Haven't been on in a while
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 236
Haven't been on in a while
Hello SR friends,
I haven't been on in quite some some. Started a new job in September after getting laid off for the 2nd time this year on August and have been putting all my focus into making that work out since it's a temp job and trying my hardest to get hired on permanently.
Things with the AH haven't changed much (do they ever really?). Things escalated a few weeks ago and well, lets just say my screen name says it all. We have 15 months left on our lease and at that time I'm packing my bags and moving on. It's a decision that's been coming for a long time I just haven't been brave enough to really make it. Just have to have that much time to gather the necessary funds. That, and I don't want the ding on my credit for an abandoned lease. It's weird, being married to someone, living in the same house, and looking at them like some kind of clingy roommate.
The event that triggered this was probably innocent enough, maybe a tiny bit of over reaction. He was drunk, as usual, cooking on the deep fryer (not a great combo) and the handle to the basket came undone. I was trying to fix it for him and he pushed me out of the way and I fell over the trashcan and into the wall. No physical harm done, but it was enough of a trigger to tell me this is never going to get any better. I ended up entertaining our friends who were visiting until they left and went to bed, not really speaking to him much. The next morning he for the life of him, could not figure out why I was so ticked off. I reminded him of what happened and he apologized of course. And then avoided me the rest of the day. I think the biggest thing was his under-reaction. How do you not, for lack of a better term, kiss someones butt when you do that to them? Well, when you don't give a crap, that's what happens.
So, for now I'm stuck, working on getting the finances in order so I can get the heck out of dodge. I don't feel I'm in any kind of danger or I would have left already. But, I know I cannot continue on like this anymore and be here when the situation does become dangerous. I see now that is exactly where we are headed if I stay.
I haven't been on in quite some some. Started a new job in September after getting laid off for the 2nd time this year on August and have been putting all my focus into making that work out since it's a temp job and trying my hardest to get hired on permanently.
Things with the AH haven't changed much (do they ever really?). Things escalated a few weeks ago and well, lets just say my screen name says it all. We have 15 months left on our lease and at that time I'm packing my bags and moving on. It's a decision that's been coming for a long time I just haven't been brave enough to really make it. Just have to have that much time to gather the necessary funds. That, and I don't want the ding on my credit for an abandoned lease. It's weird, being married to someone, living in the same house, and looking at them like some kind of clingy roommate.
The event that triggered this was probably innocent enough, maybe a tiny bit of over reaction. He was drunk, as usual, cooking on the deep fryer (not a great combo) and the handle to the basket came undone. I was trying to fix it for him and he pushed me out of the way and I fell over the trashcan and into the wall. No physical harm done, but it was enough of a trigger to tell me this is never going to get any better. I ended up entertaining our friends who were visiting until they left and went to bed, not really speaking to him much. The next morning he for the life of him, could not figure out why I was so ticked off. I reminded him of what happened and he apologized of course. And then avoided me the rest of the day. I think the biggest thing was his under-reaction. How do you not, for lack of a better term, kiss someones butt when you do that to them? Well, when you don't give a crap, that's what happens.
So, for now I'm stuck, working on getting the finances in order so I can get the heck out of dodge. I don't feel I'm in any kind of danger or I would have left already. But, I know I cannot continue on like this anymore and be here when the situation does become dangerous. I see now that is exactly where we are headed if I stay.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
You're not overreacting. As adults, its me we appropriate to put your hands on another person. My AH grabbed my arm and twisted it and I was advised by a police officer friend to call and report him. At first I thought I was overreacting and being dramatic because he didn't "hit" me or "beat" me but getting physical in an aggressive manner is NEVER okay.
Good for you for having a plan to get out. And if he ever shoves you again, please call the police. Hugs.
Good for you for having a plan to get out. And if he ever shoves you again, please call the police. Hugs.
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