How to replace the good with the bad?
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
How to replace the good with the bad?
I know it sounds backwards... usually wanting to replace the bad with the good... I don't know what it is about these last few days, but I can't seem to stop thinking about all the good times I had when drinking. I can feel the cool ocean breeze from one amazingly romantic night out, I can smell the chlorine from one wild night we went skinny dipping in a nearby pool, I can taste the pina coladas we had on the beach during our honeymoon... My mind, sleeping or awake is just overwhelming me with the so called amazing times I had while drinking.
WHY do I not think of the night I threw up black on the beach and my husband (then boyfriend) had to hold my hair? The night I tried to "hold my breath" long enough to make my husband think I was drowning in the pool for who knows what reason! and the fact that I wanted to fly home halfway through our honeymoon because my anxiety from a wild night out was through the roof!!
I don't understand why I can remember all the "amazingly great, awesome , wild" nights, but seemingly just forget about all the negative things that have happened while drinking.
I KNOW the bad outweighs the good, but I seem to forget all to quickly. This is hard. Really, really, hard.
WHY do I not think of the night I threw up black on the beach and my husband (then boyfriend) had to hold my hair? The night I tried to "hold my breath" long enough to make my husband think I was drowning in the pool for who knows what reason! and the fact that I wanted to fly home halfway through our honeymoon because my anxiety from a wild night out was through the roof!!
I don't understand why I can remember all the "amazingly great, awesome , wild" nights, but seemingly just forget about all the negative things that have happened while drinking.
I KNOW the bad outweighs the good, but I seem to forget all to quickly. This is hard. Really, really, hard.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Aw gee, Pinot - yeah it's so easy to forget the bad stuff. I'm sure so many of us know exactly what you're talking about.
I suppose it's that damned ole AV trying to find a way in by using our propensity for 'romancing the drink' as people call it. Gawd, I even had a few moments yesterday arvo....when putting up my friggin' Christmas tree! Being triggered by a once-a-year thing like a Christmas tree?! And I haven't even bothered with one for the last couple of years either...so, who knows, maybe it triggered nostalgia for some past good times in general, like when the kids were little, etc etc. I honestly don't know and don't have a clear answer to your question.
That was a lotta help, wasn't it?!
x
Vic
I suppose it's that damned ole AV trying to find a way in by using our propensity for 'romancing the drink' as people call it. Gawd, I even had a few moments yesterday arvo....when putting up my friggin' Christmas tree! Being triggered by a once-a-year thing like a Christmas tree?! And I haven't even bothered with one for the last couple of years either...so, who knows, maybe it triggered nostalgia for some past good times in general, like when the kids were little, etc etc. I honestly don't know and don't have a clear answer to your question.
That was a lotta help, wasn't it?!
x
Vic
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Come here more often when you have those thoughts and we'll remind you. Or check out some AA/NA meetings, the topic is oft discussed. Read the big book..plenty of "bad" stories, but many ended up good just the same!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
I have gone through (and am going through) the same thing. I wonder how honest my memory would be of the "good times"...and for the truly good times, how rich, fulfilling and intact the memories would be of those days instead.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Originally Posted by 1stthingsfirst 
I have gone through (and am going through) the same thing. I wonder how honest my memory would be of the "good times"...and for the truly good times, how rich, fulfilling and intact the memories would be of those days instead.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Be myself just said exactly what I was gonna type. Your alcoholism is feeding you memories. Romancing the drink, yes. Happens to me too, and I think the holidays are a biggie for a variety of reasons.
Ask yourself this: am I powerless over alcohol? Do I own it or does it own me? If your answer is maybe or yes to that first one, drinking is off the table if you want a good life.
If you chose to drink chances are good you will be fine. That time. But if you are an alcoholic and drink, it's like Russian roulette. Never know which time will get you but if you keep playing it will happen.
I live with a nor is so the difference is in front of me all the time. She goes weeks without even giving booze a thought. If that's how nonalcoholics think, I'm absolutely an alcoholic!
Ask yourself this: am I powerless over alcohol? Do I own it or does it own me? If your answer is maybe or yes to that first one, drinking is off the table if you want a good life.
If you chose to drink chances are good you will be fine. That time. But if you are an alcoholic and drink, it's like Russian roulette. Never know which time will get you but if you keep playing it will happen.
I live with a nor is so the difference is in front of me all the time. She goes weeks without even giving booze a thought. If that's how nonalcoholics think, I'm absolutely an alcoholic!
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Ah, the selective memory of the Addictive Voice!
The smell of chlorine lingers in your memory but more often if was probably the smell of vomit or the awful stench of the pile of empty booze bottles. To bad or memory isn't so vivid when we think of the pounding hangover, the dry mouth, putting one foot on the floor to try to stop the bed from spinning or hoping we don't get popped on the way to work the next day, still to drunk to legally be driving.
Yes, the foolish fun we had we were lucky to survive. Time to learn a new way of having fun. As the old Indigo Girls song says,
"Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather."
The smell of chlorine lingers in your memory but more often if was probably the smell of vomit or the awful stench of the pile of empty booze bottles. To bad or memory isn't so vivid when we think of the pounding hangover, the dry mouth, putting one foot on the floor to try to stop the bed from spinning or hoping we don't get popped on the way to work the next day, still to drunk to legally be driving.Yes, the foolish fun we had we were lucky to survive. Time to learn a new way of having fun. As the old Indigo Girls song says,
"Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather."
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