SherylB

I'm back again after a short hiatus due to the fact that I was just too stressed to type a thread here or read anything anyone wrote. So, I'm here to say that I filed for divorce last week. (Husband left a month ago and moved to another state.) Well, I thought I'd heard it all, but now this person is so pissed that he's going to have to pay child support that he said it looks like I'm going to keep supporting him. Real nice man, huh? He doesn't have a job, but does have a military pension, so it's not like he has nothing. And he's quite capable of working, although he doesn't seem too capable of KEEPING a job once he gets it. Sounds like a lot of alcoholics, I guess.

Then, to make matters more amazing, he suddenly decided to lie and say he's in our state during the week and out of state during the weekends. AND, he's been saying he didn't LEAVE, but just wanted TIME to get better and that I didn't give it to him, wasn't going to leave permanently, that I'm the one who ended the relationship by filing for divorce, that I threw away 11 years of marriage, blah, blah, blah. I cannot believe the way he twists things around so much to try to get me to think it's all my fault that he left at 1:30 am a month ago without an explanation and with no intention on returning. He even sent me an email a few weeks ago saying we should get a divorce and kept texting me asking when I was going to file. It's clear to me now that he figured that weak ME who always forgave him for everything would just hang around and wait for him to come back, but that sure didn't happen this time!

Anyway, I guess I just wanted you guys to hear about his latest trash-talk. Next Wednesday is my court date to address the temporary custody order. Supervised visits in my state. Mr. Pompous thinks the Judge is going to look upon him highly. Is this person serious?

I read the other person's post about the stripper clubs. My AH used to go to those places when he was a bit younger (he's 51) and even paid for a BJ there (sorry to be gross)! I only found out about it when I forced him to tell me if he ever did anything when I had a health scare. He is also a porn addict. I noticed from reading here that alcoholic men do tend to be porn addicts and/or cheaters. That's very interesting to me, but reading what others said about it makes sense. The brain is so wet and messed up that they do what they want, when they want, no matter what the consequences.

All of it is just downright gross and unforgivable and I'm DONE with it! Bah bye alcoholic! If I didn't have a daughter with you, you'd be out of my life forever, but unfortunately, I have to deal with you until you die...Don't tempt me, please...

forworse

Feel for you. Stay strong. You will get through it and I am sure the manipulator in chief will be found out soon enough. Hugs

Missus

Hope you kept the emails/texts - they could come in useful when it comes to he says/she says games

Stung

^^^ ditto what Missus said. Alcoholics seem to be great at building cases against themselves. I have oodles and oodles of text messages and even recorded arguments where AH incriminates himself.

peacesoul

wow, your story matches mine in lots and lots of ways. Mine is now focused on under-employing himself and getting paid in cash. Not to avoid paying me child support but so that I may have to pay him support/alimony as he wants to show a large difference in incomes. Awful. Good luck through the process, try to keep your stress levels down. Hope the court system in your state is favorable to you.
I am cautiously optimistic that my custody, financials etc will be fair.

PurpleWilder

In some cases, child support is based not on what they actually make but on what they should be making if they get off their duffs and do what they are supposed to do. And if they don't pay, they can get their fed/state tax refunds intercepted and/or their DL suspended.

Not legal advice, just my own experience in my state (IL).