samross

i need help i dont drink all the time but when i do i black out cant remember a thing and forget about the important things in my life i have numerously messed up and caused my girlfriend pain and suffering she is now pregnant and i dont want to basicly be a rubbish father figure that wakes up in the gutter having no reccolation of the night before ive never considered myslef alcoholic but i often crave it and when i drink its never just one pint i cant help but have atleast 9-10 pints to the point when i dont n=know what im doing my parnter has left me today for good this time i fear i was a heavy drug and alcohol abuser and think if i fall into my old ways ill end up with nothing with nobody who wants to help me as i constantly let people down due to alcohlol im starting to suffer with personality worries with alcohol will people still like me if im sober?,will i have any friends left? but its come to the point where if i dont do anything i literaly will end up killing myself through my actions i really need help what is the best way to do so like i say im not so much a constant drinker but when i can i go for it as such i feel like ive got no one now i want to be a good dad and boyfriend but its got to stop the black outs get more severe now and the whole night feels erased i have no idea what ive done , i self harmed last night which i havnt done since i was atleast 17 im now 27 when i found the note saying she was leaving me i wanted to kill myself but could not go thorough with it as all i could think about was my unborn child so im left with hesitation marks on my arm this is really out of charicter for me but im left with a lot of self hatred at the moment this really is a cry for help i need any possible it feels like the worst time of year to go sober and my family really go for it this time of of year i dont think they understand the effect it is having on my life ive opened up to my dad before but he is not much help as he drinks regulary it does feel like something is inside me waiting to get out and as soon as there is alcocol around it gets unleashed i leteraly hate myself and wouldnt care less if i was dead the only thing keeping me alive is my partner and the prospect that we might actually get back together and my unborn child i love them so much but its getting harder help please

Dee74

Hi Sam and welcome to SR

I see you're in the UK - have you seen your GP? that's often the first step to getting help there.

It's never too late to turn things around, and while noone can say for sure what might happen with you and your gf, I really believe it's also never too late to be the kind of partner and Dad you want to be either.

there's a ton of support here - and ideas of where to find more face to face more support too.

D

samross

i havnt ever spoke to anyone about it seriously i havnt spoke to my gp about alcohol before i know it sounds silly but im embarressed about it

i think a face to face would be the best logical step but for now i just need to talk i feel like jakyll and hyde at the moment when i drink im a horrible person but if im sober i feel like im genuinely a nice person i just need help on dealing with social situations and coming to terms with the fact that when i drink "this time will not be different"

FeelingGreat

Hi Samross, you know what you need to do. You are having a time of clarity and remorse, but to take it further you will have to do more that just feel sorry for yourself. There is a way ahead and many many people have followed it and recovered.
Firstly, do you have access to any support over the holiday period? How about seeing your doctor, and finding out what's available? Make plans to see your family before they get too far into the drink. Even if you spend the rest of the day alone, it's better than binging again.
Maybe you need to work with a professional and find out why you behave this way. Whatever you do it's not easy, but it's necessary to stop the self-hate and become the father and partner your family deserves.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR, SR
When waking up in the gutter is less embarrassing than talking to your doctor about your problem - well that confirms the problem, eh?

Wanting to get better is the first step. Best of Luck on the rest of your journey!

samross

i think that seeing my family before the drinks start flowing is a good idea and makes a lot of sense

what is the best way to get into seeing a professional

even if i turn it around i can never erase the damage done so i dont think the self hate will ever really go away id like to point out that i have never physicaly hurt my partner i would never do that but the emotional damage caused by my drinking is bad enough

samross

its not that i dont know that waking up in the gutter is embarrassing its just opening up to others about my problem is hard and i allways fear that i wont be taken seriously

afloatsober

Samross
You can turn this around but it takes effort on you part my friend. Stopping drinking alcohol is the first step. You may need help with the withrawal process and speaking honestly with your doctor is a good start. We are as sick as our secrets, and nobody can help if they don't know whats wrong.
The blackness that you see around you now is an illusion, it is not reality. Your reality, the real you warts and all will be revealed when you decide to change this. Whatever it takes.
You can do it.
It gets ever blacker if we decide to continue down this dark path of illusion, loss and pain.
But you can decide that you have travelled far enough.
What awaits if you step into the light and are true to the REAL you is amazing.
What have you got to lose by trying? By not trying the cost could be all that you hold dear. It was for me.
But today i won't drink and i WILL be a better man for it.
Give it a go fella.
G

Thepatman

One thing I can say is that logically speaking, you have a 100% chance to getting sober will help resolve a hole bunch of issues in your life, not immediately but with work it's a done deal.

You also have 100% chance that if you keep going, that you will loose:
Your GF for good
A chance to be a father
Your Health mental and physical
Relationships
Your life

Choice is yours, you have new friends here on SR, we will do everything we can to support you.

samross

really wise words guys thankyou

Thepatman

We are not wiser than you BTW. ;-)

We just want to help you avoid the misery we lived if we can.
I bet you my next pay check that If you do this you will be the one helping others sooner than you think ;-)

The recovery will go as fast as the strength of your resolve. What you put in, the recovery will return double the benefits.

I am a father man, it's the most Awsome thing in the world. Have yourself a good cry and listen to this, then call your GF and start picking up the broken peices

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SUHSX5LmNoE

samross

yeah i think bieng a dad is going to be my vessel on my journey to bieng sober

afloatsober

Sam
patman is right. We don't really share our wisdom. We share our experience and hope. We have been there and that is our qualification to feel confident about helping you not go there.
And showing you that it can, and is, being done. This business is life or death and if you choose life for yourself and your loved ones then you will need help.
Many of us here (and out in that world that perhaps seems a bit alien to you now) can and will help if you take that leap of faith friend...
G

afloatsober

And sam

U TUBE 'Amazing' by aerosmith. Helps me sometimes....
G

samross

just been speaking to my uncle he had similar problems and he said he was hypnotised to stop drinking have any of you guys tried this?

afloatsober

Fella
There are many sources of help.Check out this site and you will find info on many of them. Never tried hypnotherapy.Have found a way tho.
Most important is that you commit totally to getting sober and well. This has to start with your decision to change things.
I went to my GP and got help, had detox and rehab, attend AA and take part, and come here daily. I have changed job, some friends, and try to occupy my time with good, positive stuff.
But you will find what works for you if you want it enough.
I am at the beginning.......... but fella it is so much better.
G

Thepatman

Not me. But make no mistake my dear friend, there is no magic solution for this, no easy way out. Searching for an easy solution is futile and will serve you no purpose. If hypnosis works, everyone here would have done it years ago. Sobriety takes a lot more work I think.

Do you wan't to stop drinking? Now that is the question your need to answer with a definitive yes or no for yourself, not for us, not for your unborn child, not for your GF, oncle. what do YOU want?

Nonsensical

Of course.

But it's a common trait of addiction to exaggerate the pain/fear/embarrassment of getting help to get sober and to minimize (or even forget) the pain/fear/embarrassment of the negative consequences of past and continued alcohol use.

If you step back and look at the two situations:
Waking up in gutter
Talking to a doctor about a serious health condition

There's no comparison. But many many many of us (and I am no exception) put off asking for help because that seems riskier to us than continued use. That's addicted thinking, plain and simple.

Congratulations on your child, and the motivation that he/she is providing you. There are many paths to sobriety. This forum is an excellent place to learn about them. Knowledge is power, as they say.

best of luck!

EndGameNYC

I can pretty much guarantee that hypnosis alone will not work. The fact that there are a handful of people who claim otherwise doesn't change this.

If you're not working on your sobriety, if you're not serious about quitting and everything else that's involved in achieving sobriety, including a complete psychic change, if you're not building a reliable support system, and if you're not committed to not picking up that next drink no matter what, then you're just wasting your money.

Any good hypnotherapist will tell you that hypnotism is only a piece of the puzzle, a tool that can help you in your determination to achieve sobriety, and nothing more. And then, of course, there are many people who get nothing from it at all.

NoJimmy

Yes to what the others said. Not long ago my drinking created nearly the same situation you have. I engaged a program to quit drinking, what I have discovered in a short time is that recovery is really about addressing issues of why we drink. Drinking isn't my problem, but rather what I chose to mask the problem.
Hypnotism won't solve the root problem, the only options I am aware of are continue being a drunk, a dry drunk, or sober with much hard work. I'm choosing the later, and I recommend it highly.