Back Again! Just finally over it. Ready to feel better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
Back Again! Just finally over it. Ready to feel better.
Hello again SR friends. It has been a while since I last visited this site and posted. In fact I was just reading my old posts and it made me realize how much my life has changed in just a year. In the past I would feel the urge to quit when I got wasted and did something stupid, or upset someone, or had anxiety from withdraws. It was like I needed some horrible thing to happen to get me to want to quit drinking. And I would quit for a while and feel really good. But like most of you all know you get that feeling like you are in control and can slowly start to drink again and not loose control and then before you know it you are right back where you were before. Luckily nothing horrible has happened recently for me to want to stop. For once its just because I am over it.
I was at a Christmas party the other night and I put my drink down and went and got a water and one of my close "friends" started giving me crap for drinking water and then started pressuring me to have another drink. Who does that? It really upset me. I found myself sitting back and looking at her and at everyone getting wasted and it just hit me, I didnt want to be that person. I dont want that life anymore. I dont want to party that way. I dont want to get blackout drunk. I dont want to be hungover. I dont want to waste days recovering. I dont want any of it. Its not the life I want anymore.
I want to feel healthy. I want to feel rested. I want to feel happy and productive with my life. I want to make memories that dont start with "This one time when I was drunk..." I want a better life.
I know what I need to do. I know its going to be hard and I am most likely going to loose some friends in the process and miss out on some great times and I know its going to be so hard at first but I just know in my heart that the life of the drunk girl who cant get water without having some one make a rude comment or waste a Sunday being too hungover to function is not the life I want to live.
Wish me luck SR friends.
I was at a Christmas party the other night and I put my drink down and went and got a water and one of my close "friends" started giving me crap for drinking water and then started pressuring me to have another drink. Who does that? It really upset me. I found myself sitting back and looking at her and at everyone getting wasted and it just hit me, I didnt want to be that person. I dont want that life anymore. I dont want to party that way. I dont want to get blackout drunk. I dont want to be hungover. I dont want to waste days recovering. I dont want any of it. Its not the life I want anymore.
I want to feel healthy. I want to feel rested. I want to feel happy and productive with my life. I want to make memories that dont start with "This one time when I was drunk..." I want a better life.
I know what I need to do. I know its going to be hard and I am most likely going to loose some friends in the process and miss out on some great times and I know its going to be so hard at first but I just know in my heart that the life of the drunk girl who cant get water without having some one make a rude comment or waste a Sunday being too hungover to function is not the life I want to live.
Wish me luck SR friends.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Amazing perspective Sarah, a real moment of clarity!!
I'd add that who wants friends that put pressure on you, rather than respecting your choice not to have a drink! Sometimes the issue of not drinking, that others create out of nothing, reflects how deep or how lacking a friendship can be.
Great job on ordering the water!!
I'd add that who wants friends that put pressure on you, rather than respecting your choice not to have a drink! Sometimes the issue of not drinking, that others create out of nothing, reflects how deep or how lacking a friendship can be.
Great job on ordering the water!!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 5
Thanks for the post Sara23. Great job making the conscious choice to put down the drink at the christmas party and pick up a water. You're body thanks you for that choice. The people in your life who give a hard time about not drinking are often just trying to justify their own choice to drink. I know when I quit drinking, I started to realize that the activity I did the most with the bulk of my close friends was go to pubs and drink. When I stopped I would still go out with them and I would tell them I wasn't drinking but they would still buy me drinks and place them in front of me as if I was denying my true self. Also when I told some drinking buddies that I thought I had a problem with alcohol they would respond as if I were lying to them, they didn't believe me, they would buy drinks essentially challenging me to prove it. But i have found that if you stay strong and stick to your guns those friends develop a new type of respect for you and may even begin to question their own peer pressuring behavior. Again, great job on putting down the drink. Stay strong, you can do it! 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
Welcome, Sara. I have those types of people in my life too, the ones who will criticize me if I choose to drink water. I guess I brought it on myself, because I was never one to refuse to get blackout drunk over the past 15 years. The important thing is to put sobriety #1 - nothing else is this important. I feel you have to be able to choose sobriety over anybody - the people who are worth it won't make you choose, anyway.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
Thank you so much for all of the love everyone! It really means a lot to me. I did a lot of thinking last night as I layed in bed unable to sleep (guessing that is part of the hangover/recovery process) and made a mental list of all of the reasons why I didn't want to drink anymore and why the sober life is just what is right for me. Then I sat there and thought of my friends and who I could be sober with. Sadly I have none. Which made me stop and re-evaluate my friendships. They are not bad people or bad friends. They are actually great people and great friends. But they love to party and drink. And they drink hard. And I just can't be around that anymore. So as sad as it for me to realize that I probably won't be able to hang out with some of my friends for a long time, if ever if things don't change, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make if it means I have a shot (no pun intended) on a normal happy and healthy life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: BC
Posts: 557
I've had to stop hanging out with a very good friend since I quit three weeks ago and it hurts my heart because she is going through a rough time right now. But unfortunately she is a drinking buddy and I can't go there ... not yet. It was a choice I had to make because my sobriety is worth it. One day, I am hoping we can hang out but the chance is slim since every time I go to her place "it's 5:00 somewhere ... right?" and the drinks start flowing. I feel for you Sara ... I'm in a very similar spot. All of my friends are drinkers ... that's what we did. It's hard to turn your back on that, especially during the holiday season. Stay strong and hang out with your new friends here at SR
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