Scott6433

I guess I have had some sort of vague understanding or suspicion all along. Tonight simply allowed me to be able to put at all into somewhat of a coherent thought and hopes for a plan of action. As I'm sure we are all aware our drinking and drug problems just didn't come out of the blue. Thanks to the help of a yet unwatched documentary, I think I have cracked the case. It took me quite a while to start getting even a sneaking suspicion that something was a bit off. Not even my very first therapy appointment when I was in high school (far before my first drink or drug use) did anything to truly start allowing me to see the big picture as he just assured me I was perfectly normal. My first appointment ever was not made by me as it typically would not be at that age. It was made by my mother. Why?, you may be asking as with me personally depression or anxiety would surely would be the answer. Although certainly components that was not why she deemed me in need of such help. It was the fact that for months if not years I had been secretly making obscene phone calls to girls I went to school with. Quite obsessively and almost without knowing why I had no control over it, I'm now able to admit to myself and you. The girls I would call were girls I felt were far out of my league so as to almost guarantee rejection thus allowing me to continue the cycle. I will spare you the rest of that story for now. I think it's understood what I am spelling out thanks to again an unwatched doc. It's called SHAME by Steve Mcqueen and no not the cool one, different guy. At any rate apparently sex and love addiction is a very real thing and treated very much the same as any other addiction via a 12 step program primarily. I gather at this point it stems from abandonment of typically the opposite sex parent. BINGO. Wondering if anyone else out there has experienced any similar feelings and if so anything they have done or are doing to get help. This in fact has proven to be the egg that came before the chicken for me so I really want to get a jump on it. I've hit a pretty solid nerve here for me and it feels ok.

Dee74

I have no experience with sex addixction but I think most of us have experience with a couple of different manifestations of addiction Scott.

I had to work on all my problems at once - both the underlying factors that drove me to addiction, and the various addictions that sprang from that, otherwise it was 3 steps forward and 4 steps back...

have you got a plan to deal with your sex addiction at all?

D

Scott6433

Step 1 I'm going to get a hold of this movie then I'm going to check into some SLAA stuff and see what it's all about. It's coupled with love addiction which makes perfect sense to me now re: my obsession with relationships and of course the concept of love as I misunderstand it now etc. I guess it's just refreshing to be able to finally put a solid finger on one of those if not the main underlying issue for me personally. I would love to find an online resource like this one as there don't appear to be any meetings for that sort of thing in my area.

Dee74

there ya go - they have online meetings too

Find an S.L.A.A. Meeting Near You | Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

D

Threshold

If you can get a hold of a copy of "The White Book" the basic text of Sex Addicts Anonymous, do it. You can purchase it online.

It has THE most spot on explanation of how addiction in general manifests and of course, deals with addressing sex addiction in any form. The main story of the writer begins in a manner similar to yours, at a young age.

Recognizing our issues is a great first step. There IS recovery.

Inca

I know quite a few people who are not only in AA but also attend SLAA meetings. For them, sex and love and alcohol/drugs are interchangeable so it's helps them to get support for both at the same time.

Lifeisforliving

"Out Of The Shadows" by Patrick Carnes helped give me an unbelievable understanding of sex addiction when my ex-husband disclosed his double life to me. I would recommend anything by Carnes.

There's kind of a new approach on the scene that I've also heard fabulous things about. Google Milton Magness - especially if you have a partner.