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day 1 again

Old 12-13-2013, 01:12 AM
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day 1 again

I totally cocked up last night.
It was my first shift off for ages n i was cooking and thought that I would be ok cooking with Wine but no no I wasn't.
I'm sick of alcohol I really am I'm sick of been an idiot I really don't know why I bother with anything.
I've been doing so well since coming on here with just one slip up but yet again I drank.
Why can't I learn why does it have to be such a hard life.
I start councilling next month for my depression and im going to speak to them.about my drinking.
I'm sorry I let u all down.
I'm going to try to pop on here even when I'm working as I think that's why I've failed.
Sorry guys I really am sorry I don't deserve u guys
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:19 AM
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You didn't let any of us down ZG.
We've all been there

but yeah...maybe this is a good time to looking at what you've been doing for your recovery, and thinking about what you could add?

you can do this. You just got to work out the right plan for you

D
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:51 AM
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Been there got the T-Shirt!

Put it behind you and go again! . . . it can be done!!
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:51 AM
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Hi hon. Sounds like you're where I am. I'm on day 1 again after going through another bout of withdrawal that my husband weaned me out of because I was kindling hardcore and the hospitals won't detox me anymore. That's how many times I've fallen since this began 3 years ago.

Today all I can think is: Why why why. I honestly thought the last time was the last time.

Not everyone here thinks this is a disease but I do. It's a mental one that takes control and tries to strip you of your life. I don't quite agree with the victim mentality of AA but I certainly can't argue with them that I am powerless over this, much like how my husband is powerless over his kidney disease. He can do things to manage it but he can't cure it.

You've let no one down. You know why? Because you picked yourself up again and came on here. You did yourself proud. So many of the people who suffer from this deny there's anything wrong with them and drink themselves to death. You've already done the hardest part.

You can get through this.
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Old 12-13-2013, 01:53 AM
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Don't be to hard on yourself. It took me many years to finally quit. Man, I joined here six years ago (under a different name) and I've been sober two years eleven months. It took me awhile.
I never gave up trying, though. You're not a bad person for having taken a drink. If that were true I'd be the worst person in the world.
I feel for you. I know how hard it is to quit. But, you can do it. Giving up on trying is the only failure.
Best to you.
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Old 12-13-2013, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by zombiegirl View Post
I'm sorry I let u all down...Sorry guys I really am sorry I don't deserve u guys
HOGWASH!

The ones I feel bad about are the ones who don't come back.

You want to be sober and you're taking action to make it happen. That's a success recipe you're cooking.

Learn and ascend. You can do this!
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Old 12-13-2013, 02:21 AM
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Welcome back. You didn't let anyone down with your drinking. We're all stopping drinking for ourselves.

I think most people here know what relapse is like. Best you can do is dust off, get over it and commit to permanent sobriety.

About that cooking with alcohol, I never understood it. But I do avoid all foods that have used any kind of alcohol in the making of them. Unnecessary risks are unnecessary risks. I see all alcohol as a threat to my sobriety. You can do it. And you've already taking a huge step by even posting here. You'll certainly succeed if you just stick to it, no matter what.
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Old 12-13-2013, 02:36 AM
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Don't feel bad for us, we are here to support you. A slip is a slip nothing more than that. If you make it big than it will be heavy on your shoulders. If you take it lightly you can just blow it of easy, like a leaf in the wind.

Just woke up and feeling poetic. Day 5 for me and I'm on fire!! Woo!!
Come on girl, get back up and kick this addiction to the curb like a crappy boyfriend!! Go girl go girl go girl!!!
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Old 12-13-2013, 02:41 AM
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I kept relapsing ZG too... you've not let anyone down.
I bought the rational recovery book and after my last relapse I said enough's enough.
I will never drink.

Why not give some other things a try as well as coming here? Plenty of things to try!
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Old 12-13-2013, 03:31 AM
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Don't be so hard on yourself. You have been honest and I'm sure you will get there. It took me literally hundreds of slips but I got there in the end, I was a chef - I presume that is your job. Keep posting, at least you want this xxx
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Old 12-13-2013, 05:33 AM
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Originally Posted by UnixBer View Post
Welcome back. You didn't let anyone down with your drinking. We're all stopping drinking for ourselves.

I think most people here know what relapse is like. Best you can do is dust off, get over it and commit to permanent sobriety.
Hi.
Very well stated! We get sober for ourselves and then good things happen, if we let them. The big problem with relapses is the fact we have no assurance we can get back after having one as I've seen far too often.

I stick by " If I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober AGAIN."

BE WELL
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Old 12-13-2013, 05:56 AM
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Originally Posted by IOAA2 View Post
Hi.
Very well stated! We get sober for ourselves and then good things happen, if we let them. The big problem with relapses is the fact we have no assurance we can get back after having one as I've seen far too often.

I stick by " If I don't pick up the first drink I don't have to get sober AGAIN."

BE WELL
Small manageable steps, remember you didn't wake up one day being an alcoholic. It took years probably so slow steps. The reverse is true, don't count days, its agony, instead tell yourself and believe it, that you don't drink anymore.

After my many relapses', I found counting days was part of the problem, I was just trying to get to the next day without drinking. This approach might work for some, but for me it made me anxious and when I failed, I got depressed and drank more.

The easiest thing in the world is to start over, the next time your in a supermarket, tell yourself to walk down the drinks isle. When you do say, " look at how they use coloured drinks and fancy labels, look at the shape of bottles, look how tempting they are". Do you know why they do this, it is because in those bottles is a poison and they want you to pay them, to drink as much poison as you can and they market it, so that they can make huge profits at the expense of your health.

Tell yourself as I do (and believe it), I can walk through the drinks aisle without picking up any drinks because I am not afraid of them anymore, I dont drink anymore.

You will win you know, were all here for you.
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Old 12-13-2013, 06:01 AM
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No big deal on the slip. Im sure we have all done it. I know I have probably 20 x. We will always be addicts. Most important is we have the strong desire to stop. Sounds like you know what to do and are motivated to jump back on the sober wagon.
All is good.
Keep strong
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Old 12-13-2013, 07:34 AM
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No big deal on the slipup... like others have said, we've all been there many times. It's a learning experience. Just get back your horse!
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