anchorbird

Before anyone else brings it up, I do not believe that if someone is on anti-depressents/anti-anxiety meds, that they are not sober. My sobriety is solely concerning alcohol right now. I have MAJOR anxiety issues, which started WAY before I even touched alcohol.

Now that I have been sober for some time, the prozac (20mg)that I have taken every day is really doing its job. I barely suffer from anxiety and love that part of it. Who knew that alcohol every day would make my meds NOT work ;-) Anyways, I do feel though that something is missing and I am not sure what it is. Could this be the prozac? Could it be just serenity and not feeling all of the drama that came with my alcohol use? Usually this time of year this is a certain extra hop to my step because of Christmas, but I have noticed that it is not really there this year.

Maybe its just that I know I need to put my sobriety first, and I am okay with that. We will be with all of our family for Christmas (we live 700 miles from them) and I am a little nervous about all of the booze that I will be around, and how at times our families can stress me out. I don't really want to travel, but I don't have a choice.

Sorry if I am rambling, I didn't know who else to "talk" about this with.

Thanks

Elisabeth888

I have major anxiety too and Effexor had been a life saver. Before I started taking it, I literally had butterflies in my stomach all the time . I was nervous and scared about nothing.

I just ignore people that say you are not sober if you take antidepressants. Their opinions mean nothing to me.

EndGameNYC

Hi anchorbird.

Just as we habituate or become used to partly emotional and partly cognitive states such as anxiety and depression, we also habituate to the relatively anxiety- and depression- free states that medications often provide.

Many people choose to be non-compliant with anxiolytics and antidepressants because they don't feel quite right without the "edge" that comes with being anxious or the relative comfort that a familiar state of depression provides. One of the most difficult challenges in doing psychotherapy with anxious and depressed patients is to loosen the death grip they have on their anxiety or depression. It's as though they feel their entire being is under assault and in the process of being annihilated. These events are well documented in the psychiatric and psychological literature.

Many people describe conditions under which their meds are working well as feeling like a "zombie," so accustomed are they to struggling with pathological states. So they choose instead to continue to suffer with a familiar and reliable assault rather than risk something different. I think an analogy with sobriety holds in these cases. When we're newly sober (say, one day to a year), we don't quite feel right, we're not ourselves, and though we progressively lose most the suffering that heavy drinking brings us, we're frightened by the unfamiliarity of living differently. Historically single-digit "success" rates in alcoholism and other addictions speak directly to this issue.

I've learned over a very long time that choosing something different, something potentially much better than the living hell of active alcoholism, is a recurring theme, and one that remains largely resistant to medical advances, spiritual healing and major changes in lifestyle, except for the relatively few of us who achieve sobriety.

EndGameNYC

On the other hand...Prozac is a powerful medication, the forerunner of current SSRIs. The ingredients have been tweaked over time, largely for the better, though there are few powerful meds with no side-effect profiles. But as long as Prozac is working for you, it's wise to stick with it.

I'm not an M.D., and I wouldn't recommend playing around with meds from a distance anyway, but if/when Prozac stops working for you, you'll have the option of giving more current antidepressants a trial run. Also, switching from one antidepressant that works to another because of side effects has its own perils. The new drug might not work or might not work as well as the one that does.

I was taking Prozac during my long-term sobriety about two decades ago, and it did the trick, after years of psychotherapy brought me to a wall in my struggles with depression. It was the magical pill for me that everyone raved about. When I switched to another antidepressant due to unwanted side effects, it took me a lot of time and unnecessary suffering to find a serviceable substitute.

As for people who think and also say out loud that a person isn't sober when they're on antidepressants, check your wallet and run away as fast as you can.

George3334

I struggle with anxiety and depression. Last year was taking antidepressants while at the same time drinking alcohol which really was akin to buying a supersize McDonalds meal after a workout in the gym. The two just don't work well together... And so, I gave up the antidepressants which only led me deeper into drinking more and more.

Then, I made the decision to quit drinking. Today I am 122 days sober. And you know what? Today I made the decision to start taking the antidepressants again because as happy as I am that I quit drinking I am still feeling anxiety / depression.

Your post gives me hope that taking the meds and NOT drinking will make me feel better.

MemphisBlues

Congratulations on your sobriety and clarity of mind to ask about your medication. I think what we need to strive for in early recovery is stabilization, and that certainly goes for brain chemistry.

Do talk to your prescribing doctor about your medication concerns, and do ignore anyone in the program who suggests you not take your medication.

I urge you to have some escape routes during you Christmas family trip. Have a plan with someone who knows of your struggles and be prepared to somehow excuse yourself when surrounded by family stress or those drinking. Take a walk, make up an excuse to quiet yourself in a separate room with a book or a computer, ask someone to go out for coffee, hit the library. Have an out.

My experience with Prozac was an eon ago, and I washed down 80 milligrams a day with beer and curled the rough edges with marijuana, so I have no great advice. I do know that the side effects of all antidepressants can rear their head once we are sober, the booze or whatever masking or exacerbating what normies feel. I'm three years sober and now entering my sixth month medication free after living for 23 years on antidepressants and benzos. I do caution you do only make medication changes with the support of a medical professional well versed in tapering and the very real aspects of antidepressant withdrawal. Good luck.

Ruby2

"do ignore anyone in the program who suggests you not take your medication." Ditto on this one. You would not urge a diabetic to stop taking insulin or a heart patient to stop taking their blood pressure medications. Same with people self medicating with alcohol to overcome underlying depression.

I took prozac years ago. I too felt that something was "missing" even though it was working. I talked to the doctor and she prescribed a secondary anti depressant that augmented the prozac which helped a lot. The best analogy I can put on the difference it made is like getting your eyes examined. "Is A better or is B?" With A the images are clear slightly fuzzy around the edges. With B everything is crystal clear, no fuzz. I don't know if this is what you mean by "something missing" but this was my experience. And with this post you reminded me that I need to call my doctor for a referral to get back on my zoloft.

Ruby2

I meant "Clear but slightly fuzzy around the edges in my analogy."

bigsombrero

Like many here, I have suffered from anxiety. I was on prozac, along with 2 other medications a few years ago - of course I was drinking like a fish the entire time. Life was terrible. I quit all drugs upon getting sober. I noticed the anxiety was still there, but it wasn't unbearable, and the anxiety attacks have been few and far between. Like EndGame, I also experienced unwanted side effects on prozac and quit taking it, of course I didn't take the correct steps to quit that, either. I'm sure your doctor knows what's best, and you know that too. Good luck with everything, do what works for you.

Anna

Anchorbird, I understand what you expressed. I was addicted to the chaos and crises in my life (as a result of the alcohol), as much as I was addicted to the alcohol itself. For me to find 'normal' amd feel comfortable with it, took time.

If you are concerned about your medication, do talk to your dr. There are many choices, dosages and combinations and hopefully you will find one that works for you.

MemphisBlues

I think we tread on somewhat thing ice when we equate antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications with insulin for the diabetic. That was the line a shrink used on me 20 years ago when introducing me to benzodiazepines. I think psychiatry is whistling a different tune these days on that one.

TrickyDave

anchorbird,

Mr Dr. put me on Lexapro on Oct 24th. My wife said that she could see a major difference within four days.

Little things that used to bother me rolled off, no big deal. No more road rage. Get along with 17 year old son much better. No more fear (of nothing) deep in the pit of my stomach. Smile much easier. Less social paralysis. No more waking up at 2am in a full-blown panic attack with my heart running at 120 bpm.

Everyone once and a while when I'm feeling relaxed/good/or didn't have a fit over a grain of rice on the counter, I think to myself, "is this what it feels like to be normal?"

I wish I had these 20 years ago.