ForestRunner

Who am I? Mother wife daughter sister daughter-in-law... Who am I? Getter upper at 5:30 a.m. Go to work hard all day office Holiday party pick up the kids paint pottery place homework showers bath TV kick them outta the bed at 10. Who am I? Lady who drinks to fall asleep and start over again or lady who lies awake with the anxiety of the nervous days to come of being a good mother, a good wife , a good daughter-in-law, a good PERSON...

Dee74

you're all those things - especially the last one

I got tired of my addiction defining me - if you can identify with that too, there's a ton of support here

D

Mags1

You're a saint,ForestRunner, I don't know how mums do it, all the chores and go to work.

KateL

You are a good person, just an anxious one xxx

fountain

Sober you'll be able to do all these things too. Without a hangover or a guilty conscience. I wouldn't be able to do half what you can. well done you. Certainly don't let alcohol define you, you are so much more than just a wife, mother , etc., you are the sum of these things and more, you are YOU. xxxxxxx

Thepatman

Your an overcomer forestRunner! Stay in the fight untill the final round, you not going under cause god is holding you right now.

Those are actually Lyrics, Take a minute and lookup "you're an overcomer mandisa" on you tube.

The song is really really inspiring!!

DoubleDragons

Sadly, Forest Runner, if you do not get a hold of your alcohol problem, even with all of the good and amazing things that you do, your legacy will be that of an alcoholic. It will cast a shadow over everything else. Don't give it that power!! It has no right to steal all of the beautiful things that you have created!!! I am a mother of four. I want my legacy to be that of dignity, strength and serenity. That is why I quit drinking 75 days ago. Alcohol doesn't mix with dignity, strength and serenity. You can do this!!!

Nonsensical

It reads like you're a person at an intersection.

Take the noble path. It matters. Journey in Peace.

girlsearching

ForestRunner, you have picked the right time to turn this around. I am in my forties and just had my first grandbaby. I don't want to be the crazy drunk Grandma. I want to be the one she remembers as having it together and being normal. This is not the only reason for me to make a change, but it sure helps. I wasn't horrible when my own son was home, but I was not exactly a role model. I wish I could do that over. It's not too late for you. Good luck.

ForestRunner

Thank you all. Just what I needed. I love SR!

Lifeisforliving

What a beautiful way to put it. I hope you are willing to let this sink in, Forest Runner.

ForestRunner

I have been on SR for a long time, probably over a year. At first, I could only appreciate the simple concepts: Am I, or am I not? It took some months to accept "I am." Then the questions that I see here every day: "Can I moderate?" More months until the acceptance of the answer, "No." Then, the grand gestures: "No drinking until the marathon", "No drinking after my birthday", "No drinking at the holiday party". Finally, acceptance that it can only be "one day at a time." There was a post today about "How many day 1s have you had?" In truth, I've never really had a day 1. Sure, I've gone a couple days here and there, but not due to commitment, but circumstance. I am finally reaching the point, I think, where I want sobriety more than I want to drink. But old habits die hard. I believe I can do this. I am just scared.

Thepatman

Try to see it as a friend that is constantly lying to you, steeling money from you, making a liar out of you, a friend that puts you down all the time, make you depressed. Keep adding to the list it can go on.

Do you keep that friend? Only see him/her once in a while? Or do you drop him to the curb and stand for yourself?

Mikie9

You are a human with stress, that is all. Everyone has it. Drinking does put it off for a little bit, but it builds up for us and then it becomes more than stress and a problem, so we drink more to try and get away, which loops us back to just having normal stress with the added problem of being a drinker. Loop it all day long until it eventually comes to an end game. Stop the loop as soon as you can and move on. There are plenty of things you can do with your time to deal with the stress that doesn't involve making things worse. Why do you think there are so many sober exercise fanatics?

We all have stress. We all want to drink to ignore it. Give trying other ways to deal with stress a chance, atleast for awhile, see how it works for you.

I tend to come off kinda harsh, and I apologize for that. You are so spread out with all that you are accomplishing in life that we all can understand why a drink sounds like a relief. But if that was all it was then you wouldn't be here. Read around here a bit, get to know some people here on this forum. There is another way than using. Several in fact

ForestRunner

That's not harsh. It's the truth. I have run three marathons while being a drunk but I am losing interest in them because I don't improve, because of my drinking. That scares me. Should I run or drink? I know the answer, I just have to flip reality on its head...

ZeldaFan

Hello ForestRunner! I just wanted to toss it out there that I used to lie awake full of anxiety over things as well. I used to use drinking as a way to fall asleep.

Once I quit drinking and my body readjusted, sleep always wins over anxiety.

ForestRunner

You folks are all so great. I just watched "You're an Overcomer" as suggested by a previous poster. Brought me to tears. I have so much to give...