I currently stay in. Then of course I have to move back into school. I am so sick of moving from place to place and grabbing up all my stuff so regularly and moving from place to place. *sigh* I just feel so sad and tired.
Her losing the house is really just a slap in the face. It is a good thing I decided not to live with her this summer. She has to move out this thursday and she is moving into my disgruntled alcoholic uncle's house. I dont feel welcomed there. That is definitely not my home.
I am tired of eating the way I do. Eating oodles of noodles and cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Maybe I will feel much better when I go back to school in the fall and at least there is real food there. Not homecooked but not oodles of noodles either. I wont have to move anywhere for eight full months. But then next summer will come and I will be homeless again.
Part of me wants to drop out of school and get a good job so I can have my own apartment, so I can have my own kitchen, bathroom, living room, dining room...groceries...I want health insurance, dental insurance. A loving family would be nice. Maybe someone could adopt me...but I am technically a grown up but when I apply for financial aid and health insurance I have to get my mom's info and she is so terrible with the paper work. She gives me such a hard time and all she has to do is sign her name.
Sorry...this probably sounds very jumbled...I just cant wait to be done with school so I can move on with my life. I feel so torn inside and I am so very sick of struggling.
~Def
Well...as many of you may know from previous posts...I decided not to go home to my mom this summer or ever again. I am staying at a local college campus through a Catholic Charities program. Things have been going okay you know. This weekend my mom told me that she lost the house.
Now...I know I am not staying at my mother's house but I feel really sad about this. I feel homeless and the little bit of security there was in knowing there was a home to go to...albiet a messy home that I would rather not live in...it was a last option. I just want to be on my own. Even though I am staying away from her, I am still her dependent and I want to be an adult now. I want my own home. I want a home. A place to call home.
I am tired of living in dorms and hopping from one place to another. At the end of this month I have to pack everything up and move to another dorm so that they can renovate the one that I currently stay in. Then of course I have to move back into school. I am so sick of moving from place to place and grabbing up all my stuff so regularly and moving from place to place. *sigh* I just feel so sad and tired.
Her losing the house is really just a slap in the face. It is a good thing I decided not to live with her this summer. She has to move out this thursday and she is moving into my disgruntled alcoholic uncle's house. I dont feel welcomed there. That is definitely not my home.
I am tired of eating the way I do. Eating oodles of noodles and cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Maybe I will feel much better when I go back to school in the fall and at least there is real food there. Not homecooked but not oodles of noodles either. I wont have to move anywhere for eight full months. But then next summer will come and I will be homeless again.
Part of me wants to drop out of school and get a good job so I can have my own apartment, so I can have my own kitchen, bathroom, living room, dining room...groceries...I want health insurance, dental insurance. A loving family would be nice. Maybe someone could adopt me...but I am technically a grown up but when I apply for financial aid and health insurance I have to get my mom's info and she is so terrible with the paper work. She gives me such a hard time and all she has to do is sign her name.
Sorry...this probably sounds very jumbled...I just cant wait to be done with school so I can move on with my life. I feel so torn inside and I am so very sick of struggling.
~Def
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Star's Hollow
Posts: 615
(((Def))))
I'm so sorry that you're having a bad day. I know it's sad when your house is gone. My dad sold the house I grew up in a couple of years ago and I was surprised to be so sad - I'm 43 for goodness sake !!!
I tell my girls that sometimes sacrifices have to be made to achieve something we really want. Choices have to be made. Instant gratification always seems wonderful but sometimes it's not the best choice.
Here's what I used to do - maybe it will help. Get a notebook. Start cutting pictures out of magazines - how you're going to decorate your apartment, what's the first big meal you're going to cook when you move in? What are you wearing for your first job interview? What kind of pet are you going to get when you move into a house? What will you plant in your flower garden when you buy your first house? What will your first new car look like?
Carry that notebook around with you and fill it to the brim. Whenever you start wishing, pull it out and start planning. Somehow, when I actually start thinking about how things will be, it makes it easier to work really hard to get there. You WILL get there.
Hope you have a much better day and stay in school !!! (I sound like a mom.)
L
I'm so sorry that you're having a bad day. I know it's sad when your house is gone. My dad sold the house I grew up in a couple of years ago and I was surprised to be so sad - I'm 43 for goodness sake !!!
I tell my girls that sometimes sacrifices have to be made to achieve something we really want. Choices have to be made. Instant gratification always seems wonderful but sometimes it's not the best choice.
Here's what I used to do - maybe it will help. Get a notebook. Start cutting pictures out of magazines - how you're going to decorate your apartment, what's the first big meal you're going to cook when you move in? What are you wearing for your first job interview? What kind of pet are you going to get when you move into a house? What will you plant in your flower garden when you buy your first house? What will your first new car look like?
Carry that notebook around with you and fill it to the brim. Whenever you start wishing, pull it out and start planning. Somehow, when I actually start thinking about how things will be, it makes it easier to work really hard to get there. You WILL get there.
Hope you have a much better day and stay in school !!! (I sound like a mom.)
L
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
(((Def)))
I'm so sorry that you're feeling lost right now.
It's not going to be this way forever, okay?
It's just this way right now.
I'm glad you made your decision to live elsewhere before your Mom lost the house.
Keep the faith Def.
I'm keeping it for you too.
Gabe
I'm so sorry that you're feeling lost right now.
It's not going to be this way forever, okay?
It's just this way right now.
I'm glad you made your decision to live elsewhere before your Mom lost the house.
Keep the faith Def.
I'm keeping it for you too.
Gabe
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
I dream and dream and I make plans but I am so tired of struggling and something has really got to give. I dunno...I have to find some kind of solution. I want to break all ties to her. I want out of this situation. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
I know how you feel Def. I worry each day not if, but when are we going to start losing things due my AW's drinking. It's scary.
But hang in there. Life is odd, and things do always seem the darkest, just before it gets bright. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
But hang in there. Life is odd, and things do always seem the darkest, just before it gets bright. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Sulphur LA
Posts: 47
((((Def)))
I am so sorry this has happened.
I put myself through college also. My situation wasn't nearly as stressfull as yours but I can relate to what it feels like. I remember being so freaking tired of pinching pennies and I lost a lot of weight because I wasn't eating well. Yes, at times, it was tempting to quit and go to work. I was so glad I stuck it out, though. It really will be worth everything you are going through.
Is there a way you can sit down and talk to someone in financial aid? Explain what your circumstance is and ask if there is a way that you can declare yourself independant of your mom. I had some friends that did this when they were 18 & 19. It was the only way they could get financial assistance. That was quite a while back so I don't know if the laws and/or regs have changed since then.
I am so sorry this has happened.
I put myself through college also. My situation wasn't nearly as stressfull as yours but I can relate to what it feels like. I remember being so freaking tired of pinching pennies and I lost a lot of weight because I wasn't eating well. Yes, at times, it was tempting to quit and go to work. I was so glad I stuck it out, though. It really will be worth everything you are going through.
Is there a way you can sit down and talk to someone in financial aid? Explain what your circumstance is and ask if there is a way that you can declare yourself independant of your mom. I had some friends that did this when they were 18 & 19. It was the only way they could get financial assistance. That was quite a while back so I don't know if the laws and/or regs have changed since then.
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Thanx everybody. In order for me to make it through this summer I am going to have to seriously take things one day at a time you know? I really cant go on thinking about getting out of this situation. I got to think about my blessings. Like I said...at least I dont live there anymore so it is not affecting me directly. I feel better now and I believe I have come to terms with it. So each day I am going to take it step by step and enjoy the summer the best way I possibly can. Besides...I have got good news. My sweet boyfriend is coming to visit me this week. He is having a hard time too so we can comfort each other. I cant wait till he getz here.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
any chance you could be declared an "emanicipated minor"? For all intents and purposes, you are taking care of yourself and are independent. I'd call the dept of human services or talk to someone in the financial aid department. I bet you can find some assistance if you keep on looking
You're doing the right thing by staying in school. Its a few more years of hardship, but BOY will you be glad you did it!!
Hugs
Barb
You're doing the right thing by staying in school. Its a few more years of hardship, but BOY will you be glad you did it!!
Hugs
Barb
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Posts: 387
defofLov,
Soory to hear that your mom lost the house. I know it can be scary. My dad is laid off right now I am just wanting for the money to run out again. My dad is my alcoholic and things do get rough but kept your head up things will get better. Don't quit school you need school so you can get a good job. Hang in there.
shana
Soory to hear that your mom lost the house. I know it can be scary. My dad is laid off right now I am just wanting for the money to run out again. My dad is my alcoholic and things do get rough but kept your head up things will get better. Don't quit school you need school so you can get a good job. Hang in there.
shana
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