bmf1978

Thanks.

BoxinRotz

It's the most ridiculous garbage that spews from a wasted individual.

Some examples I've heard throughout my marriage are:

I'm going to go f*ck the lawn when what he really meant was cut the lawn.

I don't drive drunk drunk! I drive drunk!

I love you so much and... you're such a __________. You discust me. I think you're beautiful.

Why didn't you bring me water while I was cutting the grass? You don't care if I fall over from heat do you?! Me: I was cooking you dinner, getting ready for work and cleaning the kitchen. Him: That's as bad as the weather and a girl being kidnapped.

It's quacking!

honeypig

These threads might help clarify quacking as well as provide some amusement!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-quackers.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

bmf1978

Wow. My husband doesn't say things that are quite so nonsensical. However, he does often make broad statements that drive me up the wall because of their absurdity - like "you don't love me" or "you don't care about me". I start to think to myself, "Do I not show him love and affection?" Of course I do!! When he says those things, it seems like he truly believes them and I think he must be projecting them from some other past relationship or experience. Or maybe it's because he thinks he's unloveable and how could I love him? Anyway, apologies for the free associating.

Lyssy

Yep, that qualifies as quacking.

spiderqueen

Box, if there was a Quacking Hall of Fame, your man's b.s. would be right up in there. *snort*

For bmf: just to clarify, the A doesn't have to be drunk in the moment for the quacking to spew. Sometimes it's more like bizarre, twisted dry drunk logic, or blame shifting, or manipulating, or weird impossible made up stuff; frequently when excusing or covering up from some earlier drunken shenanigans.

I got a winner recently from my XA (we still keep in touch, but I'm working on that...). When I reminded him that he passed out cold in the middle of a sentence on the phone with me recently, he didn't miss a beat, and had this fine quack at the ready:
"Well of course, I just fell asleep! I've had some insomnia lately, been struggling with sleep issues!"

Never mind that it was 4 in the afternoon at the time, and we'd been on the phone for about 2 minutes.

Leana

I personally hate the term. I don't know why but I do. I prefer the plain and simple "BS".

Johnston

Not sure about quacking, sounds more like early onset dementia to me.

Ixi

When RABF relapsed he said he'd planned to have a drink to celebrate being one month sober. (I sh*t you not). A four day bender later...

It's one of those things you don't even want to respond to because then you'd have to acknowledge that it came out of another human being's mouth. Like, a live, sentient creature. Complete with a brain.

BoxinRotz

It's called being drunk. Black out, stupid drunk.

He's not like that sober. I would know. I live with him.

BoxinRotz

I've heard some doozies along the way! lol If you don't laugh... you'll cry.

foolsgold66

Tis a duck saying hello. No, it's just a term used to describe stupid crap coming out of an alcoholic\addicts mouth.

ladyscribbler

Some of that might be brain injury talking. I know your ah had a bad mc accident that left him brain injured. My axb suffered TBI in Iraq and I think the brain injury on top of the drinking accelerates the mental deterioration. Mine was never like that sober either. But one drink, and his whole demeanor changed. I had people (cops who were arresting him) ask if he was mentally ill because of some of the stuff he said while blackout drunk.

ladyscribbler

[QUOTE=Ixi;4332795]When RABF relapsed he said he'd planned to have a drink to celebrate being one month sober. (I sh*t you not). A four day bender later...


One of the RAs who posts here (don't remember which one) had a great post about how if moderation were possible for an A there would be a huge Moderation forum with all sorts of success stories about how they learned to control their alcohol intake. Instead there are lots of sheepish As who post after "just one drink...." turned into a bender.

BoxinRotz

Him f*cking the lawn was after the brain injury but the I don't drive drunk drunk! I drive drunk was before. Along with the I love you, you're such a ________ and all that other crazy black out drunk bull. I have quite a few posted in the Quacking thread. Before and afters. They are mostly the same though. He's got some memory loss too, like names and stuff. Cant remember things. I know that is post brain injury.

Quish16

Box - I am in a similar situation to you - my older AH had an acute on subdural hematoma back in July and was in hospital for 2.5 weeks. I have heard that a brain injury can bring on or even cause dementia but it is very difficult to progress or get a diagnosis quickly because the brain takes several months to get back to normal if it ever does.
good luck - my AH has good days and bad days but is very forgetful and has forgotten whole chunks of what happened for weeks even months before the hematoma - I guess being chronic it was building up for a while and due to the atrophy, it didn't cause life threatening symptons until the third fall which turned into the acute.
It is a nightmare for me trying to work out what is due to the hematoma - what is due to the drinking and what is due to the possibility of dementia - maybe alcohol related - at the moment, I am ignorning the last one.
I have also heard that brain injury is more likely to re occur if the person is
over 65
has had previous brain surgery
and is an alcoholic.
Very best of luck. I do hope your AH has stopped. Mine hasn't and his attitude is he has to die of something but he has cut down so we are coping.

BoxinRotz

I've read that some people who suffer brain injuries can be fine and all of a sudden nose dive after some time has passed and vice versa, having bad symptoms and then recover. He still has some healing to do. I know his strength is not what it used to be. I know his brain can't be either. He's back to work now and with his job, it scares me if someone would hit him or if he'd bump his head off something in the garage. A bump or hit to us could be catastrophic to him considering the circumstances. He wanted back on regular duty though.