just got out of detox in a local hospital...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 5
just got out of detox in a local hospital...
this is the second time in two months. the first time...I tried to quit drinking ''cold turkey'', and wound up having a grand mal seizure...I rationalized that by it was just a seizure and drank the day after 3 days in the hospital right after I got released ...this time, I voluntarily went in...and asked that they admit me. after another three days of potassium drips, vitamins, and more valium I can tell you...I got out a half hour ago. I'm already trying to rationalize how I can have ''just one drink''. I live in one of the biggest drinking towns in America (not that that is an excuse)...but I don't know how to stay sober in a City literally fully of drunks. any advice would be appreciated. thank you.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome Phyrne!
Not drinking is pretty easy, you just don't pour it in your mouth.
Feeling better being sober is not so easy. It's going to take time. Have you considered a support group such as AA or Lifering? It can be helpful to be around other people who are working to stay sober.
Best of luck on your journey, and don't listen to that liar living in your head. It'll talk you into a whole lot of regrets if you do.
Not drinking is pretty easy, you just don't pour it in your mouth.
Feeling better being sober is not so easy. It's going to take time. Have you considered a support group such as AA or Lifering? It can be helpful to be around other people who are working to stay sober.
Best of luck on your journey, and don't listen to that liar living in your head. It'll talk you into a whole lot of regrets if you do.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Phyrne 
You've come to the right place for support
I knew nothing but drinking...all my mates drank - everyone I saw seemed to be drinking... but I knew it was killing me and I had to stop.
The community here got me through some really dark nights.
why not join our Class of December thread too? It's for everyone quitting this month
D
You've come to the right place for support
I knew nothing but drinking...all my mates drank - everyone I saw seemed to be drinking... but I knew it was killing me and I had to stop.
The community here got me through some really dark nights.
why not join our Class of December thread too? It's for everyone quitting this month
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Phyrne, welcome to SR. It is indeed a cunning, powerful, baffling disease that has you considering drinking after two wicked detoxes.
Posting and reading here works for many. AA is an option. Perhaps keeping that seizure in mind might be beneficial to keep you away from that first drink.
Posting and reading here works for many. AA is an option. Perhaps keeping that seizure in mind might be beneficial to keep you away from that first drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 297
Welcome
I am fairly new to sobriety, so I know how you feel.
It helps me to remember that the voice inside my head that keeps telling me to drink is not my own voice but the voice of the alcohol and my addiction. It sounds just like my own voice but it tells me to do things that are bad for me and tries to get me to focus on the bad things. I will have three weeks sober tomorrow and each day that I ignore that voice in my head, it gets weaker.
I am fairly new to sobriety, so I know how you feel.
It helps me to remember that the voice inside my head that keeps telling me to drink is not my own voice but the voice of the alcohol and my addiction. It sounds just like my own voice but it tells me to do things that are bad for me and tries to get me to focus on the bad things. I will have three weeks sober tomorrow and each day that I ignore that voice in my head, it gets weaker.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 64
welcome phyrne! well done for reaching out!
cant really advise but i can share my experience. maybe you can relate?
i got sober in my home city. a big party city in england. im surrounded by people places and things i associated with my drinking.
however whenever i left the area to get away from my alcoholism it always followed me - because it WAS me!
i got sober (and stay sober) by changing me - not anyone or thing else.
i immersed myself in AA meetings. stuck around like-minded people who were embracing the aa program of recovery.
didnt believe in some of the stuff, but i saw it working for others, and i was desperate enough that i knew i had to stick with it/ do something different - my life depended on it.
the impossible has become possible because i was the lowest form of drunk in my view. now i live to help others.
i am an asset and no longer the burden i came to believe i would always be.
it's up to you phyrne. and you dont have to do this on your own!
cant really advise but i can share my experience. maybe you can relate?
i got sober in my home city. a big party city in england. im surrounded by people places and things i associated with my drinking.
however whenever i left the area to get away from my alcoholism it always followed me - because it WAS me!
i got sober (and stay sober) by changing me - not anyone or thing else.
i immersed myself in AA meetings. stuck around like-minded people who were embracing the aa program of recovery.
didnt believe in some of the stuff, but i saw it working for others, and i was desperate enough that i knew i had to stick with it/ do something different - my life depended on it.
the impossible has become possible because i was the lowest form of drunk in my view. now i live to help others.
i am an asset and no longer the burden i came to believe i would always be.
it's up to you phyrne. and you dont have to do this on your own!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 5
yah, thanks, guys, I have been a bartender for 18 years now...(quit that on my own volition which I guess for me was the first step in realizing I had a problem.)subsequently I have been unemployed for a year. however, I live above a bar and 99% percent of my friends are in the service industry.) I cried like a baby in the hospital, not because I don't have the desire to stop, but b/c I don't know what it is like to NOT drink..what do I do? even if I did other activities, (going dancing, going to a movie, even going to the zoo...they have ''boozy zoo'' nights here)...plus I live on a great lake and there are so many booze related ''cruises" etc. here. there is booze in my house right now...(this is kind of messed up, when my roommate came to visit me in the hospital, the nurse asked him if he wanted a soft drink...he said (and I quote) "no, thanks, after this I'm going out to the bar..haha!") after I had the seizure, I was scared NOT to drink. I'm bugging out right now. I have a large pint of water in front of me right now. and I'm alone on my first personal day of sobriety. scary for me. I'm crying right now. thanks for some support. I'm happy I looked this site up. I actually looked it up before the last trip to the hospital as well. I'm so happy I posted tonight.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I had to change my life Phyrne.
It seemed impossible to me at the start and there were a lot of tough decisions to make - I had to stop seeing a lot of friends and going to a lot of things....but I found new friends and new things to do that better suited the sober men who was emerging.
Are you looking into any face to face support like AA, or one of the secular alternatives like SMART or Lifering?
D
It seemed impossible to me at the start and there were a lot of tough decisions to make - I had to stop seeing a lot of friends and going to a lot of things....but I found new friends and new things to do that better suited the sober men who was emerging.
Are you looking into any face to face support like AA, or one of the secular alternatives like SMART or Lifering?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I had to change my life Phyrne.
It seemed impossible to me at the start and there were a lot of tough decisions to make - I had to stop seeing a lot of friends and going to a lot of things....but I found new friends and new things to do that better suited the sober men who was emerging.
Are you looking into any face to face support like AA, or one of the secular alternatives like SMART or Lifering?
D
It seemed impossible to me at the start and there were a lot of tough decisions to make - I had to stop seeing a lot of friends and going to a lot of things....but I found new friends and new things to do that better suited the sober men who was emerging.
Are you looking into any face to face support like AA, or one of the secular alternatives like SMART or Lifering?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Here's some links on the main recovery groups Phyrne
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
maybe something will click with you
I also recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, like SMART, LifeRing or Rational Recovery.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
maybe something will click with you
I also recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, like SMART, LifeRing or Rational Recovery
.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 64
cant express too strongly how important getting to mutal aid face-to-face support groups was to me immediately upon release from the safe bubble of treatment. they were the only people who spoke my language.
there's no getting away from it being hard work phyrne, but, for me it was both the hardest and most rewarding thing i ever encountered - maintaining sobriety.
you are worth it phyrne.
there's no getting away from it being hard work phyrne, but, for me it was both the hardest and most rewarding thing i ever encountered - maintaining sobriety.
you are worth it phyrne.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
OK, Let me recap. You have had grand mal seizures, have been hospitalized for an alcohol related condition, and, upon release you cannot stop thinking about taking a drink.
Yet its an AA meeting that scares you?
Let me suggest that your fears are misplaced.
Yet its an AA meeting that scares you?
Let me suggest that your fears are misplaced.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
You need to do more than stop drinking. As Dee said, you need to change your life. You can get involved in social activities that don't involve drinking. How about volunteer work? You may likely need to change friends as well, at least to some extent. But, you can stay sober and live a happy life and I hope you continue to read and post.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi Phyrne,
I was in the hospital when I detoxed. Then I went to rehab for three weeks. When I first got home, I was absolutely petrified. Scared witless.
I found an AA meeting in my area and went right away. It helped to give me some accountability to myself so I wouldn't talk myself into drinking.
I went to quite a few AA meetings in the beginning and it really helped me to stay sober.
I don't go much anymore, but it kept me sober in those first few crucial months.
I was in the hospital when I detoxed. Then I went to rehab for three weeks. When I first got home, I was absolutely petrified. Scared witless.
I found an AA meeting in my area and went right away. It helped to give me some accountability to myself so I wouldn't talk myself into drinking.
I went to quite a few AA meetings in the beginning and it really helped me to stay sober.
I don't go much anymore, but it kept me sober in those first few crucial months.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
Welcome here my friend. I have hospital detoxed 3 times and it's very scary. I would imagine being alone right now is a little scary. I recommend AA personally as it is part of what's working for me but also posting and reading here a lot. Theres many good people that have been through it in both places.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Middelton, Idaho
Posts: 64
I rationalized my drinking by believing that since I wasn't doing heroin anymore, that it was okay.......then the binge drinking started, and then the blackouts.......all paths lead to destruction. I have zero answers, all I know is that if I keep the tab open for this forum, I am seconds away from support. Call me a cling-on, but it's working!.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
It's scary, no doubt. Often you end up in a lot different place, with different friends, different activities, a whole different life, and that all goes down in a fairly short period. Lots of people on this forum have been there, know exactly what you mean. But if you keep drinking, where are you going to be in five years? Ten? Premature, lonely death from organ failure? Death by windshield? Or are you lucky enough to live a long and unhealthy life until you look back on your years from your sickbed at 85 and say, "wow, I drank my whole @#$%ing life away, how did that happen to me?"
For me it was time to stop thinking about missing out on being drunk after work (short-term thinking) and to start thinking about pulling my act together and working on having a better life (long-term thinking).
For me it was time to stop thinking about missing out on being drunk after work (short-term thinking) and to start thinking about pulling my act together and working on having a better life (long-term thinking).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
my heart is with you Phyrne. it is terrifying. but it sounds like your drinking has put your health in serious danger. while facing a new life is scary, facing death because you didn't make changes to stop should be scarier. it is real, the danger.
please go to aa or some other support group. these groups have helped so many people stop. there are do many people who have been through what you have, reach out to them for help.
please go to aa or some other support group. these groups have helped so many people stop. there are do many people who have been through what you have, reach out to them for help.
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