UnixBer

Hi everyone. On day 171 of sobriety here and I've had certain feelings of paws in the past weeks. This morning after sleeping only a few hours that felt like not having slept at all the feeling was very redundant. After a while though, as often happens the feeling lifted and changed. This is one of those things that at times has made me wonder if I'm still sane. But it is that PAWS.

The most important thing I've found about paws is maybe the thought that it does indeed pass and end, but while it is on it can make you feel like you're losing your mind, I think anyone here can relate to that feeling.

There's been a lot of topics about the subject of timelines, with paws. There's the fine lining that a single paws-episode oftenmost lasts for 2 to 4 days. I've noticed that more seldom but still there is a different kind of paws-cycle that lasts longer but is different and not as intense all of the time. Of course the time in recovery has everything to do with its severity.

I was wondering if anyone could verify that significance with the magical moments around 30,60,90 days, 6 months, 1 and 2 years. The established idea is that PAWS can last upto 2 years at most. Often the minimal duration is 6 months. Is there much truth to those timelines? I find some relevance to them as this month has been different from the two or even three previous ones. It somehow supports the idea of those timelines.

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So after waking up I started to feel really inspired and in some way "aware". It is like a huge part of my mind or brain has been offline and suddenly has come back on, like flooded with memory and reason all of a sudden... thus feeling pink cloudish and more normal(?). From my experience I don't think this kind of pink cloud is a bad or distorted perception of reality, but rather it is something true... and it may be explained part by the relief of ending of the paws-episode or it getting a lot easier for the time being.

During a pink cloud there is strange creative insight that I've gotten. And I find that positive. So the really inspiring thing about this and the pink cloud is that there are those memories and glimpses of the real person I am and a realization that it can indeed work. I had those sometimes in the early recovery as well but this is something a bit more awesome in my opinion. From the looks of it, sobriety sure as hell is worth it, even with some paws in the mix.

So the timelines are interesting here if anyone can share their experience or thoughts concerning that. Thanks for reading.

GracieLou

It sure the hell is.

I think for some, myself included, we had a predetermined notion of what it is going to be like being sober. It has it highs for sure but it has its lows as well. I just have to remember that the lows are life on life's terms. I always try and remember "this too, shall pass".

Thanks for sharing

nomis

I remember the two month mark being fairly brutal. Mind moving at the pace of a snail. Felt much better at the 9-10 month mark and don't really notice any symptoms now at 13 months. Which begs the question....what the heck is normal anyways?

alphaomega

Yes yes YES !!! Awesome post.

I'm approaching 60 days continuous. And I can unequivocally state that I was completely wackadoodle the last few days.

It's lifting. Thank Buddha.

Andante

I drank in cycles of drunkenness and abstinence which, as it turned out, were timed ideally so as to create perfect-storm conditions for the development of extreme PAWS. I've come to think that my individual susceptibility to it was extremely high as well.

After nearly 9 months of continuous sobriety, I'm finally starting to notice some solid overall improvement. Although it can still vary widely from one day to the next -- on some days I feel almost normal, while on others, I feel like it's Day One again -- the overall trend is positive. Physically I feel much better, and I'm regaining some ability to feel emotion, but I'm still having a terrible time with organizing and sequencing thoughts (even this short post took forever to write). My memory for specific events is starting to get better, but I still have a hard time with making associations, connecting the dots, tying the events together.

I realize I'm on the outer edge of the bell curve with this stuff, but if there's someone similar out there who is on the brink of drinking again out of despair and frustration, take heart! It does get better!

Iluvdisney

I hit 90 days on the 21st. The last two days have been tough! Nocturnal panic attacks and my body has just not felt right. Ugh....

Tang

Though it looks like this post is a little dated, based on a lot of PAWS reading on this website and others, isn't it difficult to predict how it will affect individual people? Even people with similar drinking patterns will have different biological makeup and therefore may experience completely different PAWS symptoms. I know I want to know exactly what lies ahead of me, but I don't want to get my hopes up that because I didn't drink as heavily as person X, my recovery won't be as tumultuous.

HeadLump

It definitely gets better with time. PAWS seemed to affect my short-term memory more than anything else. It's still not perfect, but, sadly, that could possibly be due to age

At 11 months now, though, things are pretty much tickety-boo all round (touch wood!)

Hawkeye13

This is really helpful to know. I'm also swinging in and out of ability to focus and complete "brain tasks" which is a considerable problem as I'm an academic and have to do grading and comments, write exams, give lectures, etc. which has really been difficult this term.

Other issues for me a finding words / Aphasia. I just can't think of common
language for obvious things. I stare at my husband blankly and say stuff like "the flat pan" (skillet) which is strange, as I may be able to delve deeply into a poem or some bit of critical theory which is highly abstract within 20 minutes of the blanking.

The emotional flatness has been an issue for a long time. It is getting better but slowly. Overall, I do have a sense of peace and euphoria from sobriety which is my long-term pink cloud. I like that very much.

Thanks for starting this thread.

Andante

Hi Hawkeye -- so glad to know someone identified with my post! It's lonely out here on the end of the PAWS bell curve!

I failed to mention aphasia as part of my symptom set probably because I couldn't think of the word at the time.

It's getting better, but WOW it can be slow!

Dee74

For me PAWs was a day here a day there sometime after my 90 days.

It's important to remember not everyone will get PAWs - sometimes a bad day is just a bad day....
There is some great info here and some great tips here for alleviating PAWs symptoms too

PAWS | Digital Dharma