hokey

I've been feeling very anxious all day, restless, bored ... not good feelings at all. The last couple of weeks have been really good, I've been sleeping well, eating well, keeping busy and I've been generally pretty "ok" with not drinking. The odd flare up of my AV (one particularly bad one) but usually just minor whispers. Well AV has been relentless today, I can't seem to shut it up. I've spent a lot of time on SR, because that usually helps me, but it's not working today. I've actually had the "f*** it" thought a few times today. Maybe I should just go to bed, tomorrow is a new day.

Dee74

have you tried urge surfing Hokey?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

D

hokey

Thanks for the link Dee. I haven't tried it, I don't even understand it to be honest. I can't identify any physical sensations or cravings, it's all in my head. It's not in my heart either, because I really, really, really want to quit. I'm reading the posts about relapses and slips and "how many times did you relapse?" and it's making me crazy. Because I am thinking that it's ok when it's so NOT ok. I know I should be avoiding those stories or at least learning something from them, but I am not looking at them that way today.

Midton

If you wait the urges always, always, eventually pass. Then you feel even better about yourself.

malcolmsloan

Try to "play the tape," Hokey. Remember, we blow that first drink way out of proportion, thinking how great it will be, how much we want it, how much it will be okay--it won't. Follow the first drink to the next, the next. . .all the way to the morning. That's the key for me--the morning. How crappy you will feel on many levels.

I fully hear you when you refer to reading about relapses. I have had to shut that down too. I read about the many times others have slipped and gotten back up, and I think, ok, It's natural to slip a little--bang! AV right there! Sneaky little f!@#er. Remember, each time we silence it, the AV, it grows a bit weaker, we gain a bit more control of it. Yes, it has surges of power, but we know its games, its subterfuge, and when we know we are being tricked, aware of it, we have more control.

I hope you are doing ok. Get to bed. Perhaps make some nice warm tea (I think I'm going to do that after I write this). You got this, Hokey.

hokey

I didn't sleep well but at least I'm just tired, not tired and hungover LOL. I'm going to a meeting tonight, so hopefully that will help put things back in perspective. Onward and upward!

Nonsensical

Of course it is, but that doesn't mean it isn't real.

The same thing happens to me from time to time. I come to the SR forums looking to strengthen my sober self, but instead I read something that stimulates my AV. This has also happened to me at meetings I have attended - somebody's AV starts talking and my AV starts listening.

Shrugging it off takes practice. Try that urge surfing. Even if it doesn't work, learning about it will take your mind down a different path for a while. Sometimes that's enough.

You can do this!

Dee74

Then try isolate that want, that need in your head.

Observe it but try not to be a part of it...just accept that it's there, and accept it will pass.

mind surf though it like a wave- and remember - it passes

if that doesn't work you can try this slightly more aggressive approach I got from Allen Carr:

what is it you want this mythical drink to do for you?

release from something? stress? boredom? resentment? restless? fear?
returning to a time before you had to worry about recovery?
not wanting to be different?

once you identify the need, you can think about other more healthy ways to achieve those aims

D

Anna

Yes, as Dee said, remember that the feeling is not you. It's just a feeling. You can recognize it, see it for what it is and let it go.

I'm glad you got through the worst of it.

hokey

The more aggressive approach actually makes more sense to me ... thanks Dee

Mountainmanbob

nothing wrong with sleeping it off
much better than dwelling on it
at times some good sleep does wonders
especially when we are recovering (I had a lot to recover from)
did a lot of sleeping and couch time

you got the full range of ideas coming in here
guess only you know for sure (it is about what I do or don't do)
MM

Correy

When I'm going crazy with urges, I watch the "Dog Whisperer" - and I'm not being factitious here, I really do.

There's a way how he helps them snap out of harmful behavior and patterns that I find helpful. (it helps me find my own way out of it)

I may be crazy, but at least I'm sober today.



Good luck!!

hokey

I appreciate everyone's comments ... thanks so much

hokey

<------ this ring keeps me grounded. It's made up of you wonderful people here on SR and the ones in the meetings I attend. I am so grateful for all of you

ScottFromWI

We are grateful to have you here too hokey, we all help each other. Glad you made it through the rough night

hokey

Me too Scott LOL ... I was a little worried about your boot coming out