gemuwine

Well im on Day 4 sober, Day 3 was horrible for me. I go out to dinner once a month with my sister, she knows I have been sober and she didn't drink alcohol either. Everyone knows my normal dining routine. Waitress "glass of water and merlot"? I said no. "A glass of water and a tonic water please" . My sister didn't drink either which made me feel much better. Then the dreaded table in front of me. I can see a man and his wife sipping red wine. And here I am with my tonic water. So many emotions came to me, i didnt know if I wanted to steal the glass. LOL joking or pour it over his head. The room filled with others drinking and the smell of alcohol was in the air. Going out to eat is something I enjoy so much, I will remain strong. The only thought that could comfort me was they can probably have one or two and I would need to have the whole bottle. It was tough, I left there with my sobriety but how do you all cope in that situation?

tomsteve

I put sobriety first and don't go out to eat where alcohol is served.

CactusJill

You may consider sticking with restaurants that do not serve alcohol for now. I know that most nice restaurants do, and that makes it difficult, but surely there are a few around you that "will do" until you are more established in your sobriety.

If it helps, I am with you. I was a BIG wine drinker and I also loved the specialty mixed drinks. I feel like I am missing part of the meal without the drinks, but I know from experience that over time I will get used to it. You will too.

IOAA2

Hi and try to hang on. When I first got sober it was very strongly suggested not to go to places where our alcoholic practices can easily be persuaded to kick in. Much depends on our mental processing and I used to get angry easily when exposed to your situation. Sort of like poor me. Finally the day came when I was stable enough to expose myself to such situations. Today I don't notice what people are doing or drinking around me, that's their business.

BE WELL

newme2day

Think about how you would have felt today if you had that "one" glass. You probably would have stopped and gotten a bottle on the way home . . .right? Feeling good this morning aremt ya? Not so much if you had wine.

hayley86

I avoided going to any places where alcohol was served for the first couple of months. When i first quit drinking i definitely didn't feel comfortable with people drinking around me and i didn't want to risk my sobriety. I gradually started going out for dinner etc once i felt completely confident that i wouldn't feel like picking up a drink.

gemuwine

Thank you all for your replies. That was one challenge I overcame, the next is I haven't been sober on a weekend since I can't remember. I will keep myself very busy, and think of not putting that poison in my body.

ScottFromWI

You are still extremely early in your sobriety, possibly not even past the acute withdrawal stage. It will take time but you will most likely be able to tolerate being around alcohol down the road. I personally avoided anywhere alcohol was served for probably at least a month initially.

KateL

I can eat in any restaurant now but it took a while. If it's too difficult, I would go to a diner with no booze.

pattyj

You can always try cooking a meal at home with your sister.

ClearMind

I've always felt that eating was a burden when I was drinking. It made me too full, so I couldn't drink as much as I wanted to. Now I don't mind being around people who are drinking, it has a bit of a calming effect, even though I don't participate in the drinking myself... I don't know. Maybe this is a feeling that will pass. I'm going out to a pub this evening for dinner, and I won't drink, but virtually everyone else in the place will be. I don't anticipate it being a problem.

resolute50

Once you get some time under your belt in the world of sobriety.
You wont even bat an eye at the fact others are drinking in a restaurant.

SunriseSky

Great job Gemu! I would not have had the strength to cope with that situation so early on. I'm sure it helped that your dining partner wasn't drinking.

Something that helps me now is ordering a ginger ale muddled with mint and lime. It's got some sugar and a complex flavor that distracts my taste buds.

Nonsensical

Going out to eat isn't one of my triggers, so I don't have a strategy for that. Although, if given the option I try to take a seat that isn't facing the bar. My mind will drift...

I like that you recognized it's one of yours and you're looking for coping ideas from other members here. Awesome!

What are some other triggers for you? You mentioned the weekend and your strategy to stay busy. Are there others? Being prepared is a big help.

You're doing great, keep it up!

KateL

I agree, and without the alcohol, there are many more calories to be used on the food.. yum!!!!!!!

aasharon90

First, I know I can't take other peoples
inventory. I don't know if others have a
drinking problem or not and it's none
of my business what they drink or not.

I LOVE going out to eat. Food over
poison and live another day sober.

Water with lemon is what I always
order mainly because it's free.

Keeping it Simple..!

Valll

It's quite simple really.

It's all about habit.

Not so easy to change ones habit I agree... but once you recognise the problem - it's easy to put the food and company before the drink - the drink numbs the beautiful experience.

If you haven't experienced it for a while it is hard to imagine.

But it is out there.

PinotNOmore

I usually get a Shirley temple or club soda with lime. During my 10+ months sober last year I also realized that if you really look around (depending where you are I guess) there are not as many people drinking as you think. You may have focused in on that one table and not realized the 10 other tables with iced tea. :-) I try and look around to give some perspective to myself and 9 out of 10 times, there are far more non drinkers then drinkers... as long as you're not at a sports bar on a weekend night! lol

gemuwine

Thanks again all for your ideas. Nonsenical to answer your question. I have many triggers, or should I say a habit of drinking wine doing little things as taking a bath, sitting on computer, which I don't go on at night for now, 11 am on weekends I would start to crack a bottle open. Pretty sad, but I am going to remain strong. It seems to be getting tougher rather than easier. I'm guessing because its only the 4 th day.

DoubleBarrel

Dessert.

Better than drinking, none of the other consequences.